Falling back down.

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Yep, I wasn't depressed for a few days (I'd say a week maximum), but now I'm back.

I'll never do anything to harm myself, ever. I'm too much of a wimp to do so, I'm all talk when it comes to that. But that doesn't mean I didn't wish I could just turn myself off and not exist any more. I won't do anything, but the feelings are still there.

I'm just missing having a girlfriend. Somebody there for me, who I can love and be loved by.

90% of you have left because I'm not going to hurt myself, thinking I'm fine. But I don't feel fine. I'm so lonely.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpksSIPB270[/youtube]

I wouldn't look to a girlfriend to fix all your problems. That'll just lead to codependency, which is hardly the best foundation for a successful relationship.

Try to break the destructive cycle of depression somehow. You'll be happier overall, and I'm told that people who are happier in themselves are more likely to form relationships anyway. Have you tried CBT?

You and most definitely NOT a wimp Jookia. It is actually strength to not self harm. *Hug*
I know how you are feeling. Things have been a little rough here at times too.
Stay strong friend. I know that life will pick up for you. It will.
Time and patience are the greatest of strengths if you channel them well. If you work out how to get the most out of time for what you are doing, and if you are patient enough to not let emotions overwhelm you too much, although we do need to express ourselves if they do at times.

I hope you feel much better very soon Jookia. I was down just recently too, after feeling alright.

Pain is an illusion. You are better than it.

You have my support. ^^ *Hug*

Good day to you Jookia.

How about paramedics? I see that you're 15. I think in some areas you can function as a junior paramedic at age 16, which means that you could begin training pretty much right now.

Or, how about your school's debate team?

And in general if you can put yourself in a position to meet slightly older girls, like age 16 or 17. And keeping in mind that maybe only one of out five groups really clicks, so modest expectations, . . . but when you and a girl connect it seems to work so easily and all you have to be is yourself!

Hi Jookia,

I wish I could offer more in the way of advice. This happens to me too--up for a while, then back down, and I can't even pinpoint a cause.

For me, staying busy/occupied helps a lot. What Aardvark suggested is a good idea/start--find something(s) you're interested in and immerse yourself in that.

KaiG is right--a significant other does NOT solve problems like this. In fact, it might make things worse because you'd be looking for another person to make you feel better. That never works, ever. "Codependency" is the correct word--not a good idea.

Feel free to PM me if you just want to talk. I can't always reply immediately, but I will reply asap.

Take care.

I know.


No.


Homeschooled.

Jookia, even though you're homeschooled, I know Tim Tebow in the United States (football player, Florida), there was a controversy when he was high school aged because he could basically pick whatever high school he wanted to play football with. There was a state law that homeschooled students still could participate in extracurriculars, etc., I think, some of the details were a little murky, and of course things might be way different in Austrailia.

Now, okay, about debate, I need to correct something, or add to something, Looking back when I took debate as a 10th grader way, way back in schoolyear 1978-1979 (yes, '78-79) (and the topic was energy policy!), it wasn't all that great, the teacher was authoritarian, when the kids were race horses, they were gunners, she didn't need to be that way at all, took a lot of the fun out of it. We couldn't do C-X (cross-examination) debate until we had already been in it one year (?). I mean, how hard can it possibly be? I can see one tournament watching, but a whole year? And then, this part almost hurts the most, none of the older kids, who I often connect with, took an interest in us, or at least not in me, unlike ROTC, and the older kids are often who I can connect with the most on an intellectual level.

So, maybe just try a couple of debate tournaments first, or a few of any of this type of thing, before taking a whole class. Maybe, trust your gut on this.

or perhaps local or state politics (in some ways more interesting and meaningful than national politics)

or maybe orienteering club?

Mine also comes and goes a bit, and right now it is fairly heavy. Just about everything I might do seems laborious and pointless, including leaning on the edge of the table here and keeping my hands sufficiently elevated for typing. But even if whatever I am hoping for the future never happens, I will have endured whatever I must in order to get there and find out.