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Telling your parents you think you might have Aspergers
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forlackofaname
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:19 am    Post subject: Telling your parents you think you might have Aspergers Reply with quote

What would be the best way of telling your parents you think you have Aspergers?

I saw a psychologist previously in September because I thought I Adhd( I knew there was something different about me and that description seem'd to fit me best at the time). We did some tests and the psychologist didn't seem too convinced it was affecting me that much but nevertheless I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADD. Now after doing some research I think the doctor was wrong and I think the real issue might be Aspergers. Heres a little background information.

I have always felt different from peers and from a young age I was never really interested in social interaction. I can remember back when I was in kindergarden and in early elementary school during recess I never tried to make friends or had much success socially I would just entertain myself and play alone(It didn't bother me one bit). From then on I cant remember making any friends of my own but would play with the children of my moms friends or ones my mom had set up for me. Around the age of 6 or so I was given a gameboy and I played that endlessly, with that thing I would never get bored(or bored of it). I was a video game addict from then on and spent a majority of my time playing them I would hop from one system to the next finally making it to computer games. What bothers me now is that I have a very hard time interacting with people my age socially and almost find it impossible to make conversation unless a subject I can comment on or relate to comes up. I still am not socially outgoing in any way, even though some people have made an effort to try to get to know me and be my friend I find it very hard to connect with other people. During my highschool years there were really only a few groups of friends I ever hung out with even though I wasn't that close with some of the people in them i just hung out with them so I wouldn't be alone (I had alot of anxiety up until about grade 12) . I had dreadlocks and was a minority(there were only a handful of other people of color in that school) so I guess thats part of the reason people helped accept me. Apart from that the only way I ever socialized was through pot I estimate that 2/3rds of my school had used or does use it and I guess I used it to help me fit in and make me feel good. I had low self-esteem from an early age It might have something to do with my parents getting divorced at a young age when I was 7 and never really getting close to my father even though he has tried.

As of now I've been out of school a year and have a few friends but not really any close ones(I sorta push them away because I cant deal with it sometimes), I have a very hard time connecting with people. Right now I spend most of my time alone or at home with the exception of going to work and being on the internet researching things that interest me and some time playing online games (runescape). I'm quite passionate about health and taking care of mine and also am Interested in learning about and trying to understand the problems of the world we live in.

I sorta went off-topic but what I have typed I feel will help others understand me more so instead of deleting what has been said I'm just going to hit submit.
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pensieve
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I printed out a list of symptoms and showed my mum. She didn't look surprised. I got a 'oh I thought so' response and so we went through months and years trying to get me a diagnosis.
She read a book about AS which helped her understand it.
She knows now and we can talk about it. Although she still wants me to try and be social.
I believe telling them you think you may have it and then following that with some materials describing it. Make sure you do it when they're not busy. They may suspect it anyway.

I can relate. I was never interested in having friends and I do push away my current friends. I just can't be bothered with socializing, although I am becoming very anti-mainstream.
I was also extremely left-wing at a time in my life and learned a great deal about the issues in the world; mostly do to with globalization.

I also have Inattentive ADHD and AS. The inattentive part is the low energy, poor concentration/comprehension, poor organisation and a lot of procrastination (thinking about doing things so much that nothing ever gets done). The AS part is the need for familiarity (I hate change), sensory issues, poor motor skills, narrow though process, disinterest in others and thus poor social skills.
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one-A-N
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You might want to do a few of the tests listed on WrongPlanet here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt113459.html

I recommend the first two: the BAP test gives you a general idea about whether you have any Aspie or autistic traits, and if so which ones. The AQ Test is a screening test - it doesn't diagnose you, but it does tend to indicate whether you have a similar level of Aspie or autistic traits to people who have been diagnosed. Of course, quite a few people like this are not diagnosed because they are coping OK - maybe working by themselves, or working in the field of their special interest (like computer science), etc - and do not qualify as clinically impaired.

If you show up on any of these tests as falling in the Aspie range then you have a reason to suspect AS and so you can mention to your parents that you have done some tests and score high enough to warrant seeking further professional assessment. But if you get assessed, make sure it is by someone experienced in Asperger's syndrome.

So ... doing some tests is a bit of a safeguard against getting it wrong about yourself AND it gives you some test results that you can tell them as evidence for your suspicions. And it is free and easy to do online - it just takes 10-20 minutes and the web page will explain the results. But the test results won't prove that you have AS, only a health professional (psychiatrist, neurologist, psychologist) with experience in AS can tell you that.
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forlackofaname
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:57 am    Post subject: I Did one of the tests Reply with quote

I Did one of the tests on monday, the aspie range was 25 and up I scored 35

I would say I'm also anti-mainstream.
-I dont watch tv because its a waste, bores me and just dumbs people down in general
-I love information and just cant get enough of it on the internet
-I'm getting into raw/live foods and plan to eat mostly raw foods
-I'm very interested in health and spirituality
-I despise pop culture and most mainstream music

How do the rest of you deal with social interaction? to me it feels so foreign like an unwritten language I just cant seem to wrap my head around. When others try to interact/chat with me I do the best I can but I'm not that successful I feel really drained doing it and actualy a lot of the time actively avoid it altogether. When I try to converse with others most of the time I just dont know what to do and have a hard time making it past small talk, I just freeze up and feel like that part of my brain just doesnt work as well as everyone elses. Socializing and interaction in general always ends up making me feel discouraged and makes feel like im defective.
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kia_williams
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 2:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eh, i tend not to try too hard with the socialisation anymore.. pay attention now class.

If social interaction wasn't foreign to everyone including NTs there wouldn't be wars or conflict because conflict is the failure of diplomacy.


Hence, i dont tend to try or judge myself on how well or bad others seem to be doing with it.

The general trick i learned anyway with socialising, is "know".
I don't seem to do so, but in fact i do like a lot of others i've heard from, use "scripts". think is i try to generate them as i go, ive spent YEARS developing the basic "opener scripts" stuff to say to X kind of person in X circumstance, and then from that stuff to say if they say X or something else if they say Y... its alot of effort but it works most of the time.

get a general range of topics, stuff MOST people will know about, come up with some opener scripts and dont be afraid to let your pauses/quietness show, so long as you aren't coming off as skittish, or hesitant, if you LOOK like your pausing/quiet on purpose, most people tend to read that as being thoughtful or thinking about what they said.

Good luck, even the *ahem* "NT experts" in socialisation manage to mess it up to the point of "have nukes will use them"... so don't be too hard on yourself Smile

RE: telling parents, be sure your sure and perhaps go with pensieves advice.
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ColdBlooded
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just tell them. Say something like "hey, i match a lot of the criteria for this condition called Asperger's..." and tell them a little about it. Read them some of the symptoms that describe you. Chances are that if you think your impairments are significant enough for you to be diagnosable, they'll recognize a lot of the traits in you.. Unless they're the sort who think there's nothing wrong with anybody and most psychological "disorders" are fake. Then it might be harder.

My parents were easy, because my mom was convinced i had it before i was.

And, you could have both Inattentive ADHD and AS. I'm diagnosed with both. They aren't technically supposed to diagnose ADHD when a Pervasive Developmental Disorder(such as AS) is present, but they do it anyway.
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pgd
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 10:26 am    Post subject: Re: I Did one of the tests Reply with quote

forlackofaname wrote:
I Did one of the tests on monday, the aspie range was 25 and up I scored 35

I would say I'm also anti-mainstream.
-I dont watch tv because its a waste, bores me and just dumbs people down in general
-I love information and just cant get enough of it on the internet
-I'm getting into raw/live foods and plan to eat mostly raw foods
-I'm very interested in health and spirituality
-I despise pop culture and most mainstream music

How do the rest of you deal with social interaction? to me it feels so foreign like an unwritten language I just cant seem to wrap my head around. When others try to interact/chat with me I do the best I can but I'm not that successful I feel really drained doing it and actualy a lot of the time actively avoid it altogether. When I try to converse with others most of the time I just dont know what to do and have a hard time making it past small talk, I just freeze up and feel like that part of my brain just doesnt work as well as everyone elses. Socializing and interaction in general always ends up making me feel discouraged and makes feel like im defective.


---

Some persons have a subtle hearing difficulty called central auditory processing disorder (CAPD/APD) which can interfere with normal, everyday conversation.

Auditory Processing Disorders: An Overview. ERIC Digest.
Source: ERIC Clearinghouse on Disabilities and Gifted Education Arlington VA. ... The behaviors of children with APD and ADHD may be very similar, ...
http://www.ericdigests.org/2003-5/auditory.htm - Cached - Similar (Google)
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