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jc6chan
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:27 am    Post subject: Eye contact with the opposite gender... Reply with quote

Are you able to make natural eye contact with the opposite gender?

I am unable to make natural eye contact with some girls. I've tried making eye contact on purpose but then it seems like I start staring lol.
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Kiseki
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I look at someone I find attractive- boy or girl- I also tend to stare. Isn't this natural though?
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baffroom
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can make eye contact with girls pretty much the same as with guys. I don't have as much problems with eye contact now as I did when I was young. I basically try not to stare.
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A_Spock_Darkly
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My only issue with eye contact these days, is I can establish and hold eye contact fine, but only when I've formerly prepared myself to do so. For instance, I'll sometimes see an attractive girl that I'm interested in meeting and deliberately glance in her direction to catch her eye.

Then there are the attractive girls that I accidentally make eye contact with, often when I didn't even know they were there until it was too late, and then I have a tendancy to look away too soon. I'm still trying to overcome this little speed bump.

It's always a trial of determination and practice caked in discomfort, but it almost always pays off.
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Last edited by A_Spock_Darkly on Mon Jun 28, 2010 1:00 am; edited 2 times in total
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Darkword
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If It's someone I like or someone who just looks good, I usually end up gawking(I try not to, but it happens anyway) if I don't see them coming. If I'm in a situation where this sort of person is looking at me, regardless of the reason, I usually blush a bit. Otherwise it's not a problem.
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NearlyaHuman
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't properly make eye contact with anyone.
All kinds of eye contact irritate my brain, doesn't matter who. I try to do it anyway though.
It's more difficult to talk to attractive people of either gender if I also have anxiety.
I either stare or don't look at all.
But I can only look when I'm listening. Very hard to keep eye contact and talk at the same time.
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hutchscott
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've taken several dance classes and it is amazing how many people can't hold eye contact. I don't think it is just an aspie thing. I think it is harder even for neurotypicals to hold eye contact in close personal space with someone of the opposite sex.
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CockneyRebel
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find that it's very hard for me to make eye-contact, with members of the opposite sex. My dad wasn't a very patient person, when I was growing up, though he never laid a hand on me.
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Brandon-J
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to have bad eye contact with females but now it comes easy. As my confidence grew and as i learned more about myself and started working on myself. I gradually got better at it.
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Abstract_Logic
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 5:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have trouble making eye contact with girls. Especially ones that I am particularly attracted to. I try to at least look at them intermittently during conversation so that I don't come off as rude, but my eye contact is nonetheless very fleeting. My frequent looking away might be interpreted as either shyness or oddness, or perhaps both. Some girls might be turned off by it, and others might think it is "cute." When I go to the coffee shop in my neighborhood I sometimes see this girl there whom I find attractive. When I talk to her and say hello or goodbye I try to make eye contact, and most of the time successfully, but sometimes it seems as though my eyes try to resist. I attribute this mainly to my shyness.
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Creature
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 5:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Recognizable, but it differs per person though. Quite confusing. I only have difficulties with eye contact with people of the opposite sex. When I don't know someone, anyone, on the street, I look away. I can only have eye contact with someone I know.
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fleeced
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lack of eye contact has been mentioned to me so many times that i make forced eye contact and tend to stare at males or females. the hole eye contact thing is problem for me.
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CJame
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 6:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A_Spock_Darkly wrote:
My only issue with eye contact these days, is I can establish and hold eye contact fine, but only when I've formerly prepared myself to do so. For instance, I'll sometimes see an attractive girl that I'm interested in meeting and deliberately glance in her direction to catch her eye.

Then there are the attractive girls that I accidentally make eye contact with, often when I didn't even know they were there until it was too late, and then I have a tendancy to look away too soon. I'm still trying to overcome this little speed bump.

It's always a trial of determination and practice caked in discomfort, but it almost always pays off.


Spock, I have the same tendencies with the opposite sex.

I do not have a problem with eye contact with female non-strangers: coworkers, family, and friends.

What's worse for me is when I need to talk to a classmate or a coworker who is wearing a deeply revealing top that shows major cleavage. I am very self conscious about being labeled a pervert so I experience anxiety and focus intently at the eyes, lest I accidentally stance at something else.

I don't like to let women know I think they are physically attractive. Confused
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ToughDiamond
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CJame wrote:

What's worse for me is when I need to talk to a classmate or a coworker who is wearing a deeply revealing top that shows major cleavage. I am very self conscious about being labeled a pervert so I experience anxiety and focus intently at the eyes, lest I accidentally stance at something else.

I don't like to let women know I think they are physically attractive. Confused

I'd find that difficult too.....I tend to feel that if a woman insists on sexualising herself like that, then she's going to get looked at and she isn't really suitable material for a serious conversation, because of the distraction. But it's rare that anybody else will voice agreement with me on this, so I have to keep up this pretence that everything is perfectly normal. I do quite well, but it's not easy and mostly I avoid those who are dressed to kill.

I know what you mean about not liking to let women know when you're attracted to them. It seems to be part of the game that we can't just say how we feel. Sad But sometimes it's OK. Most of the time I can stay fairly calm about sex, and just see how lovely some of the women are, without it acquiring a lot of weight.....then I can just say that I like this or that about them.

As for eye contact, I'm not doing too badly these days with either sex, though I still forget to bother a lot of the time. I don't get much emotional information from it, but it seems to keep people a bit more relaxed when they're talking with me.
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Who_Am_I
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find eye contact easier with members of the opposite sex. I find all social things easier with members of the opposite sex.
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