Does the diet make you feel "dead," too?

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Sekkave
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25 Feb 2010, 7:45 am

This may sound strange to some of you if you haven't experienced the diet for yourself. But I've been having this aching feeling that somehow part of me died when I began the GF/CF/Soy-free diet. I am not complaining really. I do believe it works 100% at least for me. I've improved with focus and social skills. I've stopped randomly obsessing about things or generally getting a random "high feeling" in the middle of the day. I've also lost the "ringing" in my ears that I would get constantly. There is no more sensitivity to light or sound. I can go out to the beach without seeing floaters or everything looking so pale and gray. Being outside isn't such a noise fest. And most of all I can make EYE-CONTACT. My face even emotes easily without having to pre-think how I'm looking to everyone else. It just happens. It is as if all the noise in my mind went away and suddenly I came to the top of my consciousness.

All of this came from VERY strict (almost to the point of obsessive) preparation of food in the home, never eating out, not having the slightest chance of goofing up or "poisoning" myself. (Because when I slip up I REALLY notice it like a stark contrast).

With so many of the things I always was hopeful for to come to life, there was an unrealized downside to this. A lot of my "gifts" I find were actually very closely attached to the symptoms of Aspergers. When they went away, so did that drive I had. It felt as if that "safe closet" in my mind that I could escape to, to think, just vanished... Or rather I forgot how to see it. Like being ejected almost. And it is difficult, even impossible, to get back to that place in my mind. That is unless I slip up on the diet. Then it all comes back (along with the less positive elements).

So I wanted to send this out there to see if anyone else has had the same experience. If anything I can say at least this experience has given me some perspective. I feel I have been able to develop socially much more so in 2 years than I have my entire life. But at what cost? Not being myself? It kind of scares me that being NT could feel so... automated.

Gav



Sekkave
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25 Feb 2010, 8:25 am

I want to clear up to anyone that has tried GFCF in the past and had no luck that my symptoms only mildly improved with Gluten and Casein removal. The final step of getting rid of Soy (which is in EVERYTHING practically, in the form of oils like in some bags of chips or sauces) made all the difference. I am a firm believer in this diet based just on my own experience with it over the last 2 and a half years.

It took over 3 months to feel anything. And I have to say there is a HUGE craving for ANY product containing G/C/S. Its like your body is secretly working against you to maintain this high. Like how people with a food intolerance somehow crave what they shouldn't have. Ever wonder why you have this strong craving for say, Tuna-fish sandwiches? Look out, it's the Vinegar in the mayo. Also tuna in the can tends to be processed in the plant in such a way that small levels of casein end up inside.

If you want any help or pointers (there are plenty tucked away all over the internet, and some things you cannot find at all except for trial and error) or are just curious, send me a message on here. I'd be glad to share.



kate123A
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25 Feb 2010, 8:45 am

oh how I understand. I'd feel this happy kind of mellow when I eat g/c/s and the withdrawal has been rough. I'm constantly craving pizza but the cost of it physically is really high. I have intestinal bleeding when I eat gluten. The cravings are so bad and get worse for me when I slip up.



Irisrises
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25 Feb 2010, 8:48 am

I've never had this experience but I've also never been on a really really strict diet. I think it's impressive what you've done! :thumleft:



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25 Feb 2010, 8:49 am

I've never tried that diet, but I'm guessing it's similar to the Atkins diet craving wise-that was TERRIBLE not grabbing fruits or sweets at the store, or cereal... ugh-there's a reason I didn't last on it, I have very low willpower. My boyfriend (who was the one who got me to try it out) lasted, but I lasted maybe a month on it before just stopping.

Congrats on the success for sure, and I applaud you for being able to maintain it :)


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sinsboldly
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25 Feb 2010, 9:01 am

same thing happens to me when my AS is suppressed by anti depressive drugs. All the same issues I have are tied with my ability to just summon the information I need to have to do my job. I used to never have to look things up, it would just 'appear' in my mind and I would just mentally read it off. But on relatively low doses of citalopram or sertraline I have to search for the information and remind my self of it again and again.

I have a friend that is AS that is a pharmacist, he said when he was on a gluten free dairy free diet, he had to use a calculator all the time for configuring titration rates, rather than just having the numbers just calculate themselves in his mind as he was used to it happening.

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25 Feb 2010, 9:05 am

Congrats on actually going through with it! I've heard plenty of positive things about it...but scared to do the change.


Your post was pretty inspiring. Maybe I can read more now and attempt this.



Sekkave
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25 Feb 2010, 9:23 am

sinsboldly wrote:
I have a friend that is AS that is a pharmacist, he said when he was on a gluten free dairy free diet, he had to use a calculator all the time for configuring titration rates, rather than just having the numbers just calculate themselves in his mind as he was used to it happening.


Yes, it makes me wonder if maybe part of our minds becomes less active, leaving us to somehow re-learn how to do tasks with different pathways. It feels to me like the very visual part of my mind was disconnected, or I can't reach it to simulate everything I'd like to in my mind as I was used to. But I have learned quickly to work other ways. But without the benefits of all the visuals I could "see" mentally it makes the whole process feel less rewarding to my mind somehow. Maybe it is something I will get used to. I sort of miss it.

One other thing for the pluses list -- I don't feel like when I'm talking its as if another person is doing it for me. I actually feel like I am the one speaking. And MAN does it feel good to say what you want when you want. It's like breathing.



Sekkave
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25 Feb 2010, 9:49 am

As I was writing my last reply I was trying to put my finger on something regarding the speech issue (the disconnected voice feeling). To describe the feeling more exactly I'd have to say it feels like having that inner-voice, you know the one that you "really" are, who always says the right things... It's like THAT voice comes out. If that makes sense.

I can't tell you how many times I used to say something in the past (before diet) where I thought, oh no I said the wrong thing, or I should have said this... Or I said this in the wrong tone and conveyed the wrong sentiment. It's the inner voice that comes back out and sort of freed up. It's definitely the most important thing for me. Helps with being accepted. Although situations like eating out with groups of people can become a little more awkward when you're the only one not eating (lol) at least you've got the power to distract them with conversation, eye contact, and most of all NO FEAR.



Illite
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25 Feb 2010, 10:43 am

I poked around at a GF free diet.... and I wanted to cry everytime I saw my hamburger from Hardee's wrapped in Lettice.

I dont see how in the hell it is possible to take out Casin and Soy too, specially when your on my budget:(



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25 Feb 2010, 11:42 am

I'm going back to school and I'm having a heck of a time studying b/c the info that would previously automatically become pictures is all in words and I can't convert it into pictures mentally which means it's not sticking. So I'm having to work harder at it. I feel so annoyed about it b/c before it was a snap. It's like everything is all integrated now where before it took me 30-45 seconds to process and answer but I'd come up with interesting answers. I've found methyl B 12 helps with that dead feeling and so does B6

On the other hand no intestinal bleeding is a plus.

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25 Feb 2010, 5:31 pm

I didn't have any bread at lunch, and I feel dead.


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25 Feb 2010, 6:08 pm

I was on it for a few years. It did absolutely nothing, except for making me crave food that tasted good. Not necessarily wheat or milk--just food that wasn't my mom's disastrous attempts at GF/CF "healthy cooking". Her basic procedure was to throw a lot of things into a pot, boil until unidentifiable, and expect us to eat it. For a long while, I would eat as much as I possibly could when I found food that tasted good; and as a result, I'm overweight now. I haven't gained in a while, but it took me a long time to internalize that good-tasting food is usually available and doesn't have to be gobbled whenever one has the opportunity.


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25 Feb 2010, 7:25 pm

I'm glad to hear about a positive experience. I tried it for a few weeks, I didn't go completely off gluten though. It did help in some ways. I could sleep better, was less obsessive, I didn't feel as itchy but I didn't feel like I was getting enough nutrition. And when I went to the city I'd starve because I couldn't find anything GFCF to eat.

Hearing about it clearing up sensory issues is good though. I may go back on it if things get worse for me. But I don't want to lose the positive AS symptoms. I guess what people are saying is true: to become more NT, you lose your special skills, your individuality.


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GaryG
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25 Feb 2010, 11:12 pm

I'm on the GF diet. When I first started, I felt dead. However, after a couple weeks of detoxification, I feel very much alive. I'm now more than I ever was before then. Still, I am no less of an Aspy then I was before. I am still great with math, still able to see, smell, hear things others can't, and, when I want to, I can obsess about certain things just like I almost always did, and then decide that it isn't important (it's an on off switch for me). My attention span is great, I could still do with improvement when it comes to sitting down and reading a book; I prefer to be able to ask questions from my source of education, and you can't do that with a book. I can make eye contact now, and can make and interpret appropriate facial expressions; this was extremely difficult for me before.
I have never experienced any set backs except the lack of variety (which is ok for me since I'm good with plain and simple) and the first couple of weeks. So, for any of you who want to start the diet, I recommend it, just stay committed and hang in there.



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26 Feb 2010, 12:54 am

I'm on a GF diet, used to be CF too but then started eating chocolate and noticed that it made no difference. I don't eat soy products, either. I have noticed significant improvements in concentration and alertness, as well as decreased sensory sensitivity (although it's still there). I had a very strong effect for a period of time; I could look into people's eyes more, and my vocal variety is much easier to regulate now, but I still have all the symptoms of AS. The only difference is that they're easier to manage now because I can think clearer. I got my diagnosis while being on the GFCF diet, and started seeing my psychologist while on that diet, too. I'm apparently still awkward when I talk, still often have monotone speech, I don't make eye contact (but I've learned to fake it), and still very much have trouble interpreting social cues. There's nothing magic about this diet, but it did make me feel better and I'm going to continue it.


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