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TB
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 06, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 174
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 Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:20 pm Post subject: Loving mr spock |
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loving mister spock is supposed to be a good book for those in a relationship with aspergers, i read a preview online from the book and i was really disapointed, it was such a depressing read i understand that i can't make a good judgement when i havent read the full book but what i want to know should i give it another try and read the full book.
what i have read only focussed on problems problems problems and always the cause was autism.
if this is what my future relationships are gonna be like it gives me a whole new perspective on so many posts in here where my first reaction always is why are they so pessimistic i gues im just not experienced enough and in 20 years ill be joining the ranting.
also after reading this i think i will stop refering to myself as an aspie because i just really cant indentify with anything in that book.
i had high hopes for this book, and to me it feels like its only message is to stay clear of aspies the relationships are just too painfull.
link to the preview
http://books.google.nl/books?id=6SvxitRnyaEC&pg=PA10&lpg=PA10&dq=loving+mister+spock+what+its+about&source=bl&ots=o__pnSC_BX&sig=BFsPsbLbEuWLjEcL2fYAQrI-YiA&hl=nl&ei=Ymv0SvrNJ4Ts-AbLxYGsBA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=9&ved=0CDAQ6AEwCA#v=onepage&q=&f=false |
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Willard
Suicide Mohel
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 1544
Location: CSA
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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I've heard of the book, don't know anything about it by reputation, but the title alone implies that everyone with AS (particularly males) are aloof, cold and emotionally detached. I wouldn't expect anything but negativity from an author who sees us that way.
There are plenty of other reasons besides AS for not wanting to become responsible for the emotional well-being of a clingy, needy human.
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"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out."
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Spokane_Girl
There's no crying in baseball
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 8651
Location: Rockford (hometown Oregon)
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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So glaring at you when you are in a conversation means "go away and shut up." Okay.
This is weird because I was told on here autistic people do good with tone of voice. The reason for me not being good at it is due to my hearing loss I had.
So I am to guess peoples ages if they guess mine?
Sounds like the lady was understanding and she liked him. I couldn't read all the pages because not all of them would load. But one of her friends told her she was in a abusive relationship. Goodness. At least the man wasn't shy when he met the woman.
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I'm a Peach
I like the high ones |
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TB
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 06, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 174
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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the pages that dont load, are taken out they let you read a couple pages and then skip a bunch.
i just want to know if its just me that i took the text the wrong way or too personal because if this is so i will try the full book otherwize i wont bother getting it. |
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ScottF
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 03, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 584
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 6:37 pm Post subject: |
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Wait, Mr Spock as in the Vulcan?
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One day you dumb, brainy smarties will look upon us and beg for mercy...and we will consider it. -Peter Griffin |
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AceOfSpades
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 12, 2006
Age: 18
Posts: 458
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Uggh, makes me cringe when people compare people with AS to Mr. Spock. It gives the impression that we're some mechanical freaks with no common sense. |
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Graelwyn
Myrrdyn
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Joined: Dec 21, 2006
Age: 34
Posts: 8667
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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| I have the book and read most of it. I am pretty indifferent to it. There are better books out there, but those are written by people with AS. 'The feeling is unmutual' is a fairly interesting one by a male. I also have a very well written book by an Australian aspie female, but I feel too lazy to get up and look at the title. |
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ruveyn
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 22, 2008
Age: 73
Posts: 4794
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 8:21 pm Post subject: |
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| AceOfSpades wrote: | | Uggh, makes me cringe when people compare people with AS to Mr. Spock. It gives the impression that we're some mechanical freaks with no common sense. |
Mr. Spock has plenty of common sense and a lot of logic. His main deficiency (compared to Capt. Kirk, for example) is his inability to get past common sense and do something counter-intuitive.
ruveyn |
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ruveyn
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 22, 2008
Age: 73
Posts: 4794
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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| AceOfSpades wrote: | | Uggh, makes me cringe when people compare people with AS to Mr. Spock. It gives the impression that we're some mechanical freaks with no common sense. |
Mr. Spock has plenty of common sense and a lot of logic. His main deficiency (compared to Capt. Kirk, for example) is his inability to get past common sense and do something counter-intuitive.
ruveyn |
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Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3854
Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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Not really; he'll do something counter-intuitive to other people if it's not counter-intuitive to him. He's just a very linear, detail-oriented thinker. Kirk is more right-brained. Think artist versus accountant.
Anyway, Spock makes a decent Aspie, but only if you remember that he's not the archetype for AS, just a decent example of how it might express itself.
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MrVulcan
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 20, 2009
Posts: 149
Location: Toronto, ON. Canada
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Willard wrote: | | I've heard of the book, don't know anything about it by reputation, but the title alone implies that everyone with AS (particularly males) are aloof, cold and emotionally detached. |
Hey! I resemble that remark! 
| ScottF wrote: | | Wait, Mr Spock as in the Vulcan? |
Yes. Not to be confused with Mr Vulcan as in me. |
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Mdyar
Sea Gull
Joined: May 29, 2009
Age: 44
Posts: 231
Location: 8 light minutes this side of the sun
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:43 am Post subject: |
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Here's how a woman can love Mr. spock http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wtkWbKvSRY 
To turn him into an N/T ....... @ 5 minute mark.
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ntgrl
Emu Egg
Joined: Sep 23, 2009
Age: 36
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:46 pm Post subject: |
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I read the book you are talking about and I personally didn't find it very helpful at all. One thing that I have learned is that having AS doesn't define everything about the person. It is just one aspect of that person. Everyone has their own personality and no two aspies are identical, just like no NTs are identical.
For example the guy with AS in the book had a routine of having sex with a random stranger that he met at bars on Saturday nights. This was obviously a big problem for his girlfriend, but that is certainly not something that every person with AS does.
What is most important I think is to realize that there are going to be communication issues in AS/NT relationships that are unique to those types of partnerships. Both people need to be patient and to trust their partner. I also think that it is very important for the NT partner to do some research on AS, but I prefer books that are more factual then those based on one individual's experience. |
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Apple_in_my_Eye
Phoenix
Joined: May 08, 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 632
Location: Youessae, on the Pacific side
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:13 pm Post subject: |
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| I read through about the first 30-40 pages, and the whole thing is based on one guy with AS. The author adds in every now and then that not all people with AS do whatever-she-just-described-him-doing, but it's still a story about him. I think it qualifies as a memoir rather than a general guide about AS-NT relationships. |
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Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3854
Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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Seriously.
Also,
| Quote: | | For example the guy with AS in the book had a routine of having sex with a random stranger that he met at bars on Saturday nights. This was obviously a big problem for his girlfriend, but that is certainly not something that every person with AS does. |
I have NEVER heard of an Aspie who did that. Going to a bar is uncommon enough, but add to that picking up a random unpredictable stranger and taking them home to your very own private place to have unpredictable sex with? This is one weird Aspie.
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Engineering student. Gamer. Christian. Asexual. Information Addict. Deal with it!
Reports from a Resident Alien:
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