Advice on Dating Profile? Want some tips...

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CerebralDreamer
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18 Dec 2009, 10:47 pm

I've been writing up a new dating profile, trying to find something that could filter to what I'm trying to find in a relationship. This is just the opening section, to give a picture of why I'm there and what I'm looking for. I was hoping you could give some comments. Anyone have tips or ideas?

"Most people avoid whirlwind romance because the emotional intensity sucks them dry. They are so incapable of separating themselves from their emotions that the whirlwind simply destroys them. For me, it's different. I have never had trouble separating myself from my emotions. I can step in and out of the whirlwind at will.

Even in the deepest, clingiest of relationships, I can start on a hobby, work, and simply forget my partner exists for the next five hours. After that I can go back to their arms, and have all those emotions back in full force. For a while I assumed everyone could do this if they just tried, but now I realize that's not the case.

I think that has to be my primary requirement in dating, being able to separate yourself, to step in and out of such emotional intensity as needed. Secondary requirements would include an intellectual nature, compassion, and above all, honesty. If I wasn't looking for something so rare, I wouldn't be using this site.

So, I'm not here because I can't get any, or because I'm shy. I'm here in the hope of finding someone who wouldn't get destroyed in the type of relationship I'm seeking. Someone immune to the vacuum of the whirlwind, so to speak."



Stinkypuppy
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19 Dec 2009, 1:32 am

It's late and I'm probably not thinking this all the way through, but something that kinda stuck out to me was the part where you said

CerebralDreamer wrote:
I can start on a hobby, work, and simply forget my partner exists for the next five hours

While that feeling may be factually true, I don't think it's a good idea to say it. I think it would be rare for a potential partner to appreciate the thought that he or she could be "simply forgotten", for any amount of time. Personally, I would find that upsetting if somebody told me that I could just be "forgotten" and "remembered" at whim. I would feel as though I weren't valued or special, and/or feel used.


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Merle
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21 Dec 2009, 6:00 pm

First impression - too much information.

Yes, we want our profiles to be honest in hopes of finding our perfect match. We do not want to confuse nor mislead so we coach our words and justify our explanations.

Try to come off light hearted and fun. People are looking for others who can lift up their lives, and not someoen they can "fix" on dating sites.

Look at your target audience... if they are readily meeting people, then they are probably not on a dating site. Play to that. Tell people what you do for fun, how you get out and what you can bring to enrich their life.

Second and last impression - this reminds me of a resume.



oppositedirection
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25 Dec 2009, 6:58 pm

Merle wrote:
Try to come off light hearted and fun. People are looking for others who can lift up their lives, and not someoen they can "fix" on dating sites.
Definitely. Keep it short along side light hearted and fun. On the initial emails you'll get plenty of chances to scare them away and if that does not work then state the above,in second or third email if it truly concerns you. I don't think you'll get far off the ground on that initial message though, as much as I appreciate why an autistic might write it.


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