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EaglesSayMeow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 02, 2009
Posts: 26
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 Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:33 am Post subject: Tell the truth? |
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So, my parents are going to a parent teacher conference on Thursday, and so my homeroom teacher wants to talk to me about how I'm adjusting to my new school (I just recently moved to a different country, and therefore started a new school in August). Now, I don't know what to tell him. I've tried talking to parents, teachers, etc for ages, and nobody seems to understand my social problems. I just recently started suspecting I might have Aspergers. All the symptoms, etc, fit, but I'm bad at bringing things up with my parents. Gosh, it took me three months to work up the courage to tell them my bra was two sizes too small. I'll never be able to tell them. Way too shy for my own good. But, back to my question, should I:
Tell the truth, that I'm having problems understanding the instructions in my classes because the teachers don't explain things well, I'm having trouble getting along with my classmates, and I'm terribly homesick
(Pros: honesty, maybe a teacher will finally understand there might be something wrong with this situation & take it up with my parents, Cons: I'll probably just end up crying and make myself stick out more because of it, and at a new school I really don't want to do that)
or just suck it up, hope that someday I'll work up the courage to tell my parents and they'll finally understand how I feel, and just lie through this conference, claim that I'm doing fine and made a few friends (Actually, just people I sit with at lunch because they don't bother me or talk about pointless gossip while I try to read my book) and just deal through this year until I can go back to my old school, where the problems weren't quite so bad
(Pros: I won't end up crying miserably during the school day, I won't be subjected to another idiotic school councilor who understands nothing and just makes me end up crying, Cons: I'll be lying, this would be a perfect opportunity to talk to my parents, and the teacher might see through it all anyway, just adding to the questions I don't know how to answer)
Suggestions?
Edit: I'm in 8th grade/year 9 depending on the school system |
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Zeek
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 06, 2009
Posts: 140
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 8:53 pm Post subject: Tell the Truth |
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If your having trouble saying it in front of your parents just talk to the teach or failing that, your school counsellor. I understand this shits hard to tell people but you NEED to talk to someone. Otherwise your life just ends up absolute crap. Sorry for the obsenities but that's how I feel
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A quote from Theordor Seuss Geisel
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those that mind, don't matter." |
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EaglesSayMeow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 02, 2009
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:36 am Post subject: |
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1. I'm new. I don't even know who or where the school counsellor is!
2. I told my parents. Well, my mom. She went through the whole "you can always talk to me" speech, but didn't address anything at all I said about AS
3. I have someone to talk to. That's what long distance phone calls are for. Granted, the opposite side of the earth is a bit too long a distance for me, but it'll have to do. |
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Eilidh
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 24, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 30
Location: In my own wee world
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| Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:51 am Post subject: |
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Firstly,
you can always ask someone where the school councelor is. I KNOW it's hard, I have a lot of trouble asking for help, too. You'll find though, that if you ask where the school councelor is, the person is not quite as scary as you might fear. If the person you talk to first doesn't kow, ask someone else like your teacher. they won't bite your head off even though it feels like they might sometimes.  I'm speaking from experience.
They didn't find out that I had AS for a LONG time because I'm also visually impaired and they attributed A LOT of things to that, but they got corrected... Anyway, sorry for the tangent...
Ask the teacher if there's a way that you can talk to the school councelor, Tell her that you're having some issues that you'd rather discuss with the councelor rather than the teacher, and then **MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR YOU TO SPEAK TO HER** or him, depending. I can honestly say I've been there, but if you let things keep going instead of getting things straightened out now, it can be worse for you in the long run. Did you have these same issues at your previous school, by the way? that could be a lot of the problem for you if you didn't. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but that could be a factor in your situation since you only started there in augast.
Hugs,
~Eilidh
*prounounced-Aily!*
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The wheels keep turning
The road stretches north and south
The wheels keep moving
Like the globe they keep turning around
Runrig: An Cuibhle Mor English Translation |
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EaglesSayMeow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 02, 2009
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Eilidh wrote: | Firstly,
you can always ask someone where the school councelor is. I KNOW it's hard, I have a lot of trouble asking for help, too. You'll find though, that if you ask where the school councelor is, the person is not quite as scary as you might fear. If the person you talk to first doesn't kow, ask someone else like your teacher. they won't bite your head off even though it feels like they might sometimes. I'm speaking from experience.
They didn't find out that I had AS for a LONG time because I'm also visually impaired and they attributed A LOT of things to that, but they got corrected... Anyway, sorry for the tangent...
Ask the teacher if there's a way that you can talk to the school councelor, Tell her that you're having some issues that you'd rather discuss with the councelor rather than the teacher, and then **MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR YOU TO SPEAK TO HER** or him, depending. I can honestly say I've been there, but if you let things keep going instead of getting things straightened out now, it can be worse for you in the long run. Did you have these same issues at your previous school, by the way? that could be a lot of the problem for you if you didn't. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but that could be a factor in your situation since you only started there in augast.
Hugs,
~Eilidh
*prounounced-Aily!* |
Yeah, I guess I had the same issues, but they weren't nearly as problematic. Most of this stems from my complete social incompetence, and back at home everyone knew me well enough to ignore that. And, I knew where the councelor was. I talked to her one year. Didn't help at all. I talked to somebody outside of school three years ago. Didn't help at all. I came to the conclusion that it's pointless. I talked to my best friend. Helped a lot. Why should I try again this year? |
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willmark
Velociraptor
Joined: May 14, 2009
Age: 59
Posts: 407
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| Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 12:57 pm Post subject: |
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| EaglesSayMeow wrote: | | Yeah, I guess I had the same issues, but they weren't nearly as problematic. Most of this stems from my complete social incompetence, and back at home everyone knew me well enough to ignore that. And, I knew where the councelor was. I talked to her one year. Didn't help at all. I talked to somebody outside of school three years ago. Didn't help at all. I came to the conclusion that it's pointless. I talked to my best friend. Helped a lot. Why should I try again this year? |
I am not sure what country you have moved to, but in the US, on nearly every college campus there is a special department for counseling and assistance for people with issues or handicaps that cause them to have difficulty in school. Maybe you need to see if you have access to that kind of counselor. Just a suggestion. |
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EaglesSayMeow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 02, 2009
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 10:18 am Post subject: |
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| willmark wrote: | | EaglesSayMeow wrote: | | Yeah, I guess I had the same issues, but they weren't nearly as problematic. Most of this stems from my complete social incompetence, and back at home everyone knew me well enough to ignore that. And, I knew where the councelor was. I talked to her one year. Didn't help at all. I talked to somebody outside of school three years ago. Didn't help at all. I came to the conclusion that it's pointless. I talked to my best friend. Helped a lot. Why should I try again this year? |
I am not sure what country you have moved to, but in the US, on nearly every college campus there is a special department for counseling and assistance for people with issues or handicaps that cause them to have difficulty in school. Maybe you need to see if you have access to that kind of counselor. Just a suggestion. |
Well, I found the school counselor. I might go. If I'm really desperate. Only trouble is, the big sign telling me where it is claims that it is next door to the nurse. Now I just have to find the nurse. I hate this place.
PS: I moved to Hong Kong. Yes, that's in China. Yes, I can still go on facebook. Yes, that is the most commonly asked questions when I tell people. I have no clue why. |
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willmark
Velociraptor
Joined: May 14, 2009
Age: 59
Posts: 407
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| Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 10:53 am Post subject: |
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| EaglesSayMeow wrote: | | willmark wrote: | | EaglesSayMeow wrote: | | Yeah, I guess I had the same issues, but they weren't nearly as problematic. Most of this stems from my complete social incompetence, and back at home everyone knew me well enough to ignore that. And, I knew where the councelor was. I talked to her one year. Didn't help at all. I talked to somebody outside of school three years ago. Didn't help at all. I came to the conclusion that it's pointless. I talked to my best friend. Helped a lot. Why should I try again this year? |
I am not sure what country you have moved to, but in the US, on nearly every college campus there is a special department for counseling and assistance for people with issues or handicaps that cause them to have difficulty in school. Maybe you need to see if you have access to that kind of counselor. Just a suggestion. |
Well, I found the school counselor. I might go. If I'm really desperate. Only trouble is, the big sign telling me where it is claims that it is next door to the nurse. Now I just have to find the nurse. I hate this place.
PS: I moved to Hong Kong. Yes, that's in China. Yes, I can still go on facebook. Yes, that is the most commonly asked questions when I tell people. I have no clue why. |
Well I'm not a common person. I was much more interested in how you felt, and if I could suggest anything that would help you feel less frustrated. I wish you well. |
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EaglesSayMeow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 02, 2009
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 3:03 am Post subject: |
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| willmark wrote: | | EaglesSayMeow wrote: | | willmark wrote: | | EaglesSayMeow wrote: | | Yeah, I guess I had the same issues, but they weren't nearly as problematic. Most of this stems from my complete social incompetence, and back at home everyone knew me well enough to ignore that. And, I knew where the councelor was. I talked to her one year. Didn't help at all. I talked to somebody outside of school three years ago. Didn't help at all. I came to the conclusion that it's pointless. I talked to my best friend. Helped a lot. Why should I try again this year? |
I am not sure what country you have moved to, but in the US, on nearly every college campus there is a special department for counseling and assistance for people with issues or handicaps that cause them to have difficulty in school. Maybe you need to see if you have access to that kind of counselor. Just a suggestion. |
Well, I found the school counselor. I might go. If I'm really desperate. Only trouble is, the big sign telling me where it is claims that it is next door to the nurse. Now I just have to find the nurse. I hate this place.
PS: I moved to Hong Kong. Yes, that's in China. Yes, I can still go on facebook. Yes, that is the most commonly asked questions when I tell people. I have no clue why. |
Well I'm not a common person. I was much more interested in how you felt, and if I could suggest anything that would help you feel less frustrated. I wish you well. |
Thank you. My dad finally talked to me too. Turns out they did listen. I hate this even more. Apparently my parents listen to me but my dad is always working, so it takes him a whole week to find ten minutes to talk to me. And then he's going on a business trip. For at least a week. And they wonder why I never bother to talk to them! |
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