I finally think I understand about being lost in translation

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I'm always telling my room-mate and my girlfriend how incompetent most of my friends seem...though to be perfectly frank my room-mate and my girlfriend don't seem to offer any dramatically better communication much of the time.

Well, I was at work yesterday, and I was thinking about that, and I suddenly noticed a certain pattern with my customers; I mean, I'd already known about this pattern, but I saw a new perspective on it:

the important questions about payments would get asked to me a thousand times over.

I kept wondering to myself "geez...these idiots mingle with each other all the time; don't they bother telling each other anything important?"

Then all of a sudden, something clicked: my room-mate, girlfriend, and friends seem to be much the same way; they can talk non-stop about unimportant issues, but important "priority" things seem to "fall on deaf ears".

And I figured out why....cause they're NT.


I'm not bashing NTs here, please understand...but do follow me on this:

NTs seem to prefer communicating in small talk, & about "unimportant" things. They never bother to "gab" about important things that need to get done or whatnot.

It's another reason we don't understand their communication: we don't care about those small, petty things.

We're into detailed, thorough information...usually in regards to achieving something important involving our special interest, being that we're hyper-focused & committed.

NTs may also be focused & driven--to a point--regarding what they love, but not to the same extent, & likely won't show the same level of devotion.


When we try to explain to them our important points, they hear words. But unfortunately, since we don't have the body language skills to communicate on their wavelength, they don't pick up on the level of importance that it is...no matter how much we stress it.

And when we say things to them, we're usually very direct; they don't like that, and often get offended by it, as we didn't imply it with body language--since we don't really give it off or pick it up much--with the exception of coming off as cold and heartless to them.


It might also explain why they enjoy social drama that we don't, and why they don't understand when we see something they did as having hurt us, when they don't think they did.


It's just a thought.


Here's where things get interesting for us, though: rather than everyone here trying to be like them--which btw, we never will--realize that we can understand and comprehend things on a totally different level than they can, and we can use that comprehension to our advantage. While our friends may never totally understand what they have at their arsenal with us at their side, we can be very prospectively successful with the abilities we were born with.

How can you say with such certainty that NTs never gab about important things?

They probably do, but it doesn't seem often enough that I'd notice it.

One thing I keep thinking:

no one honestly bothers to mingle with the other folks where I work and ask if they can do a room charge at my register? really?


My room-mate's girlfriend's best friend told me we should carry Twilight figures on our website. My question: great, why didn't she tell me this when I flat-out told her I was apprehensive about buying them, as I didn't know how the new movie would do?


if you know something I don't, feel free to jump in good sir

Like I said...this is just a potential theory, and in fairness, this is the nicest I've ever painted people as of recently. I also know NTs love making small talk where with us not as much so.

that's something you would ask an employee, somebody you're speaking to solely to gain information, not something you bring up in casual conversation. it'd just come off as strange.

"do they allow us to do stuff like room charge here?" isn't something you'd ask someone you know who's done it before?

really?

I'm not sure that you speak for everyone with AS here. All my special interests tend to be about trivial things rather than serious academic/technical subjects.

Also, if I had a query about a particular service, I would feel a lot more comfortable asking a member of staff rather than the guy standing next to me. I feel very awkward talking to complete strangers, and virtually never start conversations with them. It makes me feel a lot better when the person I speak to is paid to answer my question.

a few of my special interests are also trivial, and I turned them into something quite important with my business.

I do understand though what you are saying.

Really. Customers who are already friends might mention it in passing but customers who only know each other as other customers definately won't. If they don't have an established relationship outside of the store, they will discuss either the weather or the actual products of the store. Store protocols might come up if they are quite unusual. But if they are just normal protocol than turning to somebody who works there is the norm.

Training the NT.

The Army method, it works. First you tell them what you are going to tell them, then you tell them, then you tell them what you just told them.

You are right about in one ear and out the other.

The Army method must also be repeated, weekly, monthly, they forget.

As a business owner, you do have to think of everything, and how it all fits together, they don't.

They can deal with most things, if that is their only assigment, and you use the Army method.

In larger corporations a Junior under assistant Vice President is tasked with one small job. Seeing that one thing works is his only job, and if he fails, ex job. He still has to be trained in every step, retrained, and the other Army Method, KISS, Keep it simple stupid.

Complex things like load weapon, fire weapon, is at least a four step training process. They have to be fully trained before they ever see live ammo, and when it all seems to be working, they are given one round under close supervision, and that person is wearing a side arm. A full clip, full auto, no telling what might happen.

I doubt the Army belongs on WP, they just have a lot of people experience.

I doubt the Corporate belongs here, but they have a lot of people experience.

It is a communication thing, while you see a pattern, they see only points.

"All failures are failures of management." You expected them to what?

There is an overlap between ASDs and small business owners. Facts, patterns, things that bore normal people, but then you are dealing with normal people.

We are already accused of repeating ourselves, use it!

NT is small talk, how are they supposed to know you are serious about anything?

Tell them what you are going to tell them, take mind control, prepare the ground, then tell them, and chose your words wisely, then tell them what you just told them, then ask them what you told them.

Test often to keep it in current memory.

I know it sounds strange, like treating them like idiot children, but everyone who deals with them does.

It still fails, out in the field, one shot fired a thousand yards away, and the guy in back will open up on full auto. He does not think of the half dozen standing before him, in the line of fire, someone shot at him, he reacts. 25% of combat deaths are friendly fire. Body armor and helmets give the greatest protection to the rear Side arms are the best way to put a stop to it.

Pick your ground carefully, do not talk of the weather and sports, make your communication task related, watch them closely. Telling them does not get the task done, only when it is the least annoying thing will they do the job, just to shut you up.

There is only one reason the Range Officer carries a side arm, and the troops do not have body armor. They perform because someone is there who will shoot them if they misbehave. Just turning the barrel away from the targets is grounds for being shot.

For all of the training, the most intense, longest, about a quarter will become field soldiers, the rest are to catch bullets from one direction or another.

Wars are won by 10% of the troops who come under fire, who are 10% of the Army. About one in a hundred, who does what it takes.

Business is much the same. Less than 1% run everything, the rest, performance drops quickly, less than 5% can keep the momentum moving forward. The rest are clerks, cooks, drivers, functions.

The history of business is most were killed by the employees. They only see their pay check, not the need for the company to make money.

Founders do look at making money, buiding a company, no one else sees this. If they did, they would start a business. The best companies under professional management will be out of business in ten years. Management are like blood sucking ticks, they suck up so much you think they would explode, but they just get fatter.

Your goals and ambitions will never be shared, so stick to the one thing a person can do, that is one step in your plan.

Yeah, in general NTs see socialising as something they do for fun rather than for any actual purpose.

We're like cats though, we prefer being alone but socialise when it's necessary to communicate information

I thought as much.