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Mw99
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 1111
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 Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 5:25 pm Post subject: question about being treated condescendingly |
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When neurotypical people, especially fifty-something-year-old embittered women, perhaps with not too much education, come across, say, a young man in his early 20's, who is not attractive, who looks like a blue-collar guy, who doesn't look very intelligent, but who struts around with a bit of an attitude, with his brow wrinkled and his lips pressed tightly, do they have a tendency to deliberately treat this type of person condescendingly, in a conscious effort to upset them for thinking, or at least appearing to think, that they are better than people?
I've been treated condescendingly many times, by the type of people I described. Could it be that they treated me condescendingly precisely because they disapproved of my 'attitude' and not so much because they felt eager to demonstrate superiority over a seemingly unintelligent target? |
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Callista
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Age: 26
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Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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I think that particular generation (people who are in their 50s and 60s now) lived in a culture where being older than someone gave you a higher status, when kids were still supposed to be "seen and not heard". That viewpoint clashes with our current belief that "young is good", so people who bought into the idea that "older means authority" will naturally clash with those who are younger and believe that they are superior because they are younger. Enough practice, and they look down on anyone of a certain age--just as, with enough practice, people our age will look down on people their age for being "old".
Generation gaps like that are, IMO, really quite an obstacle. The generations can learn from each other--the new things and ideas the younger can teach the older; the experiences the older can share with the younger--but when they don't connect, the information is lost in the middle.
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Zsazsa
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Joined: Apr 20, 2007
Posts: 730
Location: Upstate New York, USA
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 5:49 pm Post subject: |
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Haven't you ever seen the Diet Coke Ad that was so popular a few years ago...the one where all the women in a corporate office
building all rush to the window to catch sight of the young guy taking a mid-day break from his construction worksite job?
No one can make you feel "inferior" unless you let them... |
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Mw99
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Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 1111
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Zsazsa wrote: | Haven't you ever seen the Diet Coke Ad that was so popular a few years ago...the one where all the women in a corporate office
building all rush to the window to catch sight of the young guy taking a mid-day break from his construction worksite job?
No one can make you feel "inferior" unless you let them... |
I never said I felt inferior (only disrespected... because I was, in fact, disrespected). |
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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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Joined: Jun 19, 2008
Posts: 2103
Location: US, midmap
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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Old people have treated me like total sh** in the past. Especially as a child.
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KaliMa
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Joined: Feb 09, 2007
Age: 47
Posts: 663
Location: Boston, Massachusetts, USA
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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I'm regularly treated condescendingly by people of all ages and types. I just ignore it. I do agree that it's frequently intended to be disrespectful, but I don't value other people's opinions enough to care - I know I'm wonderful  I just try to minimize future contact with them once they identify themselves to me by this behavior. |
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Rainstorm5
Tornado Aficionado
Joined: Feb 20, 2008
Posts: 1103
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:38 pm Post subject: |
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One thing I've learned in dealing with people:
Age does not necessarily equal wisdom
and
Having money doesn't mean one has brains.
Just my .00002.
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tomboy4good
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Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Posts: 628
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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Being disrespected is something I have endured my entire life! it comes from my elders, my peers, & people who are younger. I have learned that it's just my lot in life.
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BokeKaeru
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Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 21
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Location: Alternately Los Angeles, CA and Northampton, MA
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| Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 3:11 am Post subject: |
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| I knew a lot of those in school, who thought that their views were unquestionable because they were older and were therefore unpracticed in actually defending them. I had fun messing with such people. Thankfully, I haven't run into that since high school ended, though. |
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tweety_fan
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Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Posts: 1636
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| Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:54 am Post subject: |
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| Rainstorm5 wrote: | One thing I've learned in dealing with people:
Age does not necessarily equal wisdom
and
Having money doesn't mean one has brains.
Just my .00002. |
of course.
those types of people annoy me. the ones that think they are better than all others because they are rich or older or younger or whatever.
i have had people treat me like that. mostly as a kid. |
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heather37
Hummingbird
Joined: Sep 22, 2008
Posts: 24
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| Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 12:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Callista wrote: | I think that particular generation (people who are in their 50s and 60s now) lived in a culture where being older than someone gave you a higher status, when kids were still supposed to be "seen and not heard". That viewpoint clashes with our current belief that "young is good", so people who bought into the idea that "older means authority" will naturally clash with those who are younger and believe that they are superior because they are younger. Enough practice, and they look down on anyone of a certain age--just as, with enough practice, people our age will look down on people their age for being "old".
Generation gaps like that are, IMO, really quite an obstacle. The generations can learn from each other--the new things and ideas the younger can teach the older; the experiences the older can share with the younger--but when they don't connect, the information is lost in the middle. |
I completely see your point and agree with you. My mom is in that 50s-60s age group and she fits this description to a T. However, when she was younger, she claims to have lived this life of being some sort of free-wheeling hippy type. I vaguely remember some of this but that's all gone out the window now. Now she is uptight, critical, opinionated......the list goes on and on. The older she gets the worse the whole thing becomes. She has turned into exactly what she said she never would and when she is a manager type at work - well, let's just say I feel sorry for anyone who has ever had to work for her. She refuses to see anyone's viewpoint, thinks she's the expert on anything and everything (she's not), and will treat anyone in a condescending manner if they dare disagree with her. I definitely think it is the culture of that era and age group. |
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