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| have you ever been told you don't have asperger's |
| yes |
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75% |
[ 9 ] |
| no |
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25% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 12 |
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sugarmama
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 16, 2009
Age: 31
Posts: 49
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 Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:57 pm Post subject: so my counselor says i don't have aspergers... |
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she said she doesn't feel i have aspergers because:
i have a friend (loose statement).. (and apies don't have friends)
i'm not thoroughly obsessed with one topic.. (relational obsession count?)
and typically (she said) asperger people can logically argue out of something they don't want to do..
(just because i say, oh ah ha, when she points out something)
maybe she thinks i'm not brilliant enough
how many of you know you're smarter or don't really live up to your full potential or maybe have given up on interests out of sheer depression?
say "I"
I haven't talked to her alot but my "friend" is kinda like my mom and gives me gas money and food when me or my children need anything,
on a social level it's ok but i don't logically take things in (i feel) like everyone else...
it's like a hang around, take, and leave without much emotional attachment, come and go, you know
i've never felt (mature enough for my age) like others my age, somewhat out of the loop durring social engagements
i've always stood out as being different.. inside and out
i was always an anxious wreck in school and would typically stick to anyone i felt safe with, not talking too much
in my rebellious teen years i would sit and just watch everyone..
i feel absolutely comfortable when hanging out with friends at a bar not talking or saying anything other than
"hey, did you hear i got a calgran and talk about what i've been up to and how i'm trying to be good these days"
i have a lot of acquaintances like from jobs then so-called friends
anything i'm actually good at or achieve has stemmed from an obsession..
serious note taking, talk about my interest with others, sound like i know what i'm talking about,
obsession..
i got my feelings hurt and had to talk myself through it because my lab partner
last semester got along better with another girl in my class and they would talk through the whole
movie and you won't catch me talking to someone like that though i would like to, it just doesn't happen for me,
and they were making plans to hang out
me and her just got along civilay, almost mechanically or cordially
and i was really interested in her being a friend..
in my classes in college
my teachers could vouch i take information in "differently"
and really know how to open up discussion for everyone else afraid to ask questions..
i can put a different spin on things i'm interested in..
i don't feel like my counselor really "listens" to me and i don't feel
comfortable telling her all my anxieties now that we've develped somewhat of a rapport
i feel like i tell her what i should...
she said i have situational depression...
for what 31 years??? my dad use to say i was going to be a lawyer because i could make anything sound like logic and
i was always right and in grade school and highschool i would always know these random facts.. he died when i was 11
i think the asperger's quiz's are stupid and don't ask the right questions
and i really feel i have it to some degree
so how do i go about taking this counselor's advice???
Is it possible i have aspergers and situational depression??
That frustrates me when (and this seems to have gone on ALL MY LIFE)
I tell someone something about MYSELF, and they argue with me that i'm wrong and they know more about me than i do...
What gives?  |
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Aimless
infp
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 2082
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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| It sounds like you know more about Asperger's than your counselor. I think the same about my son's psychiatrist ( who just manages his meds) I asked him once what was the difference between having Asperger's and just being shy and he said "I don't know good question." |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 4855
Location: In the Fortress Of Solitude
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe you should seek diagnoses with someone else. I got told two times, from so called professionals, that I didn't have Asperger's. The first was a short screening from a psychiatrist. The second was several hours of testing that was meant for children, administered by a student who was supposedly supervised by a psychiatrist. The third time was the charm, and it was a psychologist who wasn't trying to find people to give drugs to. She took the time to observe me, and ask about history, before diagnosing me.
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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself! |
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Ruchard
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 27, 2008
Posts: 358
Location: South London
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Go to another counselor till you get the right diagnoses. |
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crysthewolf
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 17, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with the folks who suggest looking for a diagnosis elsewhere. And if you don't feel like you can talk to your therapist about things and she doesn't seem to understand her, I would suggest finding another therapist.
An example of a good therapist:
I have been seeing a psychologist for the past few months and she does not specialize in Autism or Asperger Syndrome. When I got to searching out some things on Asperger Syndrome, I started wondering if I might have it. I brought the topic up to her, and her first response was "Well, I'm not sure, because you can be pretty social. Then again, it's possible you could have adapted to your life over time and that your neurology and way of thinking still point to Asperger Syndrome. What makes you think you have it?" She then suggested, since she is NOT an Autism professional, that we seek an official diagnosis from someone who is trained in the field.
A good psychologist knows their limitations and will not brush off your concerns blithely. You deserve a good psychologist that you can trust. |
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pschristmas
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 42
Posts: 519
Location: Buda, TX
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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I was told I'm not autistic because I can hold a normal conversation and have a good relationship with my daughter. I was told I had a highly sensitive nervous system (the sensory stuff) and some autistic features. (??) If you're really interested in a diagnosis, I'd suggest finding some one else. Personally, I'm relatively happy with my counsellor, so I'm sticking with him for the time being.
Regards,
Patricia |
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sugarmama
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 16, 2009
Age: 31
Posts: 49
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:11 pm Post subject: Friends |
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I've never felt more at home than on this site, thank you so much for the comments and info.. I will check into it, it's amazing how much i want to trust people and their opinions even though I fell in my heart they are stronly wrong.. who has that much time to be that indepth about something important to us than ourselves.. thanks again...
what i was mostly interested in is she wrong
is it impossible to have aspergers and friendships?
you guys have friends or one or two? |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 4855
Location: In the Fortress Of Solitude
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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| crysthewolf wrote: | | A good psychologist knows their limitations and will not brush off your concerns blithely. You deserve a good psychologist that you can trust. |
You said it!
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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself! |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 4855
Location: In the Fortress Of Solitude
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:30 pm Post subject: Re: Friends |
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| sugarmama wrote: | what i was mostly interested in is she wrong
is it impossible to have aspergers and friendships?
you guys have friends or one or two? |
I have no trouble making friends. Just trouble keeping them... 
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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself! |
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buryuntime
oh comely
Joined: Dec 07, 2008
Posts: 1256
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Ruchard wrote: | | Go to another counselor till you get the right diagnoses. |
This is a stupid answer. If you visit enough counselors/psychiatrists you are bound to find one that will diagnose you with something or convince them you have something. And then what, pick the one you like? |
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crysthewolf
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 17, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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| buryuntime wrote: | | Ruchard wrote: | | Go to another counselor till you get the right diagnoses. |
This is a stupid answer. If you visit enough counselors/psychiatrists you are bound to find one that will diagnose you with something or convince them you have something. And then what, pick the one you like? |
I don't think it's stupid, just incomplete. It sounds an awful lot like the psychiatrist doesn't know anything about Asperger Syndrome. I think "right diagnoses" meant "the diagnosis that fits your symptoms from a psychiatrist/psychologist who actually LISTENS to your concerns and you reasons for wondering and who is a trained Autism specialist as opposed to a psychologist who apparently thinks that the most common symptom of Asperger Syndrome is that you don't have any friends."
I'm elaborating a bit and taking some liberties, but that's the impression that I got. |
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crysthewolf
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 17, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:28 pm Post subject: Re: Friends |
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| hartzofspace wrote: | | sugarmama wrote: | what i was mostly interested in is she wrong
is it impossible to have aspergers and friendships?
you guys have friends or one or two? |
I have no trouble making friends. Just trouble keeping them... |
Here here! LOL
I agree though, I don't necessarily have a lot of trouble making friends. My trouble tends to be in WHERE I'm making the friends. For example, I don't make friends very easily at work because I have a bit of a compartmentalist mind and while I'll talk to my coworkers if they talk to me, I tend to feel that I'm primarily there to "do work". And, of course, I suck at "small talk". I also have some difficulty making friends if the folks around me have trouble taking discussions beyond a superficial level very quickly. I get bored and go find something else to do, lol.
So in short I don't think it's impossible at all for Aspies to make and have friends, it just requires the right people and the right circumstances. I have some very, very good friends. Sometimes I DO have trouble keeping friends, but the ones who stick around are extremely worthwhile.
But of course it can get lonely when you see coworkers going to lunch together or getting together outside of work and you think, "Why can't I connect with people like that?" |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13250
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:18 pm Post subject: Re: Friends |
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| sugarmama wrote: | I've never felt more at home than on this site, thank you so much for the comments and info.. I will check into it, it's amazing how much i want to trust people and their opinions even though I fell in my heart they are stronly wrong.. who has that much time to be that indepth about something important to us than ourselves.. thanks again...
what i was mostly interested in is she wrong
is it impossible to have aspergers and friendships?
you guys have friends or one or two? |
my best friends are on WP. I am thankful for each of them.
Merle
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where sin abounds, grace abounds the more;
Non omnis moriar |
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pandd
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2006
Posts: 1924
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:58 pm Post subject: Re: Friends |
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| sugarmama wrote: | | ...you guys have friends or one or two? |
Yes, I took one to my assessment. |
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Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Age: 47
Posts: 5503
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:40 pm Post subject: Re: so my counselor says i don't have aspergers... |
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| sugarmama wrote: | That frustrates me when (and this seems to have gone on ALL MY LIFE)
I tell someone something about MYSELF, and they argue with me that i'm wrong and they know more about me than i do... |
Well, you went to ask for HER opinion, not for YOURS. If you know better about you than anyone else does, then no need to go to her or anyone, right? Unless an AS diagnosis is a pre-requisite for you to get social security help, as in my case, where the opinion of the idiot shrink is more important than my self-knowledge of half a century.
Friendship or lack thereof are not a symptom of a neurological difference, that's totally ridiculous, nor are any of the other things you mention. Ultimately, whatever you or she say, you either have ToM and empathy or you don't. And that is what determines whether you have Asperger's or not.
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So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur. |
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