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Spokane_Girl
There's no crying in baseball
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 8647
Location: Rockford (hometown Oregon)
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 Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:43 pm Post subject: Do people really see us as children? |
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In the movie Adam, Beth views Adam as a child and if I rememeber correctly, she calls him a child. I have even read other people's opinions about the movie and some of them said he was like a child and stuff but to me he wasn't child like or like one, he was an adult and I didn't see anything that would make him a child. So I figured maybe its him not reading people well or talking about his obsessions made him one to normal people's perspective.
So if we don't follow their standards, they see us as children? Do people view you as a child due to this? I don't know if anyone today sees me as a kid. But if older adults do, then it's because of my young age because lot of older adults see young adults as kids. Even 70's year old adults see 50's year olds as children because they were adult when the 50's year old was born. My parents even called my husband a kid and I said "he's 32" and they said they are old enough to be their parents. Well they were in their 20's when he was born so of course he is like a kid to them because of his young age. But Beth was about the same age as Adam so she wasn't that far from his age and she still viewed him as a child.
My definition of child like is immature interests like kid shows, toys, going to play grounds. I didn't see anything child like about Adam. In fact he didn't seem that bad and I would say he is mild but his symptoms were worse than mine but yet I saw a few normal people saying he was very bad and had this or that and I didn't see that in the movie. Even my own husband thought I was that bad but not as bad as him and said his symptoms were exaggerated. I told him he was probably diagnosed late so he didn't get to know sooner what was wrong with him and read about his condition sooner to see what he had to work on and what not do and he didn't go to the autism forums to learn from other peoples experiance like I did so that's why I got better. I would have been worse off if I didn't go here or read about my condition. So the young aspies are real lucky to be diagnosed sooner and are lucky to get diagnosed in their early childhood and stuff because then they get the help they need and will be better when they are teens or adults and their life might not be so hard because they had learned the skilled and learned to cope. In fact at the end of Adam, he was more normal and seemed less socially awkward but hey he got a job where he can talk about his obsession so of course that would make him appear normal and people won't know he is different. That was how much he had learned over the past year. But it was obvious he and Beth kept in touch because she knew his address and sent her book to him to share.
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whitetiger
Passionate Advocate
Joined: Feb 04, 2009
Age: 40
Posts: 1509
Location: Oregon
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:48 pm Post subject: |
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I haven't seen the movie, Adam, yet, but I am definitely a "big kid." I want to play all the time before taking care of responsibilities. I sometimes space out completely what I'm supposed to do. I can't even find my way around half the time without taking a taxi or using an escort, a friend. I'm working really hard on self-discipline right now, and I am seeing improvements.
Couple that with the blurting things out, social faux pas, etc. Whew! When I am really "into" a project, I do a professional, adult job. I also can present to the outside world as poised and articulate and I am organized with the things I like to do. It's the things I don't like to do that I act like a child about.
My interests are also childlike in many ways: computer games, board games, dancing around to children's music, etc.
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Xelebes
Gigantoraptor
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Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 1416
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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On the occasion, yes. It happens that I will sometimes get treated as a child. I don't like it but then again it doesn't happen that much to really bother me.
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Diagnosis: Asperger's, Tourette's
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Ruchard
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 27, 2008
Posts: 357
Location: South London
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| People see me has a child all the time I don't know why though may be I look younger then I am. |
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poopylungstuffing
doh-skoh-bee-doh
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 34
Posts: 6406
Location: Super Happy Fun Land, TX
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Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 2154
Location: East Sussex, UK
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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I would call a person a child if they did things commonly that children do. I won't count an adult playing with their child if that child has no friends around at that time. Of course, to call that person a child, they would have to have lived a predetermined length of time to be referred to as an adult in a physical form, ie end of growth, end of puberty, etc I won't use age as this changes from place to place. 13,16,18,21,25, whatever ...maybe even 12 where child fares for travel are required to be paid full price for (which is where I base some examples)
Acting like a child for short time I would refer to as just childish. |
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seaequalsdancer
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 27, 2009
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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I think with the movie Adam the context of that scene is important. He just found out that she lied to him about a previous event, during which they went to see a play and ran into her parents. She pretended like she totally didn't know they were going to be there but he found out that she did and he was extremely upset that she lied to him so he has this total meltdown where he starts pushing everything off the desk and banging into everything. While she made it a point to learn about Asperger's and be understanding, at that point she was also frustrated with him and when angry I guess a meltdown like that that is basically going to look like a childlike temper tantrum and it prompted her to call him a child. She was speaking with pure emotion at that moment and wasn't really take into consideration his AS, and rightfully so because she has the right to be frustrated as well. It was a comment made during a very heated moment. It wasn't really due to his interests or anything.
I thought his Asperger's was exaggerated personally, just because he seemed to be the picture of a stereotype. As in he fit like every criteria to an insane degree. I'm not saying there aren't people like this out there and I know the actor who played Adam took a lot of time and care into researching the role. It didn't bother me because it is a common thing to do in films. But while I related to a lot of his behaviors and confusion, at times it was just too much.
Also I got the impression he received a diagnosis when relatively young. I know they mention nothing about it but he seemed extremely self-aware. His Asperger's also disabled him in a lot of ways, as it seemed like he never in his life took the subway or train (living in NYC I don't know how this is possible), his routines were extremely strict, he probably wouldn't even consider learning how to drive, and etc. It seemed like something his family was definitely aware of it for awhile if he lived that way even at the age of 28, especially due to their detailed chore schedule, consideration to his need for routine, and how protective and understanding his father's friend was to him. However they left so much out. Like obviously he had to have gone to university due to the kind of work he did, but how he could he have done so successfully being as afraid as he was to go to areas outside of his comfort zone? I would have liked to have known personally. Did someone drive him to an from class each day? Did he live next door to some university? I don't know. But I think even if he wasn't diagnosed since childhood that he also wasn't newly diagnosed.
However to answer your question, personally I think people close to me view me as a child a lot because of my emotional deficiencies and my reaction to a lot of social situations. I think the extent to which so many things overwhelm me to the point where I just can't really handle it makes me appear very childlike. I also am not self-sufficient and I am almost 30. I honestly feel like a child a lot times and I hate it because I would like to be able to function in ways similar to my peers. I want to be able to have relationships, have a family, have a professional job, live in a nice apartment, be financially responsible, be able to take care of my hygiene, appearance, and household chores properly and regularly, and so on. |
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EnglishInvader
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 15, 2009
Age: 28
Posts: 309
Location: Hertfordshire, UK
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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People tend to treat me like a child but, in my case, it's not without justification -- I don't work, I don't have any children, I don't even have a driving licence. If you want adult status you have to take adult responsibility. On the whole, if being regarded as a child means I get to live my life on my own terms, I'm happy with the trade off  .
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-9
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 11, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 70
Location: West Lafayette or Plainfield, IN
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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| I went through that a lot in high school. Not nearly as much in college, but I've only been there a few months so far. |
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cyberscan
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 744
Location: Near Panama, City Florida
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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I've been told that I have the mentality of a 14 year old even though I drive, work, etc. I've pretty much take it in stride.
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I am AUTISTIC - Always Unique, Totally Interesting, Straight Talking, Intelligently Conversational. |
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visagrunt
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 17, 2009
Age: 42
Posts: 350
Location: Vancouver, BC
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| Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:10 am Post subject: |
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I have all the outward aspects of adulthood: a job, a house, a life partner, etc.
Internally, I am quiet childlike. Although my theory (entirely anecdotal, with neither research nor peer review!) is that all men are hardwired to enjoy childlike play in middle age as a way of promoting a positive relationship with their children. I figure I like Legos because I'm a 42 year old man; not because I'm an Aspie.
Don't burst my bubble!
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ColdBlooded
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 07, 2009
Age: 21
Posts: 370
Location: New Bern, North Carolina
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| Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:07 am Post subject: |
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It seems to me that a lot of people treat me kind of like a kid. I think it's mostly because things in social situations so easily go over my head, so i probably come off as kind of a confused child in an adult body sometimes. Plus, i can get amused easily by the sort of things that amuse kids sometimes. Plus, anyone who'd rather do something like spin a coin around on a table than talk about relationship drama automatically gets seen as some kind of immature and naive child, it seems.  |
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PlatedDrake
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 26, 2009
Age: 29
Posts: 461
Location: Piedmont Region, NC, USA
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| Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:58 am Post subject: |
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| whitetiger wrote: | I haven't seen the movie, Adam, yet, but I am definitely a "big kid." I want to play all the time before taking care of responsibilities. I sometimes space out completely what I'm supposed to do. I can't even find my way around half the time without taking a taxi or using an escort, a friend. I'm working really hard on self-discipline right now, and I am seeing improvements.
Couple that with the blurting things out, social faux pas, etc. Whew! When I am really "into" a project, I do a professional, adult job. I also can present to the outside world as poised and articulate and I am organized with the things I like to do. It's the things I don't like to do that I act like a child about.
My interests are also childlike in many ways: computer games, board games, dancing around to children's music, etc. |
Eh, the older some people get, the more down they become. Its the age old issue between old and young. Old envy the young because there is so much life ahead, and the young envy the old for their wisdom and experience. Besides, there is nothing wrong with keeping your child side, but many adults (ages 30+) think its a hindrance, or not worth keeping just for age sake. What they dont realize is that the kid in us is responsible for our creativity, and wonder about the world . . . but, they traded it off for drama, deception, bills, politics . . . in essence, my signature sums it up. 
That, along with the fact that we on the spectrum are emotionally immature, seeing as how our emotional age is half our chronological, or less (im guessing my emotional age is 15 or younger, and im currently 29 years old).
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
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CerebralDreamer
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 382
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| Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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| I get that feeling very often, and it's unsettling. One of the ways my family would cut me down throughout my teen years was to label me as a child. Every time I get a mild impression that someone sees me as a child, it's very upsetting. |
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ForsakenEagle
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 12, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 408
Location: Riding the theta waves
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| Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Some people may look at me as a child because I am shy and reserved, but I don't give a ****. I look around at kids my age and see them being disruptive, directionless, and self-righteous. I feel years ahead of my actual age. |
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