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Maggiedoll
Loon
Joined: Jun 05, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 1666
Location: Maryland
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 Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 12:36 pm Post subject: "How's it goin'?" |
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| Ok, when someone says this in place of hello, what's the correct response? Like, I'm passing someone on the street, I say "Hi" and they say "How's it goin'?" or "'Sup," but we're not stopping to talk to each other, we're just passing by. It's not like there's time to answer at all... Is it rude to not answer the question? Answering feels like talking to myself, since by the time I'd be answering, our backs are probably to each other.. like passing on the street, or on the stairs or something.. there's not supposed to be a pretense of conversation, is there? There's no stopping, it's just seeing someone who is walking in the opposite direction, and acknowledging them.. Why do people make their greetings questions at those times?? It's not like they could hear an answer.. |
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activebutodd
Phoenix
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Joined: May 30, 2009
Posts: 807
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| Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 12:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Usually they don't want an in depth answer. 'Hi' in return is usually accepted. |
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Maggiedoll
Loon
Joined: Jun 05, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 1666
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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| activebutodd wrote: | | Usually they don't want an in depth answer. 'Hi' in return is usually accepted. |
What if they've responded to "Hi" with "'Sup?" and, having passed, are now walking in the other direction. I don't think I'm supposed to slow down or stop or anything.. It's not like a "How's it goin'?" from a store clerk or something where there is a bit of interaction.. I get that you're supposed to make some attempt at small talk when you're being rung up in the checkout line. (ok, I'm not GOOD at it, but I can kinda understand it) But why ask a question when you're PASSING somebody?
Should I treat it as though they just said "Hi" back? I don't think it's an attempt at starting small talk.. I'm just afraid I'm rude if I don't answer, and schizophrenic if I answer to someone who isn't there anymore... Even if it's just... What, like "I'm fine, thank you, and you?" to the air in the path of where they had been? |
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elderwanda
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
Age: 42
Posts: 1049
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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| Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 3:16 pm Post subject: Re: "How's it goin'?" |
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| Maggiedoll wrote: | | Ok, when someone says this in place of hello, what's the correct response? Like, I'm passing someone on the street, I say "Hi" and they say "How's it goin'?" or "'Sup," but we're not stopping to talk to each other, we're just passing by. It's not like there's time to answer at all... Is it rude to not answer the question? Answering feels like talking to myself, since by the time I'd be answering, our backs are probably to each other.. like passing on the street, or on the stairs or something.. there's not supposed to be a pretense of conversation, is there? There's no stopping, it's just seeing someone who is walking in the opposite direction, and acknowledging them.. Why do people make their greetings questions at those times?? It's not like they could hear an answer.. |
I think it's usually acceptable to just act like it's not a question that needs an answer. I mean, it needs a response, but not an answer as to what exactly is "up". Whatever that means! That one has always bugged me, too, because it is a question. And it's a weird question, too, if you take it literally. Sometimes people say, "Nothing much", which is at least an actual answer. I don't like that answer, though, because it's like saying, "There is nothing in my life worth mentioning." I'd rather just say, "Hey, how's it going?" or "Hey, nice to see you." (But I only say that if it actually is nice to see the person. If don't specifically feel that, I won't think to say it.) |
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Janissy
Phoenix
Joined: May 06, 2009
Age: 43
Posts: 1109
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| Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 4:23 pm Post subject: |
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The script goes like this:
Him: What's up?
You: Nothing much. 'Sup with you?
Him: Not much. Later.
And you go your separate ways.
It's just a ritual exchange for people who want to acknowledge each other but don't have time for a full length chat. |
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NicksQuestions
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: May 26, 2009
Posts: 179
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| Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 6:33 pm Post subject: Re: "How's it goin'?" |
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| Maggiedoll wrote: | | Ok, when someone says this in place of hello, what's the correct response? Like, I'm passing someone on the street, I say "Hi" and they say "How's it goin'?" or "'Sup," but we're not stopping to talk to each other, we're just passing by. It's not like there's time to answer at all... Is it rude to not answer the question? Answering feels like talking to myself, since by the time I'd be answering, our backs are probably to each other.. like passing on the street, or on the stairs or something.. there's not supposed to be a pretense of conversation, is there? There's no stopping, it's just seeing someone who is walking in the opposite direction, and acknowledging them.. Why do people make their greetings questions at those times?? It's not like they could hear an answer.. |
Right now I'm reading some things on body language and how people use eye contact to communicate. I would think giving them a response or assuming it's just a return greeting depends on if they change their body around to face you and if they use eye contact to signal that they want to talk. If they don't, I would think it's just a greeting, rather than a question.
If it's on the street and they keep on walking, you probably don't need to give an answer and just assume they're greeting you back. If they keep on walking after they ask but are making eye contact, then they may want something briefly back, like "Good" or "Goin' well". |
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Jaejoongfangirl
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 20, 2007
Posts: 342
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| Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:17 pm Post subject: Re: "How's it goin'?" |
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| NicksQuestions wrote: |
If it's on the street and they keep on walking, you probably don't need to give an answer and just assume they're greeting you back. If they keep on walking after they ask but are making eye contact, then they may want something briefly back, like "Good" or "Goin' well". |
I agree.
Don't fret over it too much, though. You can answer or not answer, either way I don't think anyone will be too offended.
When that happens to me I hate the way I have to answer while walking away - it seems rude.
I respond "Pretty good, thanks." or "Good, thanks. You?" if it seems like I have enough time to before they pass me. If they're too close, I just take it as a response greeting - no answer expected. |
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Basement
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 01, 2006
Posts: 159
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:15 pm Post subject: |
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If you're walking by it's OK to simply nod and acknowledge it with a simple hey or something like that. Usually it's enough to keep it brief or you can be polite and say 'fine, thanks. Any news?' etc.
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d057
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 27, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 150
Location: Sarver, PA
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| Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 11:08 am Post subject: |
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When you don't say high to somebody, especially in high school, that will eventually cause you to develop a bad repuatation. Trust me, I was like that at my old high school.
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Basement
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 01, 2006
Posts: 159
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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do57 has a point, making an effort might prevent someone from being isolated, or well, shunned.
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b9
whatever..
Joined: Aug 15, 2008
Posts: 2072
Location: australia
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| Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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to the "statement" (not question) "how's it going" i never respond.
i used to think they were asking me a question when people said that.
to people who i knew, i used to say "how's what going?", and they would become strange and say "oh just things". "so what things?" i used to ask, and they said usually "never mind".
but strangers in australia can also say "g'day mate. how's it going", so i presumed that it is just a catch cry rather than a question.
to them i say "reasonable" and i continue on my way. although that is my natural response, it is also quite handy because no one ever asks me to clarify what i mean by "reasonable".
these days, people who i know who say the phrase "how's it goin' mark???" can be shut up with my answer of "good thankyou".
then i proceed to my destination without further consultation with them. |
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raisedbyignorance
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 29, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 420
Location: Indianapolis
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| Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Maggiedoll wrote: | | activebutodd wrote: | | Usually they don't want an in depth answer. 'Hi' in return is usually accepted. |
What if they've responded to "Hi" with "'Sup?" and, having passed, are now walking in the other direction. I don't think I'm supposed to slow down or stop or anything.. It's not like a "How's it goin'?" from a store clerk or something where there is a bit of interaction.. I get that you're supposed to make some attempt at small talk when you're being rung up in the checkout line. (ok, I'm not GOOD at it, but I can kinda understand it) But why ask a question when you're PASSING somebody? |
I know, right?! It makes absolutely no sense to me! What if you're hurrying to get to class or something and you have to deal with that?!
When someone asks me "how I am" I always replied "fine". It took me years to realize that I'm suppose to ask how they are in return. But I never understood that. What if they don't have time to tell you how they are and what if you dont have time to listen? Now suppose this conversation were to take place when I'm not passing by them and the person approaches me while I'm relaxing or something. That would make more sense to respond "how are you" like that but not when I'm obviously on the move to somewhere. |
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Jacoby
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 11, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 233
Location: Midwest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:52 pm Post subject: |
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| I've had that problem quite a bit. I usually answer "doing fine" or "it's all good". I've also answered other greetings with those as well tho. |
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AnnePande
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 14, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 729
Location: Aarhus, Denmark
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| Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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Once I noticed that when English-speaking people asked me "how are you?", they wouldn't necessarily expect an answer, not even "fine thanks", because the second after, their attention would be at another place, although I said "fine, thanks, and you?". That confused me a bit, because in Danish we always expect an answer to that question (though a "smalltalk answer"), and I guessed that in English it might just mean the same as "hi", without expecting an answer as to a question.
That wasn't an aspie thing though, just a matter of language confusion.  |
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AceOfSpades
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 12, 2006
Age: 18
Posts: 460
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| Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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Sup?
a) not much
b) the usual
c) nothing
How are you?
a) good
b) fine (thank you)
c) not bad
If you're gonna have a convo, follow it up either by elaborating a little, or asking about them. |
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