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tarepanda
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 24, 2009
Posts: 32
Location: Florida
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 Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:59 am Post subject: "I can't hear you, speak up!" |
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Is this just me? I talk in what I think is a normal level, if not too loud but am often asked to repeat myself or speak up. I absolutely can't stand repeating myself and most of the time I assume the person just wasn't listening to begin with and stop talking altogether. 
Argh. |
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Silvervarg
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 26, 2009
Posts: 669
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 2:11 am Post subject: Re: "I can't hear you, speak up!" |
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| tarepanda wrote: | Is this just me? I talk in what I think is a normal level, if not too loud but am often asked to repeat myself or speak up. I absolutely can't stand repeating myself and most of the time I assume the person just wasn't listening to begin with and stop talking altogether.
Argh. |
It used to happen, then I spend a week with my grandfather and after that people told me to lower it.  So I think I've ended up in a good tune. 
Or you just unlucky to live in a place with alot of hearing problems. 
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Island
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 07, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 61
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
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| Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 2:26 am Post subject: |
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I have the same problem. I feel like I'm speaking in a normal voice, but it's not apparently. My mom says my voice is non-assertive.
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Seashell
Raven
Joined: Jun 25, 2007
Posts: 121
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| Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 4:23 am Post subject: |
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| I'm often told to speak up as well. I think I forget that other people's ears are further from my mouth than my ears are, so the fact that I can hear myself doesn't mean that other people can. |
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tomamil
What the #$*!?
Joined: May 14, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 1458
Location: Tokyo, Japan
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| Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:50 am Post subject: |
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often, before i speak, i decide to take special care to talk slowly, clearly and louder, because people complain that they don't hear what i am saying. so i am careful to speak loud and clear and even so they literally interrupt me in the middle of the sentence asking me to repeat myself.
and that drives me crazy, because i am careful to talk loud and slow and clear and if they at least let me finish what i started saying they would get to understand me. but it looks like they don't listen in the first place. but i, of course, always suppose the mistake is mine.
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Aimless
infp
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 2080
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| Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 6:41 am Post subject: |
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| I had that problem and finally overcame it later in life. My son has that problem. I think you are not projecting your voice. Try speaking from your gut and not your chest. I think that was my problem plus an overdeveloped sense of privacy. I had a real fear of being overheard by people other than the one I was talking to. |
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gramirez
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 10, 2008
Posts: 1019
Location: Illinois
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| Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:09 am Post subject: |
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I have this problem, especially when talking to my mom in public, who has bad hearing. I'd rather repeat myself, than have EVERYONE around me hear me loud and clear. My mom, when at the store talking to some employee behind the counter, talks REALLY loud, and everyone within a 10 foot radius can hear ever word...I'd rather avoid that.
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barbedlotus
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 21, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 141
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| Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 9:20 pm Post subject: Re: "I can't hear you, speak up!" |
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| tarepanda wrote: | Is this just me? I talk in what I think is a normal level, if not too loud but am often asked to repeat myself or speak up. I absolutely can't stand repeating myself and most of the time I assume the person just wasn't listening to begin with and stop talking altogether.
Argh. |
Everyone is ALWAYS telling me to speak up, and most the time I can't remember what I just said or get derailed and then get all frustrated. |
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duke666
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 09, 2009
Posts: 374
Location: San Francisco
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| Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 9:33 pm Post subject: |
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I was just on a 4 day road trip with 2 friends, and they kept saying 'what'. Finally I asked them to tell me exactly why they didn't understand what I was saying, and explained that aspies often have difficulty knowing the correct volume and modulation.
They said that my voice and enunciation were exceptionally clear, and the volume was right, but what I said was unexpected, so they wanted me to repeat myself so they could try to follow my jump.
So it turned out to be the aspie associational jump. All my asides were relevant, and formed a complete pattern, but I didn't present them in a linear, coherent way. Having me repeat was their way of both checking to be sure they heard me correctly, and also making time so they could try to connect the dots.
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Daniella
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 10, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 90
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 4:21 am Post subject: |
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| Used to happen to me all the time, hehe. I adapted pretty much though. I always feel like I'm yelling now. But apparently, I'm not. |
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AnnaLemma
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 16, 2008
Posts: 390
Location: Holocene critter country
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 11:17 am Post subject: |
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| duke666 wrote: | but what I said was unexpected, so they wanted me to repeat myself so they could try to follow my jump.
So it turned out to be the aspie associational jump. All my asides were relevant, and formed a complete pattern, but I didn't present them in a linear, coherent way. Having me repeat was their way of both checking to be sure they heard me correctly, and also making time so they could try to connect the dots. |
This is a very good explanation of a phenomenon I've experienced all my life! People frequently mention that they are surprised by what I have to say, and I am pretty sure that asking me to repeat gives them some time to formulate a response. But it doesn't help that I speak very softly, too...
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Teung
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 21, 2009
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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| I hate that, too. It bugs me when I think I'm talking as loud as I can without yelling and people still tell me to speak up. For example, when doing a play or reading a speech, I try to project my voice out, but when the teacher tells me to raise my voice up, I feel like my effort is being ignored. It's also annoying when I get filmed talking and watch it afterwards, that my voice is barely audible. |
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Moose1132
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 25
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| Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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| The same exact thing happened to me all the time. It still does at times, but I've gotten better at remembering to speak louder lately. To me I feel like I'm almost yelling, but apparently it's just right. |
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SingInSilence
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 06, 2009
Posts: 135
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 11:53 pm Post subject: |
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I have a very quiet voice and I hear this constantly. But when I'm speaking at a "normal volume", I feel like I'm shouting at people. Maybe NTs just like to be yelled at 
But it might be a subconcious response to people always telling me that I sound like a man (I'm not one)/have a low voice.
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visnofskygirl
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Age: 14
Posts: 641
Location: a pLace that is sureLy far from you
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| Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2009 5:07 am Post subject: Re: "I can't hear you, speak up!" |
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| tarepanda wrote: | Is this just me? I talk in what I think is a normal level, if not too loud but am often asked to repeat myself or speak up. I absolutely can't stand repeating myself and most of the time I assume the person just wasn't listening to begin with and stop talking altogether.
Argh. |
I would just end up telling them "nevermind"...
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