timeisdead
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 15, 2008
Posts: 894
Location: Nowhere
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 Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:45 pm Post subject: Is it unusual not to feel the need of belonging? |
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| Often, having my way is more important to me than the need to personally connect to the majority of the population. |
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pensieve
President of Gallifrey
Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 7452
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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| I used to be like that, but now I find myself trying to connect with more and more people. |
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TheMidnightJudge
Ghost in the Shell
Joined: Mar 29, 2007
Posts: 1844
Location: New England
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| Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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I think I'm more isolated than most but I do have a strong desire to belong. It's just sometimes I have a greater desire to be alone.
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Sleepless gliding |
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Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 9935
Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:10 pm Post subject: |
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Not weird, no. It's called "being introverted". 
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Engineering & Psychology student. Gamer. Christian. Asexual. Information Addict. Deal with it!
Reports from a Resident Alien:
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ValMikeSmith
Terminal ill with computer virus
Joined: May 19, 2008
Age: 43
Posts: 1265
Location: Stranger in a strange land
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| Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:43 pm Post subject: |
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belonging always seems like the wrong word, means to me like being "owned".
I think it's weird when my friend says to someone "I belong to ... a group or club",
instead of "I joined ..." or "I am a member of ...".
edit: (answer to OP)
Some times I preferred being alone, other times I longed for company. |
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beareater
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Feb 07, 2009
Posts: 61
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| Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:09 pm Post subject: |
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i thought u meant spending time with others and talking to em
otherwise following ur interests makes sense in general |
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mitharatowen
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Posts: 3994
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| Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Yes. Most people want to feel like they 'belong' somewhere. |
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TheDoctor82
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 2312
Location: Sandusky, Ohio
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| Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:38 am Post subject: |
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| You want to connect to the majority of the population? Tell me you're not serious...I appear to have many working braincells..I don't want to lose them dumbing myself down for their approval... |
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Thorny_Rose
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 17, 2009
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:31 am Post subject: |
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I don't find it unusual. I prefer to be alone, and have always been this way.
The exceptions are with my husband and my kids. One I chose because he makes me come alive, the others...Well, anyone who says aspies can't feel love for their offspring are full of it 
I've noted within my own life that although I'm capable of "connecting" with others, it's an experience I do only rarely. More often, people seem to seek me out for friendship, and I'm baffled. I also have difficulty retaining affection for friends. More often than not, I walk away without a word.,,For months or years at a time. It's not like there's anything wrong, I just prefer personal solace to being around others.
I learned to do the whole "social function" thing out of necessity, when my mother would push me into the debutante circuit and try to get me to mingle. It caused such an all-out rebellion, though. I despise the clubs she's in, and I really don't see the point of congregating in that respect. |
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zer0netgain
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2009
Posts: 4260
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| Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:44 am Post subject: |
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After years of being rejected, I learned to go it alone.
However, I do long for connections to other people, so I suppose it's a bit of both.
I learned to be comfortable in my own space and know that, if necessary, it was enough.
I suppose the best analogy is how NT people foolishly think that getting married will make them complete.
Get married because you happen to find someone you want to spend your life with...not because you feel incomplete unless you are married. If you can't love yourself, what makes you think adding another person will solve the problem? |
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sbwilson
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 11, 2009
Age: 37
Posts: 187
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| Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:56 am Post subject: |
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| TheDoctor82 wrote: | | You want to connect to the majority of the population? Tell me you're not serious...I appear to have many working braincells..I don't want to lose them dumbing myself down for their approval... |
Honestly, this is very often exactly how I feel. I just avoid saying it, for fear of giving the impression of narcissism. I know a guy with a LOT of aspergers traits, I can garauntee you he's never been assessed, but in my opinion, he too would identify exactly with how you feel. I've often been puzzled trying to figure him out, usually from a far (due to his inability or desire to keep almost everything to himself) and I've often wondered if he's Aspergers, or if he's a narcissistic introvert. The two of us don't get along very well at all, which I believe is due to his narcissist qualities. |
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b9
whatever..
Joined: Aug 15, 2008
Posts: 8514
Location: australia
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| Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:57 am Post subject: |
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i do not want to "belong" anywhere else than where i live.
i live far from others in my mind, but i belong where i settled a long time ago.
i certainly do not want to "belong" in other peoples worlds, or they will include me in their list of "belongings". i hate the "heat" of other peoples attention, and i do not like their expectations.
they hope for different things than i hope for always.
i am glad i do not belong where i do not want to be.
but i am kind of sad that no one belongs near me.
i am tired and this is my last shabby post for this evening. |
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Asmodeus
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2009
Posts: 1520
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| Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:03 am Post subject: |
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| I don't feel the need to belong, but people are needed to make things happen, and if I know I need to push myself to be around people daily as much as possible so I don't loose my social skills. |
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poopylungstuffing
Lolliwink Slayer
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 37
Posts: 7618
Location: Snapdragon Ridge
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kalantir
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 712
Location: Redmond, WA USA
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| Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:57 am Post subject: |
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Occasionally I feel the need to fit in. So I start hanging out with "friends"(people I know). Then I remember how much people suck so I go back to hanging out with my "girlfriend"(computer).
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Last edited by kalantir on Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:17 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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