Signs654
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Oct 05, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 184
|
 Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:13 pm Post subject: Does adulthood suck for aspies? |
 |
|
Do aspies have bad adulthoods? That's what I'm worried about. I'm a teen that's on the verge of adulthood.
Last edited by Signs654 on Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:06 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 9839
Location: Central USA
|
| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Adulthood has been way better than childhood for me. My teen years were some of the worst in my life. Now I have the power to decide things for myself, and the ability to live alone without people pestering m or moving my things around; my little apartment is a safe haven for me, where I can easily recharge before I go out to face the world again.
Now, granted, the transition is tough. From being a kid to being an adult can be really difficult, especially if--as I was--you're missing some of the skills you need to live as an adult. Missing skills can be learned, but it would be best if you learn them before you leave, because it's possible to crash pretty hard, depending on just what you're missing. If your parents are overprotective or don't realize that what's easy for other kids to learn, you might need help learning, then missing skills are likely and it's time to start yelling about getting somebody to teach you. The uber-skill, of course, that's most important, is knowing how to solve the problem of missing skills in the first place. Finding a person or a book or maybe an Internet article to either help you or teach you or make you a list of steps for something you can't do yet is something that's important to know. That, and self-advocacy (that is, knowing what to do about prejudice, knowing how to access services in your area, and knowing how to work the system in general), are probably the most important things you need to know before you leave.
That said--it's not uncommon, and not wrong, to stay past 18. If you do, have a plan in mind as to what your goals are now that you've graduated from school, whether that means college or vocational school or just learning more about how to do things before you leave. I highly recommend, if you can, getting a job (at least part time) and paying rent to your parents. This is a HUGE signal to them that you plan to move out and either support yourself or get your own arrangements, and do not intend to be a child forever.
_________________
Engineering & Psychology student. Gamer. Christian. Asexual. Information Addict. Deal with it!
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com |
|
| Back to top |
|
MmeLePen
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 09, 2009
Age: 48
Posts: 1129
Location: R.I.P.
|
| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:58 pm Post subject: |
|
|
NO!!! Being an adult aspie is awesome! Especially being an adult aspie with a decent income! Imagine being able to travel to where ever you want or being able to afford whatever books and music you want.
It's being a young aspie that SUCKS!!!! Things didn't turn around until I was about 35.
In NT years - I'm 44. In aspie years I'm about 25.
But you young aspies have the advantage of a dx and the internet. You should be able to cut about 10 years off the learning curve.
Hang in there. |
|
| Back to top |
|
pensieve
President of Gallifrey
Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 7452
Location: Sydney, Australia
|
| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:01 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Well it does if you don't work and can't live on your own. |
|
| Back to top |
|
pandd
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2006
Posts: 2582
|
| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:03 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| As with Callista, for me adulthood does not suck nearly so much as child hood. |
|
| Back to top |
|
whitetiger
Passionate Advocate
Joined: Feb 04, 2009
Age: 44
Posts: 1702
Location: Oregon
|
| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Childhood definitely sucks MUCH more than adulthood. I live independently, don't have a lot of money, but I have freedom to make choices and do what I want to do.
I also know better how to take care of my own AS needs better than my parents did.
_________________
I am a very strange female.
http://www.youtube.com/user/whitetigerdream
Don't take life so seriously. It isn't permanent! |
|
| Back to top |
|
warface
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 04, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 175
Location: London
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
I spent my childhood in a dreamworld and my teenage years in misery. Things turned around for me when I was about 19 when I started to get some deeper knowledge about myself and the world around me, and I've loved every minute of it. Don't waste any time or energy worrying about the future, neither should you get your hopes up too high - life is unpredictable.
_________________
condescend to function |
|
| Back to top |
|
BPalmer
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 26, 2008
Posts: 678
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:22 am Post subject: |
|
|
Hate to break it to you, but adulthood does NOT necessarily become a respite from a miserable childhood or teenage years. There seems to be this myth that we Aspies can all end up getting ahead of the NTs tortoise-and-hare style. There are way too many variable, such as how your parents (biological and step) treated you, their worldview, your social class, economic conditions, etc, etc, etc.
When I got into the adult world, everyone (relatives, others at my church, work supervisors, potential employers) still treated me like a child; they assumed I wasn't "mature" or "responsible" enough for things such as a relationship, or a full-time job. Through such prejudices, they hampered my development just as much (if not more) than AS ever could! Given that so many other Aspies have gone on to have lives - cars, relationships, families, well-paying jobs etc - it's obvious that many of us can do well with our lives if we're given a chance to. But no-one let me do that, and I have had the best years of my life wasted.
I look back upon my childhood with great fondness, because at least then, there were no worries about girls rejecting me, or having difficulty planning meals and budgeting. And I get just as many hostile reaction from members of the public as I did from other kids in school! So be warned, adulthood may not save you. But do the best you can to prepare yourself for the adult world while you a re still young. |
|
| Back to top |
|
warface
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 04, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 175
Location: London
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:25 am Post subject: |
|
|
^Sorry to hear that.
I think the best way to smooth the transition into adulthood for an Aspie may be to stay in full-time education for as long as possible?
_________________
condescend to function |
|
| Back to top |
|
millie
bits, pieces, brass, animals
Joined: Oct 26, 2008
Age: 50
Posts: 3448
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
up until the age of 36 my life was sh**. girl most likely gone to ruin.
36 things turned around.
life is hard for me - very hard, actually.
46 - age i am now - was dx'ed.
but there are some amazing things about being dx'ed with AS and now understanding who i am more fully.
in spite of how hard my journey has been i really would not swap it for the world. not at all. 
_________________
http://thegameofbreathing.blogspot.com |
|
| Back to top |
|
Wrackspurt
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 18, 2007
Posts: 732
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:58 am Post subject: |
|
|
| It's rough for all of us honestly, isn't it? I can't say it's been easy as it's especially hard for us on the spectrum, but it's not easy for anyone - neuro's included. That's life. I do know that the harder I try to be happy and helpful to others the easier that day goes by. |
|
| Back to top |
|
pandd
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2006
Posts: 2582
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 1:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
| BPalmer wrote: | | And I get just as many hostile reaction from members of the public as I did from other kids in school! |
I am sorry your adulthood has not been any improvement to date on your childhood.
I expect it's all rather individual and correlated to individual circumstances and experiences.
For instance, I am not nearly as effected by the hostile reactions from members of the public as I was by the hostile reactions of other kids at school, because it is very rare for anyone to actually physically assault me since I became an adult, whereas it was very rare for no kid to physically assault me on any given day at school during childhood.
But indeed, your mileage may differ. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 5678
Location: Middle East
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 1:36 am Post subject: |
|
|
The real tragedy is being an AS adult TODAY - 40-50 years old, and have lived all your life before that blaming yourself for your AS traits and not knowing it's an inborn condition you can do nothing about. Your adulthood will be totally different from ours, because you're diagnosed now, BEFORE your formative years.
_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur. |
|
| Back to top |
|
wrongchild
Blue Jay
Joined: Sep 06, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 78
Location: Taiwan
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:35 am Post subject: |
|
|
For me, adulthood is a little bit of boring, I used to
have vivid imagination! However the condition is
much better than teenage, at less I have more extra
time to do what I want. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
