New and confused...does this sound like Asperger's?

elizadoo · Emu Egg Joined: Nov 02, 2008 Posts: 2

Hello, all. I am a mom of a teen (16) girl. We always knew she was different and I am going to ask you all, if, in your opinions, Asperger's sounds "probable."

As a baby she was happy and smiling, very "good." Was fascinated with ceiling fans. Had (and still has) some immune system issues (allergies to food proteins, of all things, which she outgrew). Was very loving and cuddly, walked at about 1 but didn't talk until 3 . Was intensely fearful of strangers, would run and hide.

As a toddler/primary schooler she never seemed to socialize well. Whenever you see a group picture of her she is apart, staring up at the ceiling or off in another direction. At recess she would wander around the playground by herself. Would wake up in the middle of the night, alert, and would line up her My Little Ponies in long, snaking lines throughout the house, down the stairs, etc. Was reading at an early age, very good student. Never pointed at things--like a bug on the wall--but would insist it is "right there, mommy, look, right in front of you" as if I had ESP; it would take me a while to see what she was talking about.

Tested at school when 7 and dx'd gifted. Socialized "ok" with children but just didn't quite fit in. As a parent I observed that her "timing" seemed to be off. Also, she would stand back and observe, not participate, didn't know how and when to join in. Very creative and lived in a semi-make believe world. She would make friends (because she's creative) easily but never be able to keep them. Was subject to frequent infections, more than usual child. In school she started to have problems with certain types of learning: she didn't do well watching videos, or listening to certain types of voices (she would tune them out). So her teachers allowed her to go to the library (quiet) where she would read the textbook while the rest of the kids listened to the teacher/video. She would come back to the classroom and test with the other children and make an A. Showed no desire to ride a bike and when she finally did (age Cool

, she was perfectly happy to keep the training wheels on, We (parents) were worried because although she could ride the bike OK she was always crashing into walls and fences, her attention waned and she would dreamily gaze off into another direction, all the while heading straight into a parked car or a fence. She had a real problem learning how to fold origami in a class, she gave up in tears, she couldn't do what everyone else was doing.

By middle school she was aware that she was different and tried very hard to "belong". Put into a smaller group of "gifted" kids where she functioned better but she was average B student, too dreamy. Started to complain that certain loud noises bothered her, so on the schoolbus, for example, she wore earplugs. Was more conscious of her appearance (wanted to be like the other kids) and put an effort into dressing to fit in. She looked completely normal but long-term unable to maintain any close friendships. Was terrible with telephone converations and gossiping like the other girls, but because she smiled a lot (at her mother's urging) she "got by." Very outgoing and talkative--when the conversation was about something SHE was interested in. Preferred to be home as opposed to going out and socializing; would leave social functions (sleepovers, dances) early because they were "boring" or "too noisy" . Showed a tendency to relate better to adults than children. She wasn't very good at sports but is a great rhythmic dancer--belly dance, tap dance, Latin and ethnic dances, she could do them all.

In high school, at 14, became very popular due to her appearance, "All-American cheerleader type" and the ability to "joke around." However, the social pressure of being popular seemed to be too much for her, she couldn't understand the social nuances and innuendos, when to be serious and when to clown around, etc. and she began to isolate. Alienated all her aquaintances. Developed an eating disorder and depression. Now, a year later and coming out of the depression--small dose of Prozac daily and psychotherapy--we (parents) see that it might all be due to Asperger's. She has been moved to a smaller, self-paced classroom setting where she excels, she can sit at a computer and do her work online, listen to her iPod and tune out other distractions. At lunch she will sit with a group but "zone out" when the conversation becomes boring and then she will tune in 5 minutes later, her peers notice her lack of attention and disinterest. Has tried alcohol and drugs (alone) to see what other kids are raving about, but she is anti-drugs/alcohol, though she will tell others that she uses them, just to "fit in". She has some OCD issues, especially with her body, looks in mirrors a lot, fixates on her body, thinks people don't like her becuase she's "fat" (she's not, she's fine).

D volunteers as a teaching assistant in an elementary school (part-time) and says she prefers the little kids, they say exactly what they mean. She says she doesn't understand teens talking, they say one thing and mean another, there are too many "codes" she doesn't understand. To her, everything has hidden messages. Yet she is an extremely good writer and a critical reader.

Last night, after a trip to the mall, she asked me why the sales clerk (a cute young man) kept smiling and talking to her; was he flirting or just being polite? She is constantly confused about whether a boy is flirting with her or just conversing. She is extremely attractive (too much for her own good) and attracts a lot of male attention. Problem is, she takes what they say too literally. She has a problem with girls, too, she doesn't understand exactly how to relate to them. She can join a goup easily but she can't continue in the group, she is sensitive to criticism and doesn't pick up on the sarcasm--though she tries to emulate their sarcasm, she doesn't do it the same way and it comes off all wrong. Has little empathy (except for small children) but I (mom) have taught her to pretend, when a friend is sick to txt messge them and ask how they are, so sorry, type of thing. D is very blunt and will tell someone to his/her face when they are being "boring". Some days I have to remind her to brush her hair or take a shower. Because she is erratic in her appearance, some days looking completely polished and other days like she just rolled out of bed, I have learned that it works best to have her pick out her wardrobe the night before, so it is all planned in advance. So much work on my part!

If she is sitting around with a group of teens, say, ages 16, 17, 18, and they are discussing something mundane (like an upcoming concert), she will interupt the conversation with an off-the-wall statement like: "when I grow up I am going to own a big house in Africa and keep peacocks." I, her mom, have to explain to her why such statements are not socially acceptable, and she doesn't always "get it", she thinks if it's interesting to her, then everyone should like it. Plus, she doesn't see that teens don't say "when I grow up"--little children say that. Has tremendous dreams for herself--some are realistic, beause she's so talented; others are just plain crazy. Likes to organize crayons according to color, she says it calms her down.

Also, now she is learning to drive and she is actually a good driver because she follows the rules. However, in a parking lot she will have problems finding a spot to park in if there are too many available, she straddles the lines and can't figure out how to park in the middle of a space. She told me yesterday that it confuses her when there are too many choices. She was able to pull into a single spot (between 2 cars) very easily, however.

We travel extensively all over the world and D loves it, which is surprising. Our guess is that it is because it is a) intellectually stimulating and b) she does well talking to adults about actual things--eg places she's been, cultures she has observed, etc. She can converse "normally" with adults because the topics are clear-cut and factual.

There, I am done. Any feedback? Thank you so much, I would like to broach her psychologist with this, because she is working on why D can't keep friends, but her psych is new to her (just 1 month old) and doesn't have a clear history.