League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13500
Location: My house
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 Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:40 am Post subject: Why did you marry? |
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| I didn't marry my husband for love, I married him because of tax breaks. I didn't see the point in getting married if you can just stay together for life so why waste money? I didn't care for the presents or the honeymoon or the cake and food. When my husband wanted to marry me I told him I wasn't interested in getting married. He asked me why and I said it was a waste of money and he said we get tax breaks if we do and I said "Okay, let's get married then." Another reason to get married is you get presents. I married for tax breaks. Everyone laughs at that when I say it, even my husband. My husband thinks that's the AS speaking. Of course he knows it's me saying it but he thinks its the AS that makes me think that way. I also get from people "You didn't marry him for love?" Even one of my old high school mates asked me that on facebook and I told her I don't see point in weddings and I did it for the tax break and she laughed and told me is that why I'm pregnant so I can get more tax breaks. I told her no and we want kids and she said she was just kidding. The baby would be due next month if I still had it. |
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Lene
born to lurk
Joined: Nov 28, 2007
Posts: 3543
Location: East China Sea
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| Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:53 am Post subject: |
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Sounds a sensible enough reason to me. I suppose it's funny because the stereotype of people who marry for tax reasons is that they aren't in love, yet you and your husband clearly are.
I'm not married and don't know if I ever will be; I like the idea of walking away from a relationship if it doesn't work out without having to change my status on forms to 'divorcee' and having to go through lawyers etc.
I suppose the only thing that would persuade me to marry someone would be if I had kids; I'd want them to have a stable family life and marriage may make it more likely that we would stick together (whether we enjoyed it ro not would be a different thing entirely...) |
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Descartes30
Toucan
Joined: Dec 25, 2009
Age: 36
Posts: 272
Location: Earth, for now.
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| Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:34 am Post subject: |
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I'm ridiculously romantic. It's the only emotion that I feel very strongly, romantic love. So it made every sense for me to get married. And I wouldn't give up that experience for anything, even if my marriage didn't last very long. The marriage itself and the day to day of being married were both very wonderful to me. So while I can say that I don't think my feelings about it are necessarily the way people are "supposed" to feel, I didn't feel that way because I was supposed to. It just fits my emotional and mental makeup for me to love marriage and monogamy and all that goes with it. I did also learn at least that if I was ever to get married again, I do need to find someone who feels like I do. I may find a wonderful woman that I want to marry, but unless she is as excited about being married as I am, it's not going to work. So our reasons may be different, but it's more important to find someone that is compatible with us and our reason for being together than anything. Because you both have to work at it to make it last.
On a side note, because marriage and romantic love are the majority of my emotional makeup, I probably will have to find a woman that isn't that interested in having children. Because I will not make a great father, they will never matter nearly as much to me as their mother will, and so I'm fine with not having them at all. So I couldn't last with a woman that's with me to be a father for her children. I want my princess, not a generational legacy. Alas all these things, and my general unappealing nature, make it pretty much impossible to find the right woman. 
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Plimba prin umbra, pina la marginea noptii |
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monsterland
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 31, 2009
Age: 35
Posts: 671
Location: San Francisco, CA
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| Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:38 am Post subject: |
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| When I marry, it will be for love, as well as a sign that I'm an adult willing to accept responsibility and work through problems when they arise. I was raised in a culture which respects marriage, surrounded by mostly positive examples of lasting marriages. One could say I have a "Dr. Laura" attitude toward marriage, unpopular as it is among the current cynical trends of American culture. |
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spooky13
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 15, 2009
Posts: 499
Location: Drifting through the fog of reality
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| Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:54 am Post subject: |
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I'm divorced now, but I don't know, seemed like a good idea at the time? 
_________________
"Why do it today when I can put it off until tomorrow."
Diagnosed aspie with an NT alter-ego. |
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ToughDiamond
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 16, 2008
Age: 60
Posts: 4751
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| Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:48 am Post subject: |
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I've been married 3 times and I've never been the one who's particularly wanted to get married - I lived with one partner for about a year, and didn't notice any obvious difference. I just don't go for rituals....I can go through the motions but don't really enjoy it much. I think usually it's more of a girl thing, but not always. The only wedding I've enjoyed was my band's lead guitarist's wedding - we were the entertainment, and it was also our first performance ever, and those things were much more important to me than the wedding itself.
I quite like the idea of registering as a couple in some way, though I'm not sure of any real advantages - maybe the ring wards off predators? |
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BetsyRath
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Nov 14, 2009
Posts: 193
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| Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:58 am Post subject: |
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The last one on a whim (after years of pressure) but mostly it was because we were shelling out $1000 for insurance and he could be put on my policy easily if we married. Seemed stupid not to do it after all those years. He left me, and the kids very abruptly several years ago and then I was a single mom.
When I met my now husband, I knew marriage would have to be in the picture because I have two very small children and I want that security for them, legally and financially. For me personally, it's the right thing to do with small children involved. Also, I love him very much, but that part alone definitely wouldn't have made me marry him.
If my children weren't here - I wouldn't be married.
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Happy and loving my AS/NT marriage. |
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Ladarzak
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 399
Location: Vancouver, Canada
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| Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:58 am Post subject: |
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> I'm an adult willing to accept responsibility and work through problems when they arise.
I agree. We are committed to be there thick or thin, forever. And when it comes time to be in the hospital, we want to be considered family so we have the right to be there, and sometimes make decisions if the other is incapable. There's a lot of trust. Agreeing to share and care and making that promise. It's not about a ritual or a ceremony, but a serious intent to be responsible for the other person when needed. And tax breaks are good, too. |
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Meow101
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 17, 2010
Posts: 1699
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:49 pm Post subject: |
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I married because I loved my husband. Unfortunately I seem to be a complete failure at getting that across to him. 
~Kate |
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RhettOracle
Toucan
Joined: Oct 11, 2009
Posts: 291
Location: Outta here
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| Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 1:00 pm Post subject: |
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I married for many reasons. Because my wife is the first person I ever encountered who loved me for who I am. She was the first person I ever met who was like me in a lot of ways. We are both musicians, and record collectors, and Beatles fans, and highly literate, and have the same views on many subjects. We do not like to argue. We do not need a large social circle. We are individuals with our own interests; sometimes they overlap. Neither of us is clingy or high-maintenance. Being her friend is the easiest thing I've ever done.
Another reason is that when we connected, I lived in Canada, and she lived in Florida. When she came into my life and we fell in love and wanted to be together, it presented an opportunity for me to leave Canada, where I had been failing at life for 37 years, and move to Florida. I would have to start over, and find work and a new set of friends and acquaintances who were not the ones I used to be saddled with. It gave me an opportunity to break out of old patterns and habits, like poverty and chronic unemployment and isolation and drug use to dilute the boredom and depression, and become a man worthy of a woman's affection.
Now I'm a homeowner, and I have a career, and I own a lot of things I used to only dream about having. Getting married is the best thing that ever happened to me. It has worked out so well that I have a hard time understanding why it isn't as good for so many other people. We can do it, why can't they? Of course, I know that it comes down to insecurity, immaturity, ego, and other negative factors, but I am living proof that a good, happy, stress-free marriage is possible to have. I am the only one in my family to have a good marriage. All my other relatives have either been divorced, some more than once, or have suffered through crappy marriages for their whole adult lives. All my closest friends from the past have been divorced. I can't see than ever happening to us, because we enjoy what we bring to each others' lives and have no reason to do anything to jeopardize it. We married because we knew it would be the right thing for both of us. And it was. |
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Azharia
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 363
Location: Cork, Ireland
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| Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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I was madly in love with y husband and we wanted to show it to the world and make a visible unbreakable commitment to each other?
Also I loved having my own wedding! It was so romantic!! |
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CleverKitten
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 07, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 955
Location: Norfolk, Virginia, USA
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| Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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Me and my fiance aren't married yet, but we are getting married sooner rather than later because of the tax breaks, and because maybe it will be easier to buy a house if we were a married couple, rather than two separate people just buying a house.
And of course we love each other as well.
And it's nice to get some gifts, and money. And to get rid of my deadbeat father's last name.
_________________
"Life is demanding without understanding."
- Ace of Base
Check out my blog: http://glanceoutthewindow.blogspot.com/ |
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Tim_Tex
Professor Hineybottom
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 41865
Location: Houston, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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I would probably do it for family honor, and to please God (although I probably won't wait until marriage for sex).
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<<<=== This is not the devil, this is the Red Guy from Cow and Chicken. |
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Friskeygirl
Never argue with idiots
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Joined: Jun 26, 2009
Age: 28
Posts: 1865
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| Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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I will never get married, its an antiquated institution, women that do get married are chattel, women
that do it for reasons other then love such as money are no better then opportunistic tramps. I do
love my boyfriend but there is no way I would ruin a great relationship by getting married. |
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CleverKitten
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 07, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 955
Location: Norfolk, Virginia, USA
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| Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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If a great relationship is ruined by just signing a few pieces of paper and saying a few words in front of a judge, then it probably isn't such a "great" relationship to begin with. 
_________________
"Life is demanding without understanding."
- Ace of Base
Check out my blog: http://glanceoutthewindow.blogspot.com/ |
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