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zee
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Joined: Jul 19, 2007
Posts: 1232
Location: in the dark
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 Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:56 pm Post subject: do you hate people you don't know? |
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| Sometimes I feel almost normal, but then I remember things that haunt me. One is how I sometimes feel intense dislike for people I barely know, or don't know at all. Like this one girl in college who was nice to me, but I would always glare at her and secretly hated her, and I don't even remember why. Maybe I was jealous of her, or maybe I thought she was patronizing towards me or something. Or another time I really hated JK Rowling, even though I haven't read any of her books, I was just so sick of hearing about her that I would feel angry whenever she was discussed on TV or in articles. I also hate people who have jobs I would like for myself, which I guess is jealousy, but it feels more like just hatred, and I feel like I'm a horrible person. |
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Homer_Bob
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 06, 2009
Age: 21
Posts: 850
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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| I understand what your saying. I really cannot hate anyone who is nice to me however because that's not very often and I'll take any kindness I can get(if the person is being phony nice, then that's a whole different issue however because who doesn't hate phonies). Nevertheless, I have hated others I haven't known. I hate loud mouthed, obnoxious people in public and I don't know them. I hate people if they annoy me, and I might not know them personality. I also sometimes hate people because of the way they live or what they do to be honest. I know I shouldn't because it's not my business. However, I cannot help how I feel. I keep feelings like these inside and as long as I do that, there wont be any problems. |
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exhausted
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2009
Posts: 645
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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i think i know what you're talking about. i struggle with it too. people are always accusing me of frowning at them, etc.--a lot of times i'm not even aware of it. when i'm in social settings with lots of people, most assume i don't like them. sometimes i think it's just a safety mechanism--a way of keeping people at a safe distance. at other times, it may be an expression of genuine dislike.
and in fact, when i am in large group settings, i am pretty unhappy. everything looks like a "clique" to me---whether it really is one or not. at least, this is true in large groups of people off-the-spectrum. i feel clumsy, most of the conversation makes little sense to me. small talk is something i can't do, and at times even agitates me. social politics---the "who-can-be-the-most-charming"--that only wears me out. i start feeling resentful. i rarely (if ever) go to NT gatherings any more.
i do live in a very gentle town, though. maybe that sounds kind of cheesy, but it's true. people smile (genuinely) and wave quite a bit. even though i'm still slow to socialize here, this seems to have been helpful. i find myself frowning a lot less. i don't have a sense of "social politics" here. |
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Mapler
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Oct 14, 2008
Age: 16
Posts: 175
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I hate it when random people I don't know say hi to me. I give them a slightly confused look that says "who are you?" |
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Fidget
Supporting Member
Joined: Jun 30, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 1027
Location: Illinois, US
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| Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 12:57 am Post subject: |
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| I get extremely jealous of people I barely know. If they're charismatic and trendy and good looking, everything I'd like to be, I start to resent them. It also makes me feel like a horrible person... |
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luvsterriers
Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 03, 2009
Posts: 434
Location: Fairfax, VA
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| Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:04 am Post subject: |
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I feel same way. I know someone who is a surgeon. She has no learning disability and no autism. So life for her is simple. She's 31 just like I am. Her dad is also a medical doctor as well. So I just believe that people who are medical doctors have the best lives because they have successful careers. They don't have to worry about money at all because they are making well over 100K a year. Plus they are intelligent to be medical doctors. I do know the woman who is a surgeon. I have known her a long time. But basically I believe ALL medical doctors are happy because of their intelligence. In fact I think anyone without learning disability or autism are way happier.
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AceOfSpades
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 12, 2006
Age: 18
Posts: 504
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| Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 12:50 am Post subject: |
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| I'm no Freud, but it sounds like some jealously that's connected to something in your unconscious mind. |
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Tim_Tex
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 30
Posts: 34229
Location: Houston, Texas (interim)
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| Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 12:56 am Post subject: |
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It isn't in my nature to feel that way, especially with someone I don't know.
I am not one to show hatred for people. Of course I can disapprove of some things people do, but I could never hate anyone.
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 2908
Location: North West United States
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| Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 2:03 am Post subject: |
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| I'm the same way. I sometimes feel contempt for random people based on how they look or how they talk. I also feel strong dislike for overly happy/gregarious people. When I hear people laughing like hyenas I secretly shoot them a dirty look. I generally hide these feelings pretty well though. |
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Yagaloth
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 27, 2006
Posts: 360
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| Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:14 am Post subject: |
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Wow, nothing like any of the above.
Sometimes I do take an instant dislike to a stranger for some reason I can't immediately put a finger on, though - something "sends up a red flag", and it may take me a few days or weeks before I realize that that person reminds me of someone, or put an emphasis on saying or doing something that didn't seem right to me. I suppose that's normal for anyone, though. |
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Shebakoby
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 06, 2009
Age: 36
Posts: 778
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| Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:40 am Post subject: |
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| Me, I actually don't 'hate' people. Especially not for no reason. The best I can muster is a dislike and wariness, but I don't waste a lot of energy on that thing we call hate. I was exposed to way too much of it as a child and the world needs less of it. |
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anna-banana
indifferent peapod
Joined: Aug 31, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 5598
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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I wouldn't use the word "hate" but it's undeniably true that I only like the people I already know. I'm extremely sceptical towards new people and I usually don't look at them or interact with them until I get comfortable enough around them, which usually takes quite a while (from what I've noticed, the time it takes me to get used to people and feel comfortable in their presence > time it takes most people to form a negative opinion about me  )
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willa
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 16, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 885
Location: between bannings.
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| Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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| anna-banana wrote: | | from what I've noticed, the time it takes me to get used to people and feel comfortable in their presence > time it takes most people to form a negative opinion about me |
Aint that the truth! Long before I'm comfortable enough to be openly friendly with people they've since decided i'm too anti-social and unfriendly.
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“It's a sad thing not to have friends, but it is even sadder not to have enemies.” - El Che |
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Cad
Blue Jay
Joined: May 18, 2009
Posts: 75
Location: In the lab
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| Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:13 am Post subject: |
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| I know what you mean. I judge/read people wrongly which causes me to think that 50% of people i haven't met hate me when i usually find out they don't. People think I'm intimidating and mean, even though im the softest person in the world lol |
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