Koala_girl
Emu Egg
Joined: Jan 10, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 8
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 Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 6:44 am Post subject: Do you treat others with sensitivity? |
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It seems the stereotype aspie woman (from what I have read) is not sensitive towards others. In my own personal experience however, this is not the case.
Ladies, are you sensitive and considerate towards others? |
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MissConstrue
~Strident Agnostic~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Posts: 18403
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:00 am Post subject: |
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I try to be considering toward most people but it usually depends on the way they treat me.
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God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
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http://www.youtube.com/user/newfful
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Aimless
O Fleshy And Ambitionless
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 5033
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:17 am Post subject: |
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| I try to but it if I don't it's because I'm really unaware of how something I say will be perceived. For instance once an old friend I had recently reconnected with was telling me her concerns about her boyfriend's drinking. She said she wondered if he was an alcoholic. She then went on to say he drank a case of beer a day and I said I thought he was an alcoholic and she reacted negatively at me for "just coming out and saying it". I thought she was asking me. If I had been aware of her mindset I would have phrased it differently. I do think people's feelings matter and sometimes people won't listen to the truth if it's presented in a harsh way. My parents were very focused on teaching us consideration for others so that may have offset any natural tendencies. I try not to take an I don't care attitude with other people's feelings. |
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yagottalaff63
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 28, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 29
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:40 am Post subject: |
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My mother drilled it into my head at an early age to be careful and considerate of other people's feelings and not to always come out and say what's on my mind without thinking first. If I hadn't had her as a good role model, there's no telling how many people I'd have alienated in my life.
I try to be careful not to step on anyone's toes, but sometimes my natural tendencies take over, my mouth engages before my brain, and somebody ends up mad at me. |
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Aimless
O Fleshy And Ambitionless
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 5033
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:44 am Post subject: |
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| I wonder if an assessor ever takes parental influence into consideration or if people just are what they are. |
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MissConstrue
~Strident Agnostic~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Posts: 18403
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:08 am Post subject: |
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EDIT
<double post>
_________________
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
__John Lennon
http://www.youtube.com/user/newfful
Last edited by MissConstrue on Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:09 am; edited 2 times in total |
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MissConstrue
~Strident Agnostic~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Posts: 18403
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:08 am Post subject: |
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| Aimless wrote: | | I try to but it if I don't it's because I'm really unaware of how something I say will be perceived. |
That's another issue I have. I don't have the social graces to know how I come off to people. Sometimes my humor or tone of voice rubs people the wrong way. My job as a waitress for instance was tough, we had to smile and sound almost high pitch while talking. Well if anyone knows about aspergers, you know how hard it is to pull this sort of stuff off. It's practically impossible for me to smile and when I do it looks fake. The sincerity of my voice may not sound so sincere either even though I'm trying to be.
So yeah, I might be perceived as insensitive because of these social quirks.
_________________
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
__John Lennon
http://www.youtube.com/user/newfful
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kip
Eternally Indisposed...
Joined: Mar 14, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 1354
Location: Somewhere out there...
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:02 am Post subject: |
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Well, I try my best. But if you're rude or otherwise off-putting to me, all bets are off.
I don't go around telling new mothers their babies are butt ugly, but I don't compliment the child either. Mum taught me to just shut up. However, on the opposite side, if I notice something but don't say anything because of how it may be perceived, and later on someone realises that I knew it or thought it, I then get the 'Why didn't you tell me?" Frustrating.
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Every time you think you've made it idiot proof, someone comes along and invents a better idiot.
…the end of our exploring, will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time. - T.S. Eliot |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Cockney
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 35
Posts: 42489
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle, Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:04 am Post subject: |
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I've learned to treat people with sensitivity, all through grade school. I was always bullied, teased and put down, by my peers and some of my teachers. As a result of that experience, I treat everybody with sensitivity. I don't want to hurt anybody, for any reason.
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"The darling, unworldly Mick Avory with hands like shovels, who wouldn't dare choose to hurt a soul" -Ray Davies 1964
<---This is how I actually look, like Mick: The actual Wonderboy
I'm a drummer, not a writer. |
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pschristmas
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 43
Posts: 829
Location: Buda, TX
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 11:18 am Post subject: |
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I do my best. The need for compassion and courtesy were drilled into me at an early age, so I always try to stop and think about how my actions or words will be perceived. Unfortunately, I'm occasionally wrong.
Over the past decade or so, though, it seems like the demand for a certain kind of behavior that I find to be highly over expressive has become the norm. It's not enough to be sympathetic and express concern for others, it seems people expect others to fall prostrate and weep with them. Melodrama has become endemic, at least that's how it seems to me. |
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pschristmas
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 43
Posts: 829
Location: Buda, TX
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 11:26 am Post subject: |
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| Aimless wrote: | | She then went on to say he drank a case of beer a day and I said I thought he was an alcoholic and she reacted negatively at me for "just coming out and saying it". I thought she was asking me. If I had been aware of her mindset I would have phrased it differently. |
It's not quite the same thing, but my daughter nailled me the other day for trying to solve her problems when all she wanted to do was vent about them. She pointed out that I sometimes just want to vent about problems, too, but when it's other people I try to fix things instead of just listening. It sounds like your friend just wanted to vent about her worries, not have them confirmed. |
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alana
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 22, 2009
Posts: 1015
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | | Aimless wrote: | | I try to but it if I don't it's because I'm really unaware of how something I say will be perceived. |
That's another issue I have. I don't have the social graces to know how I come off to people. Sometimes my humor or tone of voice rubs people the wrong way. My job as a waitress for instance was tough, we had to smile and sound almost high pitch while talking. Well if anyone knows about aspergers, you know how hard it is to pull this sort of stuff off. It's practically impossible for me to smile and when I do it looks fake. The sincerity of my voice may not sound so sincere either even though I'm trying to be.
So yeah, I might be perceived as insensitive because of these social quirks. |
I probably am sometimes 'insensitive' but it sucks because I try so hard not to hurt people's feelings. |
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MizLiz
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 08, 2008
Posts: 798
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 1:37 am Post subject: |
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I think my coldness and emotional distance is one of the reasons my boyfriend likes me so much (he calls it "mystery" and wishes he could read my mind. I feel like some kind of statue when I'm around him. I'm there. You can look at me. You can touch me. But, I'm not going to touch you back or look at you. So, in that respect, it may seem like I'm insensitive.
However, I know that I can't break up with him. It would destroy him. Before we met, he was in a really bad relationship, kind of to the point where when it ended, he was suicidal. Then now he's just elated. I can't take that from him. So what? I'll suffer to keep him happy? |
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musicboxforever
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 22, 2009
Age: 28
Posts: 433
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| Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 7:13 am Post subject: |
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| kip wrote: | Well, I try my best. But if you're rude or otherwise off-putting to me, all bets are off.
I don't go around telling new mothers their babies are butt ugly, but I don't compliment the child either. Mum taught me to just shut up. However, on the opposite side, if I notice something but don't say anything because of how it may be perceived, and later on someone realises that I knew it or thought it, I then get the 'Why didn't you tell me?" Frustrating. |
Ah, new babies. I never know how to react to them. They are very rarely beautiful. I guess I show consideration. I don't say that I am not interested in them. I just keep my mouth shut.
Funnily enough, it is me who has learned to keep my mouth shut, not my mother. She comes out with just what she is thinking and then I have to pick up the pieces when it isn't well received. Poor woman never seems to learn.
I think I have a reputation for being considerate. When I was younger I was more opinionated and always spoke my mind, but I have learned that not everyone wants my opinion and I find the best way to be considerate of someone is to listen to them. |
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Brittany2907
Self-Proclaimed Animal Lover
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 4858
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 2:53 am Post subject: |
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| CockneyRebel wrote: | | I've learned to treat people with sensitivity, all through grade school. I was always bullied, teased and put down, by my peers and some of my teachers. As a result of that experience, I treat everybody with sensitivity. I don't want to hurt anybody, for any reason. |
I had the opposite reaction & wanted to seek revenge. I HATE school kids now & whenever I see a teenager in a school uniform I want to make then as miserable as I once felt because they don't know what it's like!!
Other than that, I try to be sensitive towards people but to be honest I don't really know what defines "being sensitive".
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Animals = Friends.
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