How do NTs feel empathy/sympathy?

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my thought pattern always starts with me taking in the situation and thinking about it logically and thinking about people's motives in it. often to feel bad for something, i have to think back to when the situation happened to me. or something id imagine similar. then i take those feelings and project them on the other person, in a way. so i can get an idea of how they feel. worry for other people seems almost learned. it's wierd. if someone falls down and gets a bloody nose, i think "well, they arent seriously injured, they will be better in a couple minutes" i never really intuitively feel awful. if the risk is greater than i worry more, though.
but sometimes i can get almost automatic empathy with people i am close to, or some events, like those children who grew up into adults locked in a basement all their lives.

is this how an NT or AS would acheive empathy? i apologize for all my self centered questions...it's just a diagnosis is sort of distant at the moment, and whetehr i have AS or not is killing me!

The way in which you described how to understand another person's feelings, by projecting how you had felt in a similar situation onto the other person, is exactly how I learned how to understand other people's emotions. The more often you do it, the earlier you start, and the more broad your own experiences are, the more you'll be able to do this in a variety of situations and in a more-or-less seamless way. I don't think this is necessarily how an NT achieves empathy, as I think they have a tendency to be a lot more naturally gifted in this area, but I think it's a reasonably effective way for AS folks to achieve something very nearly approximating it.

Yes that's what I do too. If it didn't happen to me in the past I don't feel anything for it. Makes me feel selfish but I try to feel something, I just can't.

id always felt my social interactions and empathy patterns were "learned"...even if i couldnt pinpoint why i thought that. i figured since i dont seem to have many problems in that area with people i'm close to, must be because i simply really take interest in people. i love to be the observer. like whenever someone talks, i watch the listener, because i'm so interested in seing how their face moves in reaction. (makes me seem a bit wierd, perhaps, if im caught :S) and i tend to imitate what i see...soo yeah.

but that's wierd, if NTs dont actually think the way i do. because empathy usually seems to involve thinking power on my part.

and dont think you're selfish, dustintorch. . you can still feel sympathy for them, if youd never experienced the situation yourself.

It doesn't have anything to do with my own experiences. If it is sorrow I feel it strongly. Any torturing especially children and animals I cannot stand. I avoid news and even movie trailers that even mention these things.
For happiness I need to stand physically close to that person.

m-hmm you're not the only one

For an NT point of view:

From what I understand, sympathy is a feeling you have when someone else is experiencing something you yourself have experienced before, so you totally understand what they are going through. Empathy is when you have not experienced that situation, but you can imagine what it is like.

I cannot stand to watch reality TV shows like Jackass for example, when it shows people hurting themselves. Even if the behavior is stupid and they deserve it. My husband on the other hand thinks it's hilarious. I care about people in general, and if I see a person hurt I automatically imagine how I would feel if that happened to me. That is why I can't watch that stuff. It's an emotional feeling, and for me it's as automatic as anger or laughter. It isn't something that I really think about. If I see a total stranger walking down the street trip over a curb and fall on their face, the first thing I do is wince thinking "man, that must have hurt". I don't really have to know or care about that specific person. Then I would proceed to help them up if I see that they are struggling. Most people just walk on by, but I can't do it. For me, it's an automatic feeling I can't control. Sometimes I feel it's a curse.

There are times that I feel empathy/sympathy for someone but I don't care. That's a different situation. I feel their pain, but I don't care for whatever reason. Animals and children make me feel things stronger than a typical adult, probably because I think they are more innocent.

. when i see a stranger fall, i laugh as first instinct. because it's like slapstick. but then i feel bad after they seem to be in pain.
i LOVE jackass, lol. XD where they slingshot the midget into a bunch of trees, that's funny. XD

I'm probably more NT than AS, and empathy happens for me more in the way MommyJones described it. I don't think about it, I just feel it. It's probably a similar process to that described in the OP, just short cutted, without the conscious evaluation, its more automatic, and I don't have to know or care about the person to feel it. Normally.

Now, with the silly stuff, like Aunt Libby's hang nail, that will depend on knowing the person and having a sense of how it uniquely feels to them. Without knowing people from this forum, for example, I would have seen and thus felt to a degree the pain but not really understood someone hiding from a loud noise or experiencing some similar sensory issue. Now its totally automatic when in an overwhelming situation to just "know" my son may be having trouble, and shelter him. I'll notice other kids having an issue with it, too. So knowledge and experience does play a part.