angelbear
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 12, 2009
Posts: 1112
|
 Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:29 pm Post subject: Does having a sibling help? |
 |
|
| Hello all! I am the parent of a wonderful 4 year old AS little boy. He is more than likely going to be an only child mainly because of my age. (I was 40 when I had him) Anyway, I worry about him not having any siblings. I was hoping to hear about your experiences with having (or not having) a sibling---- |
|
| Back to top |
|
ursaminor
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 21, 2009
Posts: 936
Location: Leiden, Netherlands
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:31 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Life would be much easier without my sibling. |
|
| Back to top |
|
starygrrl
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 13, 2009
Posts: 795
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Honestly speaking, having a sibling may make things MUCH MUCH MUCH WORSE. It does not help to have a sibling, in fact it just adds unneeded stimulation and stress. On top of that your time and focus will be diverted. It would just make what is already bound to be a hard childhood, harder. Let him be an only child, it will be easier for him to decompress when he needs the time too.
I would much rather not had a sibling. It made life more difficult for me at home because when I wanted to be alone they bothered me. I needed that time alone, I did not need a sibling. For me growing up was being under constant stress because of how bad things were at school, how bad things were at home, and having a little brother. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Meg72
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 01, 2009
Age: 17
Posts: 27
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I suppose it might help being an only child. More attention would be focused on him then and you wont have to worry about another child being jealous of the attention he needs.
However, I don't know what I'd do without my brother and vice versa I suspect. He is autistic and I think having me there helps him, but then he is younger than me and I think that makes a huge difference. |
|
| Back to top |
|
PrisonerSix
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2004
Posts: 737
Location: The Village
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| ursaminor wrote: | | Life would be much easier without my sibling. |
My life would have been much better without my older sister and two of my 3 brothers.
_________________
PrisonerSix
"I am not a number, I am a free man!" |
|
| Back to top |
|
kc8ufv
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 28, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 779
Location: Toledo, OH
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:00 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Honestly, I'd probably be much worse-off now, if I didn't have my little brother. When I was a kid, I'd end up playing with my brother and his friends, since I had a hard time making my own friends. Sure, there were times where I wished he weren't there, but I think overall, it was beneficial. My traits may be beneficial, but there seems to be a minimum amount of social skills needed to actually be able to use the traits in the professional world -- You can't get a job anywhere if you can't bring yourself to talk to someone. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Willard
Nobody
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 4077
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:12 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I was an only child during my formative years, as my sister wasn't born until I was 9. With that many years between us, we didn't interact a lot, as I was a teenager while she was in preschool.
I can see how it might have been more difficult and stressful to have had a sibling when I was really young (though I did have 2 cousins my age that I spent a LOT of time with - they were in fact the only friends I had).
On the other hand, as has been pointed out here already, there is something to be said for the effect on development of social skills and personal interaction that you don't get if there's never anyone else around. |
|
| Back to top |
|
PrisonerSix
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2004
Posts: 737
Location: The Village
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| kc8ufv wrote: | | Honestly, I'd probably be much worse-off now, if I didn't have my little brother. When I was a kid, I'd end up playing with my brother and his friends, since I had a hard time making my own friends. Sure, there were times where I wished he weren't there, but I think overall, it was beneficial. My traits may be beneficial, but there seems to be a minimum amount of social skills needed to actually be able to use the traits in the professional world -- You can't get a job anywhere if you can't bring yourself to talk to someone. |
Glad it worked out for you. My sister often stole the few friends I made. They would come by the house, talk to me for a short time, then spend their time with her ignoring me. I just wanted her to have her friends and me to have mine, but our parents wouldn't intervene, even though if she had friends over, I was not to bother them in any way. Never quite understood why I wasn't granted the same courtesy.
As for my sister, she was always a my way or the highway sort of person so if we tried to spend time together, everything had to be the way she wanted it and if it wasn't, she'd get up and leave. Even board games would end up in a fight because if I started winning, she'd get mad the moves I'd made and tell me I can't do that, or simply say that she automatically won.
I live in a different city from her now, and rarely see her, which works out fine for me.
Based on your screen name, looks like you're a ham. Good to see another ham here.
_________________
PrisonerSix
"I am not a number, I am a free man!" |
|
| Back to top |
|
Stinkypuppy
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 03, 2006
Age: 34
Posts: 1553
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:34 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Willard wrote: | | On the other hand, as has been pointed out here already, there is something to be said for the effect on development of social skills and personal interaction that you don't get if there's never anyone else around. |
+1
I have a twin brother, and he's my worst enemy and best friend at the same time, so things balance out. A lot of people in this thread are griping that they think they would need the alone time and whatnot, and I certainly had many moments that I wanted my brother to go away. But in retrospect, I'm glad he never did... because all the other times when I didn't want to get away, I really appreciated having someone there who knew me in every way imaginable. Someone who understood the social problems I had at school, and the horrors we faced at home, because he not only said, "oh, I sympathize", he experienced everything with me too. It did amazing wonders to both of our self-esteems, simply knowing that we aren't alone, and we weren't going crazy. We had the same special interests growing up, which helped a lot.
Of course, it also helped to have a captive audience of sorts to practice social skills on. It took a lot of the pressure off, knowing that pretty much no matter what I did, my brother had little choice but to live in the same house as me, and vice versa. We annoyed each other constantly, but ultimately learned to get over things, to learn to share, to learn that to help each other was also to help ourselves.
_________________
Won't you help a poor little puppy? |
|
| Back to top |
|
pat2rome
If I seem a little strange, that's because I am
Joined: Jun 30, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 1818
Location: Georgia
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:43 pm Post subject: |
|
|
My sister has always looked after me. Always. A few weeks ago my family sat down and watched old videos. One of them was Christmas when I was 2 and she was 4. I was completely focused on one toy, and she was saying "Hey, Patrick, look what you got over here!" and trying to keep me moving. 
I also get all of my clothing advice from her, and she does an awesome job with that too.
_________________
I'm never gonna dance again, Aspie feet have got no rhythm. |
|
| Back to top |
|
ursaminor
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 21, 2009
Posts: 936
Location: Leiden, Netherlands
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| There is no way to be sure if your son will have a happy or a sad experience with a sibling, so this thread has not helped at all. |
|
| Back to top |
|
persian85033
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 1696
Location: Phoenix
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:53 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Having my brother has helped me a lot. |
|
| Back to top |
|
poopylungstuffing
Lolliwink Slayer
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 37
Posts: 7618
Location: Snapdragon Ridge
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:54 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I have a younger NT sister...(by 4 years)
Throughout our whole upbringing there was always the issue of her being more normally developed than me...both mentally and physically..
Since I was sorta emotionally stunted, my friends liked her better, my relatives liked her better, she had more reciprocal relationships with my cousins..I was a source of embarrassment to her and she could be really cruel sometimes. To this day, we never talk to each other..
_________________
http://www.youtube.com/user/MsPuppetrina
http://www.youtube.com/poopylungstuffing
http://www.superhappyfunland.com
"Ifthefoolwouldpersistinhisfolly,hewouldbecomewise" |
|
| Back to top |
|
angelbear
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 12, 2009
Posts: 1112
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
This thread has helped! My husband and I are trying to decide whether to adopt a child or not. I am taking all of these posts into consideration. Ursaminor, I agree that we won't know whether or not my son will have a happy or sad experience. However, hearing that many of the posters were annoyed by their siblings, makes me feel a little better that things have worked out the way they have. At this point, my son seems quite happy to be alone. He has never mentioned wanting a brother or sister.
I guess my interest in adoption is to fulfill my own desire to have more than one child. However, as time goes by, I am beginning to see that it may be in my son's best interest to let him be an only child. Hopefully, he will learn interaction through school and with my friends children, as he also seems to have no desire to make friends at this point either.
Thanks for the input. |
|
| Back to top |
|
irishaspie
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 26, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 366
Location: ireland
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
i hate my siblings
_________________
If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
