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ColdBlooded
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 07, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 370
Location: New Bern, North Carolina
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 Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:23 pm Post subject: Do You Get Told To "Smile" All The Time? |
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This has happened my whole life. Some will tell me to smile, or some variation of that, commenting on my usually-neutral expression: "Be happy!," "awww, what's wrong?," "It's not that bad!," "cheer up!," "having a bad day?," etc. It took me a long time to even understand why as a kid, because i usually felt completely fine when people would say these things, and i didn't know how i could do things any differently. Nowadays i understand that i can often be kind of flat with my facial expression, and that's why i get these comments, but it still gets annoying when all i'm doing is what feels natural, just relaxing my face.
Even when i've watched tv shows and documentaries about Autistic Spectrum people, my mom usually says "even the kids on this show smile a lot more than you do!"
Last edited by ColdBlooded on Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:32 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Aurore
Dingo Lycanthrope
Joined: Dec 07, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 1366
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:29 pm Post subject: |
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I have a similar problem. People often tell me to cheer up or smile when I feel absolutely fine, or they freak out and try to calm me down if I am just minorly annoyed. My face seems to convey sadness or anger all the time, regardless of the emotion experienced or lack thereof. The only exception to this is when I am delighted, at which point I look disturbingly happy.
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mightyzebra
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 26, 2007
Posts: 930
Location: Somewhere not over the rainbow
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Aurore wrote: | | I have a similar problem. People often tell me to cheer up or smile when I feel absolutely fine, or they freak out and try to calm me down if I am just minorly annoyed. My face seems to convey sadness or anger all the time, regardless of the emotion experienced or lack thereof. The only exception to this is when I am delighted, at which point I look disturbingly happy. |
Yeah, I sort of have that, but people don't usually tell me to smile (that might just be the soceity I'm in though...) Often I hurt myself and my mum becomes REALLY worried and I have to assure her: MUM I'M FINE, I'M FINE. It's just a mother thing...
P.S Were you happy when you had your profile photo taken? (Like the hat!  )
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AMD
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Sep 19, 2009
Posts: 198
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:03 pm Post subject: |
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You should smile more, You should smile more, You should smile more, You should smile more, You should smile more!
I have also come across people asking me "what's wrong." And these aren't just close family members.
This is one of the things that make me so mad. Of course when i am told this, i do smile, but it is not a natural smile. It is an embarrassed smile with the ineternal thoughts of please go away and leave me alone! I have gotten this as long as i can remember! I mean, seriously...did something funny happen that i missed? Then i would smile, or even laugh!
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Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 2154
Location: East Sussex, UK
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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"Cheer up! It might never happen!" I've heard this line so many times, I now have a come back when I find it a stupid thing to say, "It already has!" If they ask, they better be prepared 
Why is it when you smile a fraction, they think it's going overboard or losing control. It's either, "not happy enough" or "overboard with possible implications" there seems to be no middle ground with the majority of people. (not singling out NT's here)
Anyway, I do love a nice natural face. I find a smile to be fake. A non-smile picture of someone is far more ... appealing to me as it has that gothic/dark look that I love so |
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Pernicious-Knid
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 05, 2009
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Aurore wrote: | | I have a similar problem. People often tell me to cheer up or smile when I feel absolutely fine, or they freak out and try to calm me down if I am just minorly annoyed. My face seems to convey sadness or anger all the time, regardless of the emotion experienced or lack thereof. The only exception to this is when I am delighted, at which point I look disturbingly happy. |
Same here, I thought my default expression was somehow neutral when in fact people thought I was pissed off about something. |
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SINsister
the towering inferno
Joined: May 26, 2005
Posts: 1301
Location: six feet over
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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AHAHAHA! 
I have to smile and be completely "fake" at work, otherwise I'd lose my job. Ordinarily, though, I don't smile much. Over the decades, even random strangers have essentially *ordered* me to smile - offensive! What, am I a mindless idiot, who ought to be walking about with a nonsensical grin on her face, so that other people won't be upset or put off? Does it offend their hive-mind sensibilities? I've got no clue.
At any rate, my mom called me "Muggins" as a kid, because I apparently went around unsmiling and/or frowning all the time. I guess I do that now, too, without realizing it; several guys here at WP have remarked that I look like I'm frowning or scowling in my Flickr photos, when the expression on my face at the time was what I considered "neutral." Meh. 
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Aurore
Dingo Lycanthrope
Joined: Dec 07, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 1366
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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Glad to see I'm not alone on this issue.
| mightyzebra wrote: | | Were you happy when you had your profile photo taken? (Like the hat! ) |
I was beyond happiness. I probably should not wear it as much as I do, it's like a neon sign blaring there's something wrong with me psychologically.
Unless I'm genuinely happy though...my smiles in photos sort of fail.
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"The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls..." |
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JasonGone
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 22, 2009
Age: 35
Posts: 46
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:03 pm Post subject: |
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always
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Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.
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IMForeman
Raven
Joined: Oct 05, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 109
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Worst thing for me regarding smiling is photos when people ask me to smile. I don't photograph well |
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JasonGone
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 22, 2009
Age: 35
Posts: 46
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:14 pm Post subject: |
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| IMForeman wrote: | | Worst thing for me regarding smiling is photos when people ask me to smile. I don't photograph well |
oh yeah!!! i shut down quicker with a camera pointed at me than anything else. now that i am traveling with a friend that is a photographer and video geek, this should be interesting.
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Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 35
Posts: 22541
Location: 1965 London with Ruby the Routemaster by my side
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:18 pm Post subject: |
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I've also had to deal with that, my entire life. It gets to be annoying, after a while.
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visagrunt
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 17, 2009
Age: 42
Posts: 353
Location: Vancouver, BC
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:08 pm Post subject: |
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(Trying to think of an original response)
Invariably!
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_Square_Peg_
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 30, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 153
Location: in a round hole
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:18 pm Post subject: |
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Geez I absolutely HATE being told to smile!
It's like everyone expects you to be happy all the time, which is a load of crap. I don't care how optimistic someone is, nobody smiles and is happy all the time. And just because I'm not smiling, doesn't mean I'm unhappy.
What's worse is when they don't just tell you to smile, but actually try to make you smile. My forced smiles always look horrible. That's why I hate photos... and working in retail. You always have to smile for the damn customers (even when they give you an attitude.) |
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bonuspoints
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 24, 2009
Posts: 232
Location: Washington state
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| Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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Constantly while I am at work (I work retail as well). My coworker "friends" enjoy watching me when my customer turns to leave because the smile drops the instant they turn to leave.
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Do I get bonus points if I act like I care? - Hugh Laurie in House |
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