SpaceCase
Boldly Going NOWHERE
Joined: Mar 15, 2005
Age: 23
Posts: 2674
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
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 Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 7:35 pm Post subject: How judgemental are you? |
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I do not judge people until I get to know them.
-SpaceCase 
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Live and let live. |
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airbikecop
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 29, 2005
Posts: 209
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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| It depends. |
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SolaCatella
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 694
Location: [insert creative, funny declaration of location here]
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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| I can be VERY picky when choosing the people that I want to spend time with, but other than that I try not to be judgemental. I tend to be rather acidic when I consider someone to be acting like an idiot, though. |
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pyraxis
Phoenix
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Joined: Mar 26, 2005
Posts: 1527
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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I don't *think* I'm judgemental but I'm also pretty sure I'm not an accurate judge of that. (  did I just prove myself right or wrong?)
I like to think I have a high tolerance for deviance. |
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toonaspie
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Dec 20, 2005
Posts: 44
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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When I'm in a bad mood I can be judgmental in a very negative way but my experience with my ex roommate this past semester has taught me to be a lot more careful. I made a few negative judgments towards her and in brutaliation she became 10x sh*ttier to me than she used to be. Even after I apologized she chose to be very judgmental and treat me and my guests intentionally worst than I had been to her. She would insult and ridicule me alot when I had only done so once or twice. She would be unfriendly to the numerous friends and family members I had in the room when she only had one complaint about me slamming the door on a friend that came looking for her one time (I was having an Aspie moment at the time, something which I also tried to explain to her but she chose to ignore). It's a real shame too, because she saw herself as the victim in our situation and I dont think a victim would chose to strike harder and hold a grudge against me for an entire semester just for making a few mistakes I apologized for.
I'm trying to be more positive. In this way I become less judgmental about people and friendly...almost NT friendly. I suprised myself one time when I went to a cookout where I didnt know anybody and I managed to be positive enough to manage near NT like conversation and made a new friend in the process. Sometimes you realize that when you make the effort to be nice and positive about people, it just plain works!!!
Last edited by toonaspie on Wed Dec 28, 2005 9:58 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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larsenjw92286
Your invitation to come on down!
Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Age: 26
Posts: 8857
Location: Seattle, Washington
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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I hate to tell you all this... very!
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Jason Larsen
gameshowdude1986@yahoo.com |
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Namiko
Divine Knight
Joined: Jun 14, 2005
Posts: 2443
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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I'm probably too judgemental for my own good. However, I tend to keep my judgements to myself. Giving people the benefit of the doubt has never come easily for me and I am honestly more likely to look at a bad side of a situation rather than a good one.
But you probably wouldn't have guessed that from reading what I've written. Most of my judgments (like thoughts) never make it out of my head, which is probably a good thing. 
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Itaque incipet.
All that glitters is not gold but at least it contains free electrons. |
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toonaspie
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Dec 20, 2005
Posts: 44
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 9:28 pm Post subject: |
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Relating to my post above (sorry, I went on a rant/vent that I shouldnt have), from my perspective, most NTs can be very judgmental people...especially towards us aspies.
Of course most of the people we aspies tend to be judgmental towards are the NTs (am I right?). For those of us who are trying to make more friends, the best way we can do so is by being less judgmental and making the NTs feel bad for being judgmental themselves
That's all we can hope for anyway. |
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North
Raven
Joined: Nov 06, 2005
Posts: 119
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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| I'll admit that I'm very judgemental, though not as bad as I used to be. One of the reasons why I think I had trouble making friends in middle/high school is because I would write off most of my peers as a nerd, loser, geek, etc. |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 14837
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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Quite.
Its not a good thing either. |
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MindOfOrderedChaos
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 27, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 769
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Im probably very judgemental. |
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cheesecheese
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 25, 2005
Posts: 213
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 10:34 pm Post subject: |
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Very judgemental.
When things start irritating me and I get close to meltdown (frequently), little things start jumping out at me. 'wrong' things. A belt that doesn't look good on a random person's outfit. The way a mother speaks to her child. A person from a particular culture that I find hostile asking for directions. A friend who doesn't feel the everyday pressures that I do to 'be normal' and blend in with everyone else as much as possible. A song on the radio. The way an IM is worded... I attack. Rage issues. Being shoved into a little box that didn't fit me for so long has left some scars, I'd say. I hate things that don't make sense, that aren't 'good'. Those things give way to crazy, and lost opportunities. Be perfect, be perfect, be perfect... |
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midge
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 03, 2004
Posts: 301
Location: The Great Plains
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Usually not very, I like seeing the good in people and try to remember that there are reasons that they act or think the way they do that I'm not even aware of and that are probably really complex. Sometimes it's the opposite, though-when someone has hurt me, I tend to rip them and others like them apart in my mind. Once I've gotten over the hurt, I'm not so hard on them but I'm often still suspicious and afraid. I'm very sensitive and have low self-esteem, so I think this is a defense mechanism. |
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Taruby
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Dec 05, 2005
Age: 27
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 4:30 am Post subject: |
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Tripping over other peoples wires that leads to a reaction of displeasure makes me instantly judge them as someone I cannot be around comfortably anymore. In this type of circumstance, pretty much all individuals in some ways have this reaction, so it's inevitable for me to judged these individuals I have met into the same box.
I hope the question isn't implying final irrefutable judgements as I feel that everyone has the possiblity to redeem themselves from my judgemental evaluation of their beings. Not that I am unable to undwell on past interactions that led to my judgements, but it'll allow me to have a much more pleasant atmosphere whenever I think of them. People who disappear or break off connections with me after I formulate a displeasurable judgement on them tend to stick to my subconscious thought reviewing phases which bothers me as this leaves me in a bad mood which may indirectly upset the people around me. I don't know which side of the spectrum between magnanimous and unforgiving this makes me, though. |
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Malaclypse
Raven
Joined: Dec 17, 2005
Posts: 104
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 9:40 am Post subject: |
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| toonaspie wrote: | | It's a real shame too, because she saw herself as the victim in our situation and I dont think a victim would chose to strike harder and hold a grudge against me for an entire semester just for making a few mistakes I apologized for. |
What you explained there has principally happened to me too several times, and it's something about NTs and not getting over things. It's as if they want us to behave in some way they refuse to tell us about or else just keep us in that lock. I noticed a former friend of mine break that spell once by saying no in an angry and complaining tone of voice which set things straight again pretty easily, but it didn't work when I did it. It's one of the main reasons why I stay away from NTs: when they have locked themselves in a prejudice about me they keep having that attitude and look for signs to verify their opinion, which will always keep coming up.
Btw, she sounds like a real as*hole, especially since you said everything, apologized and all. It's unnerving to know they act like that because they think we are wrong and they right instead of A being relatively just as different to B as B is to A, that you probably had as much reason to be annoyed with her as she had to with you. They keep playing that normal card. |
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