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"THE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL SMALL TALK" by GroovyDr
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The next article should be:
"The Secrets of Successful Flirting"
12%
 12%  [ 6 ]
"The Secrets of Successful Flirting"
12%
 12%  [ 6 ]
"The Secrets of Successful Negotiation"
6%
 6%  [ 3 ]
"The Secrets of Successful Negotiation"
6%
 6%  [ 3 ]
"The Secrets of Successfully Spotting Upset People"
8%
 8%  [ 4 ]
"The Secrets of Successfully Spotting Upset People"
8%
 8%  [ 4 ]
"The Secrets of Projecting Successful Body Language
22%
 22%  [ 11 ]
"The Secrets of Projecting Successful Body Language
22%
 22%  [ 11 ]
Total Votes : 48

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GroovyDruid
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 3:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tim_p wrote:
Thank you very much for these articles. I've learnt a lot from them.


You are most welcome! Glad they have been helpful.

Tim_p wrote:

Hastily, I voted for "The Secrets of Successfully Flirting". Had I given myself a few hundred milliseconds more and read all the options before voting I would have voted for "The Secrets of Successfully Spotting Upset People". It would be of immediate use for me, I know someone who I suspect may be depressed but given my history of grossly misinterpreting people I don't dare do anything. If you do choose that subject, please explain not only how to recognize an upset person but also how to go about comforting them (I'm an aspie with empathy).


Roger that.

Tell you what: in the polls, it looks like Projecting Successful Body Language is spanking all other topics, with Flirting coming up behind. I'll be covering those next, I suspect.

But why don't you drop me a PM with your specific questions on angry/depressed people, and I'll write you a custom reply in the blog? It's a great topic that lots of aspies would like to know about. That way, I can cover what you want to know specifically.
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Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can do,
Begin it.
Boldness has genius,
Power and magic in it.

--Goethe
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GroovyDruid
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

06xrs wrote:

Good analogy. I'm great with animals, I just never thought of using the same techniques I use to approach animals with people but now that you mention it I see they are very similar.


Yeah, people have a strong animal component that few fully comprehend and even fewer understand to any extent at all. But that animal component drastically affects every single human interaction. That's where body language comes in handy.
_________________
Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can do,
Begin it.
Boldness has genius,
Power and magic in it.

--Goethe
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GroovyDruid
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Posts: 384
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pixel8 wrote:
I voted for projecting successful body language next,
but it is facial expression I,m talking about.
I want to know how not to scare people or make them agressive,
I scowl or frown when I,m thinking hard, my facial muscles don't work properly.
I rarely reflect what I'm thinking on my face. Sad


Gotcha. I know what you mean. I've had similar problems.

This is a tough one, since I can't actually see your face. There is a tremendous amount of body language that goes on in the face, and it is much harder to control than the grosser movements like posture and arm position.

But I'll see what I can come up with! Very Happy For now, the best thing I can suggest is to work on learning how to project relaxed, non-aggressive body language with the rest of your body. If you can do this, then people usually blow off the facial contortions as your "clowning around". In fact, this is part of what clowns do.

See, if you frown and scowl along with crossing your arms and turning partly away from somebody, then your body language is consistent throughout. The other person will think you're pissed off. But if you open your arms, hands out of pockets with palms showing, face the person almost but not quite directly, mime his body language, and make healthy eye contact, along with scowling and frowning, the other person will go into stitches. He can't take you seriously, because he can plainly see that you're not really mad at him. You'll become quite popular as a funny guy, if you can pull it off. And that way, you don't have to worry about controlling your face when you don't have full concentration.
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Begin it.
Boldness has genius,
Power and magic in it.

--Goethe
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