Is it a aspie thing to get upset over a little thing?

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superboyian
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05 Apr 2010, 7:13 am

Is it an aspie thing when we get upset over a little thing, I remember this guy at my school and he was getting upset over a toolbar or something and I didn't seem to understand why he was getting upset over it.

And there was another forum I went to, the other person got really upset over a avatar and starting taking it out on other members, is this a common thing that happens with autism and aspergers?


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MONKEY
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05 Apr 2010, 7:15 am

Yes it is very common for us to get upset over little things. I think it's a mixture of being sensitive and focusing on details.


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League_Girl
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05 Apr 2010, 7:49 am

My husband says I get upset over things people wouldn't normally get upset about and my dad used to tell me I am getting too excited and upset over nothing. I hated hearing that.



ursaminor
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05 Apr 2010, 8:43 am

League_Girl wrote:
My husband says I get upset over things people wouldn't normally get upset about and my dad used to tell me I am getting too excited and upset over nothing. I hated hearing that.
Yes.
It is annoying when something that means enough to me to make a fuss about, means nothing to others.



FredOak3
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05 Apr 2010, 8:59 am

OMG, most definitely...and it's one of the biggest problems I have in my relationship with my wife and kids.
I'll find I blow at things that really tick me off and my wife just gets so mad at me and asks "Why are you so upset over nothing?"
But in my mind it's a big deal.



zeldapsychology
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05 Apr 2010, 9:11 am

I'm irritated over Dumbledore's picture not being in his office at the theme park and I rambled about this to my mom/dad and they laughed that I would get upset over something so small. They found that I was irritated by this little issue funny. :-)



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05 Apr 2010, 9:17 am

Well, I do that but in that moment the things i get upset about ceartainly do not appear to be little, in retrospective they usually are though.
So this combined with a chronically short temper is a good project to work on, and I think i'm making up leeway (slowly though)!



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05 Apr 2010, 9:27 am

I've been accused of doing that. My boyfriend phrases it a nicer way; he says that the things or actions I focus on often are wrong, but that I give them too much importance in the scale of things, and that I would be happier if I learnt to shrug them off sometimes as human error and go 'meh'.

It helps to realise that people often don't think whilst they do an action, even though in my mind I can see dozens of reason for them doing so and these reasons do make sense given the person concerned or their past actions. Unfortunately, to the person themselves and onlookers, it looks like you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

I am trying to do this, and I've succeeded to a large part at work and college. At home it's different because they know me better and in my mind should know better than to do some stuff. I also trust them more than people at work, so they have a greater capacity to hurt me.

My boyfriend is usually sympathetic and makes attempts to understand my viewpoint and listen to my reasons for getting upset. It doesn't work when we are tired; I think I will be explaining well, and he's refusing to listen and snapping at me, and he thinks exactly the same about me so it escalated into a huge argument. The next day, we're often calmer and have realised ourselves what our reasons for being upset actually were (even NTs sometimes don't know why they get upset over something).

I think people with aspergers may get more upset over 'trivial' things than NTs because to us, the whole world is sort of a big practical joke and a lot of the time, we don't get it and worry that it's going to be on us. My bf has a point when he said that a lot of NTs would react badly too if they found themselves in the middle of a situation where they didn't have a clue what was going on (look at backfired practical jokes- I've seen some guys go nuts over them). Considering that we find a lot of situations confusing, it's not suprising that we cannot differentiate between normal and malicious/hurtful intent.



Amik
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05 Apr 2010, 9:45 am

Yes, that's a pretty typical aspie thing.

We seem to care about different things than other people, so we may get upset over things that seem minor to others, because they don't realize how important those things are to us or what they mean to us.

I sometimes get upset or excited about things that most people think of as "little things" and they think I'm being silly. Likewise, sometimes neurotypicals get upset or excited about some things that I see as minor or unimportant, so I don't understand either why they feel so strongly about it. It seems to me like we simply have a different sense/opinion of what is important/meaningful and what is not.



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05 Apr 2010, 9:49 am

MONKEY wrote:
Yes it is very common for us to get upset over little things. I think it's a mixture of being sensitive and focusing on details.

Bingo.

You see this happen on virtually every thread on WP. We all focus on different things, and it annoys us when something about a post seems wrong. For me, there has to be enough "wrongness" to it for me to respond. I can think of at least 2 actives threads right now where this has been at play.


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jc6chan
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05 Apr 2010, 9:55 am

It may be partly an aspie thing but I was thinking that it has more to do with the fact that many of us probably have a really sheltered life with everything running smoothly and with all our basic needs met. Maybe aspies tend to take things for granted and don't appreciate the things we have :shrug: (just a guess)



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05 Apr 2010, 9:57 am

fiddlerpianist wrote:
MONKEY wrote:
Yes it is very common for us to get upset over little things. I think it's a mixture of being sensitive and focusing on details.

Bingo.

You see this happen on virtually every thread on WP. We all focus on different things, and it annoys us when something about a post seems wrong. For me, there has to be enough "wrongness" to it for me to respond. I can think of at least 2 actives threads right now where this has been at play.



Why have I never noticed? :?



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05 Apr 2010, 11:27 am

This is often the crux of disagreements between my AS wife & myself. She will see something as all important and a huge deal when I will not, because in the context of the overall situation it truely is not. But she will often hyper focus on this tiny little detail & blow it all out of importance to the actual situation.

Yeah, I think it is often an AS thing.



ASgirl
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05 Apr 2010, 12:29 pm

i get upset easily as well but i also tend to forget about it pretty soon after too. my doctor said it's quite common for people with asperger's to be like this, those with adhd as well are even more so.



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05 Apr 2010, 12:40 pm

League_Girl wrote:
fiddlerpianist wrote:
MONKEY wrote:
Yes it is very common for us to get upset over little things. I think it's a mixture of being sensitive and focusing on details.

Bingo.

You see this happen on virtually every thread on WP. We all focus on different things, and it annoys us when something about a post seems wrong. For me, there has to be enough "wrongness" to it for me to respond. I can think of at least 2 actives threads right now where this has been at play.



Why have I never noticed? :?


Nor have I... until now, people are all different and having aspergers affect most the members in different ways like if somebody said a little comment and this person for example would get upset or if we disagreed with that person's taste of music or if somebody disagreed with my taste in games, it definitely happens alot, but normally we just be busy replying back to the posters response to notice it. :lol:

I guess that is the way I can describe it.


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05 Apr 2010, 12:48 pm

superboyian wrote:
... it definitely happens alot, but normally ...


I am upset because of the way you have joined the words "a" and "lot" together incorrectly to form one word "alot". This might be a little thing to you but I'm quite annoyed! Spelling mistakes are unacceptable on this forum. :wink: :lol:


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