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zeldapsychology
Phoenix
Joined: May 05, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 1625
Location: Florida
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 Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:19 pm Post subject: Why do we show expressions differently? |
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I made a topic about laughing incorrectly and Maggiedoll posted the following (Expressions are not always what they seem.. especially for aspies.)
So this leaves me with the question of why do we show the wrong expression. It makes since looking on it that laughing is a coping mechanism or as Maggiedoll mention perhaps being overwhelmed. So I was curious do YOU show expressions differently and what examples do you have? Thanks WP oh and Maggiedoll for your post in my laughing topic.  |
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persian85033
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 532
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Well...like say that September 11. I mean, people would get upset because I wasn't sobbing over it. Look, I am sorry it happened, that many people died, but...I'm actually relieved that I wasn't there. Not that I can't feel it, I just...weeping over it isn't going to make anyone come back. I do care, but I am also glad that I didn't see it or anything. People would say I am selfish and heartless. I'm sorry, but like I said, I'm actually glad that I or no one I know was there. |
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Maggiedoll
Loon
Joined: Jun 05, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 2125
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm.. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to reply to this or not. 
Alexithymia, for one thing.. You can't respond correctly if you have trouble distinguishing your emotions to begin with.
Unsuccessfully mimicking others might be a factor too. You see someone else acting a certain way, and you think that if you act like that, then people will respond to you in the same way that they respond to that other person. I've had a lot of issues with that.
On the laughing thing, it may also be habit. If you have a tendency to not get jokes, or not get them immediately, then after much getting told off for not having a sense of humor and whatnot, you've probably started laughing at plenty of things that you don't quite get. That can turn laughing into a reflex when you don't know how to respond to something.
Also, various stims and sensory issues can contribute to it. I recently realized that one of my biggest stims, the thing I do with my mouth, pushing air out between my back teeth, can kinda look like a smirk. It's not really a facial expression, but someone looking at me wouldn't know that.
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AmberEyes
Not a label
Joined: Sep 27, 2008
Posts: 1471
Location: The Lands where the Jumblies live
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:32 pm Post subject: |
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My guess would be that it's something to do with the mental social syncing up software in our heads.
I struggle with syncing up.
This is why I don't attend step-aerobics classes or group dance classes.
If it's harder to sync up socially with movements and expressions of other people, it's harder to develop a rapport and connect with them.
It's wonderful if you want to go off on your own separate track and be creative/show off.
It's not so good if you want to stick with a group of people and follow what they're doing.
Also, there may be different non-verbal dialects or temperamental variations that are inherited.
Perhaps people with similar non-verbal dialects and ways of communicating connect more easily.
I've certainly met people who have seemed like 'family' to me and it was very easy to talk with them. Perhaps because they communicated in the same way that I did. People that I can connect with straight away are in the minority, I've only met a very few people like this.
Perhaps people prefer to associate with and talk to others that have a similar non-verbal dialect to them, and feel more at ease.
A "stiff and peculiar gaze" or "odd facial expressions" wouldn't seem that "peculiar" if you see it in the mirror every morning, in your family or in your best friend.
It only becomes "odd" when you're surrounded by people with different facial expressions and styles of communication. |
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chelischili7
Hummingbird
Joined: Nov 11, 2009
Posts: 23
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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| I cannot speak for the rest of you, but I think our intensity rubs people the wrong way. Aspergians have a tendency to really focus on something whether those are ceiling tiles, an odd object around us, a concept either foreign to us or one that we are interested in, and so on. I have a tendency to squint my forehead, point my chin downward, and completely dilate my eyes when I'm concentrating on something. Many people will think I am not understanding the material so they will ask me if I have a question, or they think I am angry. I am not sure if this happens to others, but it is rather different than others. |
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ottorocketforever
Sea Gull
Joined: Sep 29, 2009
Age: 28
Posts: 202
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 8:21 pm Post subject: |
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| I really don't like it when people tell me to smile, when I am perfectly content. |
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Maggiedoll
Loon
Joined: Jun 05, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 2125
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 8:38 pm Post subject: |
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| chelischili7 wrote: | | I cannot speak for the rest of you, but I think our intensity rubs people the wrong way. Aspergians have a tendency to really focus on something whether those are ceiling tiles, an odd object around us, a concept either foreign to us or one that we are interested in, and so on. I have a tendency to squint my forehead, point my chin downward, and completely dilate my eyes when I'm concentrating on something. Many people will think I am not understanding the material so they will ask me if I have a question, or they think I am angry. I am not sure if this happens to others, but it is rather different than others. |
Oddly enough that gave me really vivid memories of ceiling tiles.. lots and lots of ceiling tiles. Like the institutional ones in schools and stuff, but especially the ones on the ceiling over indoor pools, so that I'd be staring at them while trying to backstroke, and then crashing into the wall.. 
Yea.. know this was a bit off topic.. but it was a really vivid memory!
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Robert312
Raven
Joined: Aug 15, 2009
Age: 48
Posts: 114
Location: Birmingham
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| Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I think there might be a problem directing the signal to the right place. I've locked my keys in my car and the first reaction was elation, like "Oboy!" Like I was happy to get locked out. After that came the panic, but I wonder why that first reaction. |
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JasonGone
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Sep 22, 2009
Age: 36
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| chelischili7 wrote: | | I cannot speak for the rest of you, but I think our intensity rubs people the wrong way. Aspergians have a tendency to really focus on something whether those are ceiling tiles, an odd object around us, a concept either foreign to us or one that we are interested in, and so on. I have a tendency to squint my forehead, point my chin downward, and completely dilate my eyes when I'm concentrating on something. Many people will think I am not understanding the material so they will ask me if I have a question, or they think I am angry. I am not sure if this happens to others, but it is rather different than others. |
i have been told i have this intense look where it seems as if, "a demon is about to emerge from me." (as a former "friend" once said. i also rub my forehead when i am thinking, reading, listening... just all around focusing and taking in information. people always think i am frustrated and angry.
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