Do you get blamed a lot for things you havent done?

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If its not something happening in real life even online without even telling anyone I have AS I always seem to get blamed for things I havent done and its usually by someone I'm trying to be supportive and helpful to! Theres just no end to any of this, is there?

and why do I always seem to get mixed up with people who are just,, well, unusual????

My working theory is that NTs, especially the particularly deceptive ones and the ones who like to blame everyone else, can naturally tell and pick out those who don't have the deception gene (ie. Autism Spectrum and Aspies). It's like they know the perfect scapegoat. Another thing is that if you lack social skills and have no support network, who are you gonna get to back you up when you're blamed for something you didn't do? No one. HA!

My answer to that BS is no more indiscriminate niceness from me and listening to my gut when it's telling me to be wary.

I've been blamed for things I haven't done so much that I'll never be free from automatically feeling guilty for things that are not my fault. I hate it!

I'm also convinced there must be a "deception gene" and that those who have it can naturally tell and pick out those who don't. Listening to one's gut is the BEST advice ever (but get ready to be wary of many people, because there are many people worthy to be wary of!)

Of course.

Society LOVES to accuse.

They like to "blame the ret*d",
he will take the fall for all evils.

What they find out is, I have a tantrum
"I DIDN'T DO IT!! ! I DIDN'T DO IT!! ! I DIDN'T DO IT!! ! I DIDN'T DO IT!! !
I DIDN'T DO IT!! ! I DIDN'T DO IT!! ! I DIDN'T DO IT!! !
I DIDN'T DO IT!! ! I DIDN'T DO IT!! ! I DIDN'T DO IT!! ! "

Stamping and screaming usually happens with
false acusings.

I still have not foudn that control knob

at school i got blamed for not doing my shoelaces
i got blamed for not doing my homework.
i got blamed for not doing my hair.
i got blamed for not doing my best.
in fact, i got blamed for not doing anything at all!!

That sounds like my son.

Thats the thing, if I get blamed for something i haven't done i go totally nuts over it and get so worked up and upset about it and that apparently means that you really are guilty. I mean do NTs expect you to be cool and calm when your accused of something you havent done?

Hi, that makes sense to me, but I get confused as to what my gut feeling means - that's been my major problem and a major symptom of AS in my opinion. Still finding out this stuff though...

I've gotten blamed for things that I didn't do, my whole life.

scrapped

Last edited by b9 on 13 Apr 2010, 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am reminded of the time I went to a really neat party of some art car people...I was invited there by the landlord of the little rooming house where I lived at the time..He was friends of the people, and there were people there who I sorta knew,
I rode there on my bicycle, hung out for a little while, saw some old acquaintances, and then went home. The next year, I rode to the same annual party, and made the rounds, but this year the proprietors of the party had me trailed by one of their friends who acted as a "bouncer" and I was stopped and interrogated and accused of stealing some large stuffed toy iguana...and they would not let the subject drop...They were 100% certain that I had taken the thing, and made up all kinds of stories about things I did at the party last year and there were people who had pointed me out as the culprit...She noted that since I was on my bike, and the iguana was very big, that I must have had a basket on my bike the year before in order to carry the thing....but at that point, I had not owned a bike with a basket since I was a kid....I was ejected from the party....my landlord was told by them to speak to me about the iguana I had stolen and also check my room for it.
it was so traumatic, that I created false memories in my mind of having stolen this thing that I did not steal....and carrying it on my handle bars and disposing of it in some ditch...(which is what I assume they think I did)....but I would not do that.
I wee bit later...6 months or so.... Super Happy Fun Land opened and the art car couple visited the place and I was told by a mutual acquaintance that they had been talking to people about how I had stolen the guy's favorite iguana toy....and though they did not see it anywhere, it was obvious that I had taken it because there were so many toys at my place...and it made me very upset..that they were prone to telling people about this thing that I didn't do.
At one point I saw the art car guy at the place where I used to bar back, and I told him to please believe that I did not steal his iguana...and all he could do was go on about how much the thing meant to him and he was hard with me because he was still sure I had taken it.....
It messed with me for a long while....that incident...

There were other times when I was accused of stealing toys from other kids...This one kid had wooden soldiers that were stolen from a shelf way up high in his room, and I was accused of taking them, and it was another incident of my being insistently and repeatedly accused as if I was the only one capable of such a thing.....even though there were other kids around.

those are some examples

I know what you mean. I think the gut feeling has a lot of other stimuli to contend with in us and that makes it difficult to get a clear handle on. At least that is the way it works for me.

Because I don't take in information about people through body language (not naturally anyway, I've been training myself to do this), I believe I do however take in information through my other senses. This is going to sound freaky perhaps to some people, but my body can sense differences in energy from people and I also believe that I can maybe smell differences and I'm not fully conscious of it. One thing I do know for sure is that I have hyper-sensitive senses, including smell. I sometimes joke that I'm part bloodhound.

Anyway, it's still difficult when I'm in an overstimulating situation because I short circuit.

Oh, and I thought of another thing too. I am hyper sensitive to changes in air pressure and temperature and humidity. What if someone (someone who is normal, not those without conscience), gives off heat when they are playing you? It might be so minimal that you're not consciously aware of it. but somewhere in your primal gut you get the message?

I have been blamed for the mistakes of others and things I didn't realize that were wrong (mostly social offenses). I have also been set up by people to cover for their mistakes and inadequcies.

This has cost me jobs, friends, and in few instances my reputation with people. All for things that I didn't do, or didn't understand that it was wrong to do them.

Not so much anymore. I feel I hold myself in a different way. I can't explain. I did used to be a natural scapegoat. People just look at something unexplainable and pin all sorts of negative superstition to it.

Not a lot, but sometimes I'm watched in stores, presumably because I don't dress like I have money. One thing that still upsets me is this. Long story short-I walked a block over to pick up my son while he was playing at a friend's house. I knocked on the door and was let in. There was a dog there that attacked me while I was still in the entryway. A very territorial Chow/Akita mix they were dog -sitting for the mom's mother. I spent 8 hours in the ER because the dog tore a chunk of meat out of my thigh. I didn't sue because they were a single income family with no renter's insurance and it would have devastated them. The mom knew the dog had a history but she was distracted; it was just a human error as far as I was concerned. I spent $600. out of pocket before my then insurance kicked in. The dad said it happened because I wasn't part of the dog's "tribe". Years later I found out from several different sources that the mom was telling people it happened because I walked in the house without knocking.

I've come to the conclusion some people just like something to b***h at otehrs about, and if there isn't anything they will find something.

They can all get stuffed.