should my teens with as get jobs?
They are stressed at school, then come home and need downtime to de-stress. Would the extra added stress of a job be sensible in order to help them with even more social contact and skill building? I think it would be tough. They aren't too interested in a job. Well, the younger one maybe. They don't ask for much money. I'd like them to have a very part time job. Any great ideas?
From what you have said, it seems like schoolwork is enough to handle. I am a 40 year old adult who can only manage to work part-time and I don't go to school. When I was in grad school, I had a part time job and the stress led to an emotional breakdown, as did every time I've tried to work full time.
_________________
I am a very strange female.
http://www.youtube.com/user/whitetigerdream
Don't take life so seriously. It isn't permanent!
From what you have said, it seems like schoolwork is enough to handle. I am a 40 year old adult who can only manage to work part-time and I don't go to school. When I was in grad school, I had a part time job and the stress led to an emotional breakdown, as did every time I've tried to work full time.
_________________
I am a very strange female.
http://www.youtube.com/user/whitetigerdream
Don't take life so seriously. It isn't permanent!
In all honesty, I'd be more inclined to suggest that you make sure that they get out with a group of friends (even just to talk) once per week. That would do more to socialise (and de-stress) them.
I wouldnt force them into getting a job. I know that high school was a very stressful time for me, and trying to get a job would have been a horrible idea. I would however teach them financial responsibility. Tell them that they are responsible for paying for their own luxuries, and the only rule is that they cant go into debt. If that means they want to get a job and spends lots of money on things that they dont need, thats up to them, but dont force them into it.
I personally just did things like mow my neighbor's lawns and shovel their drive ways for a few 100 dollars per year. And that was more then enough to pay for all the luxuries I wanted witch was really only a new computer game every few months.
I cringe when I hear parents trying to find ways to make their kids socialize. I suppose I might have thought that way at one time, certainly when my son was first diagnosed. But frankly, now I see things differently.
I think volunteering is the best idea, that way they won't feel the pressure to perform up to par because they're being paid yet they'll get so much experience as to what work is like. In fact, this is what I'm suggesting my 16 year old do, though she wants to waitress??? Ok, whatever, as long as she does something, LOL.
As far as socializing goes, I've always wondered why my son's best friend and he got on so well. Well his friend was recently diagnosed as aspie That figures, because all of my son's other friends are from his autism/aspergers school. Like minds get along very well. I must say we are so lucky to live in Los Angeles and have our son in a specialty school like that. He fits right in with 10 other kids in his class. Most all get along so well, so socializing actually just happened naturally. And it's funny, they're taught how to get along with other people, so they "play" very politely. It’s fun to watch.
So my suggestion is if there is any way to find other kids on the spectrum to get together with, try that and see what happens without any pressure? Even so, my kid doesn’t have many play dates. Maybe one a week with his best friend if he is lucky, and it’s plenty for him.
My only worry is there aren’t enough aspie girls… I suspect they’d make the best girlfriends for him. Where are they all hiding? I hope he finds one when he’s grown up, ‘cause I don’t think he’d like an NT girl….
I worked my junior and senior year of high school. During the school year I kept it to about 20 hours a week and in the summer did full time. It was a full service laundry mat and I rarely had to deal with the customers. I found it really relaxing and had money for my hobbies and car, plus I could listen to music and books while I worked and just zone out on the motions. I agree that you shouldn't make them get a job, but that right job could provide a calm space for them.
Responsibility without stress - and detox time via animals.
That's a great idea! It sounds like they may need time alone, but I always see people walking the dogs around our animal shelter. No people to deal with.
I worked part-time jobs, and I really liked the feeling of independence, but school didn't stress me out that much.
_________________
"Yeah, I've always been myself, even when I was ill.
Only now I seem myself. And that's the important thing.
I have remembered how to seem."
-The Madness of King George
I think volunteering is the best idea, that way they won't feel the pressure to perform up to par because they're being paid yet they'll get so much experience as to what work is like. In fact, this is what I'm suggesting my 16 year old do, though she wants to waitress??? Ok, whatever, as long as she does something, LOL.
As far as socializing goes, I've always wondered why my son's best friend and he got on so well. Well his friend was recently diagnosed as aspie That figures, because all of my son's other friends are from his autism/aspergers school. Like minds get along very well. I must say we are so lucky to live in Los Angeles and have our son in a specialty school like that. He fits right in with 10 other kids in his class. Most all get along so well, so socializing actually just happened naturally. And it's funny, they're taught how to get along with other people, so they "play" very politely. It’s fun to watch.
So my suggestion is if there is any way to find other kids on the spectrum to get together with, try that and see what happens without any pressure? Even so, my kid doesn’t have many play dates. Maybe one a week with his best friend if he is lucky, and it’s plenty for him.
My only worry is there aren’t enough aspie girls… I suspect they’d make the best girlfriends for him. Where are they all hiding? I hope he finds one when he’s grown up, ‘cause I don’t think he’d like an NT girl….
No, not many Aspie girls. I have two. If your son likes anime, Dr.Who, Invader Zim, Broadway Musicals, Pokemon, and girls that aren't catty, don't gossip, have their own 'fashion sense', are loyal, direct, don't like small talk, love animals..give me a call, and we can set something up!
No, not many Aspie girls. I have two. If your son likes anime, Dr.Who, Invader Zim, Broadway Musicals, Pokemon, and girls that aren't catty, don't gossip, have their own 'fashion sense', are loyal, direct, don't like small talk, love animals..give me a call, and we can set something up!
LOL, yah, that's what he'd like (but being only 13, he isn't too into girls yet How 'bout in 5 more years?
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