Your "friends" have other friends to hang out with

Post Reply New Topic

...?
Anyone find that your "friends" have no time to hang out with you because they have another group of friends that seem specifically reserved for hang-out time?

I find it annoying because all my friends seem to have an "other friends" category where they would rather hang out with them rather than me. I seem to be missing that category in my list of friends.

An example would be first year university where I have "friends" that I know from my program. The problem is that they all have other friends they know from their dorms and I seem to have difficulty making friends in the dorm setting. And so, whenever school was over I would be really lonely

Yes, I know that. But the kind of people you are talking about, I normally classify as acquaintances rather than friends. The way such people behave toward me bothers me a lot less.
Friend are something else entirely. That kind of people wont do this to you.

I have found that its well nigh impossible for me to be friends with an NT. Somehow they will always turn out to be shallow or disappoint me.

Sarek is right about those "friends" of yours being acquaintances. you can rest easier knowing that. When you find a friendship, they want to hang out with you.
Maybe try meeting friends some other way? Can you join a group of interest in the community? I don't know what it's called. But like, a hiking club, for example, if you enjoy hiking.

And there are nice NTs out there. A lot of annoying ones too. But hey, there are a lot of annoying aspies, too.

oops, I didn't notice a double thread

Anyway, I rarely had REAL friends in my life then. Seems like bad news.

I hated when my HS friends hanged out with other friends! Try to be friend of your friend´s friends too so you all can hang out together! Maybe your friend could introduce you to his other friends... When he is going out with his other friends ask if you can go too! just some thoughts...

It hurts. I don't know how to make it not hurt. But yeah, acquaintances are different from friends. How to tell the difference? I wish I knew so I wouldn't be surprised so often.

I don't know if there is anybody I would call a 'friend', just people I'm on friendly terms with. The three friends I see most all have numerous other people they would value above me.

I think it's always been like that, though, so this situation is just normal to me.

my friends do have other frends, but we hang out.

Yes, it's sad. People would always rather hang out with other people than me. All except one.

not all my friends know each other
i dont know all of their friends
somes times i hang out with them
sometimes they hang out with others
sometimes i do my own thing

I feel like this a lot of the time. I've found the best way to get around it is either trying to hang out with your "friends" and their friends at the same time, and try to get to know their friends. Maybe you'll connect with some of them! I've made friends this way who I'd never thought I'd hang out with.

If that doesn't work, then I think there's nothing you can really do. I always prefer to be alone than to hang out with people who don't really like me anyway. Hanging out with people who don't really want to be there is always so unpleasant.

_________________
I'm an author and public speaker on autism, gender, and sexuality
Read my articles @ http://kirstenlindsmith.wordpress.com
Follow updates @ https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kirsten- ... 9135232493

Yes, probably. They're more socially successful than me, but I find having a lot of friends to be exhausting so I can kind of understand.
They've never really put their other friends before me. They hang out with whoever they had plan with first which sounds fair.
I don't really care anyway. I'm just a hang out/ mess around with buddy. I don't offer much else in a friendship and I'm cool with that.

This used to be a big issue for me growing up, in fact it led to a situation that I am still teased about by my grammar school classmates to this day. I wanted my friends exclusively.

As I have gotten older and into adulthood, it is something that I now accept. That is why people have social gatherings, so people can get together and intermingle with one another.

My friends can't even contact me. I have no interest in "hanging out" with them, but they have offered numerous times to go to their house or go out. I'm just not interested. They don't mind though, luckily.

This was me in secondary school. I was always the tag along except for when I found a best friend and lost her again.

Now I don't really leave the house much unless I have to.