men opinion on abortion

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I want to touch a very controversial topic ABORTIONS.
but with a twist I wan't men to speak up on where they stand.
and women take on what the men have to say on the matter.
please ( if your a child stay out)

I voted no.


Her body...her choice.

His body...his choice.

Simple as that IMO.

I think the woman should have the final say, but it should be at least discussed with the father.

any more people come on people say something.

The only reason why the man has a say is because its his sperm in her system. The only logical way to stop men having a say is to not have intercourse with a man to get pregnant, but to collect his sperm and the woman inserts it into herself.

Legally, it should be up to the woman as she is carrying the child and putting her life and health at risk. No one should have the right to invade the bodily autonomy of another person unless it is for a very good reason.
If a couple is in a healthy relationship - morally, I'd say that it should be a decision they at least discuss together.

Caveat emptor. If a guy wants a baby then he should be with a woman who wants a baby (or adopt and not contribute to the overpopulation...selfish jerks). If they're married, I'd say it'd be grounds for a divorce since they have different priorities (irreconcilable differences) but I wouldn't penalize the woman otherwise.

I view abortion from the "sanctity of life" perspective, and there are other reasons in addition why I believe that it is wrong. And I won't deny that my feelings on it are guided by religious and moral motivations.

In the case when a complicated pregnancy that threatens the life of the mother: As I try to base my own morality on the Bible, the issue becomes such that a woman is placed in a position of self-defense. She is threatened, even if the threat is not the direct FAULT of the baby. She has the moral responsibility to decide whether she can save herself by killing the baby and eliminating the threat. From a Biblical perspective, it's a case of involuntary manslaughter vs. self-defense. Now, I also believe that it is a noble thing for a person to lay down their own life to save another. Giving birth at great personal risk is a noble thing that shows great strength of character and spirit. The mother has no obligation to do so, but in this day and age considering the medical alternatives that can ensure the life of the mother in even the most dangerous of circumstances, a woman may give her life full knowing the risks and yet maintaining the faith that there is a possibility she may survive. If survival is a guarantee, I think the obligation is to give birth. But if not, at the very least one may say that everything that could have been done WAS done, and an abortion may take place which the mother may undergo with a clear conscience. She COULD give her life if she feels prepared to, but she has no obligation.

This is something that has struck home with me, something I've had to prepare myself emotionally for. So don't think I'm just an impersonal man that doesn't have to worry about what would happen to me in a purely hypothetical situation.

When my wife became pregnant with our daughter, it was an unwanted pregnancy from the very start. It was too soon after our son had been born, we weren't interested in having more children at the time, and because we opted to have a little fun rather than make a quick trip to the nearest pharmacy, we made that ONE mistake. But at the same time, neither of us believe that abortion is right, so we just simply began emotionally preparing ourselves for what was to happen.

About 3 or 4 months into the pregnancy, we discovered my wife had placenta previa, a condition that makes natural childbirth impossible. As the mother progresses through pregnancy, the risk increases for the placenta to tear. This means the baby will be unable to receive oxygen and possibly even bleed out through the cord. Though the risk to the birth mother is slightly less, there is still a high risk that she can bleed to death.

So in the 7th month, with 6 weeks left before the EARLIEST due date, my wife makes a casual run to the restroom when she suddenly discovers she's bleeding profusely. We calmly get to the car after which I rush her to a hospital in the next county where her usual OB practices, normally a 45 minute drive.

Now, I love my wife more than anything. I told the doc I didn't care what happened to the baby, just make sure he does everything he can do to make sure my wife is ok. It would have completely destroyed my wife if something happened to our little girl, even a little girl we didn't want. But I was ready for that if it came to it. So, as a man who loves his wife, I have no problem with killing to protect her, even if the threat comes from within (figuratively and literally).

Unrelated, but even though we never wanted our little girl, we can't imagine our life without her. She was born too early, too small, too underweight, but now she won't hesitate to inflict pain on her older brother. We're probably horrible parents for this, but we actually encourage them to fight. Reasoning: It toughens them up, teaches them how to strengthen their own relationship with each other by naturally exploring proper and improper means of conflict resolution, and amuses us as their parents (aw, honey, look! They're KILLING each other! Can I have some more Valium, please?). What's genuinely touching is how affectionate they are towards each other and how sensitive they are to each others' feelings. They're close enough in age and growing so fast people sometimes ask if they're twins.

Let alone the other reasons against abortion, THIS is what killing a baby really destroys. I'm married to the mother of my children, and STILL a situation caught up with us in which we weren't in a much different or better position than a teenage mom. I won't EVEN discuss all the things that happened to us after Hannah was born, so suffice it to say that getting visits from social workers after someone with a grudge calls DHS on you isn't fun. But having babies even for those who are well-off to do so isn't fun or convenient. Having an abortion just because a child is unwanted or just because "we only did it that one time" is a horrible reason to do so. If you can't care for a child, adoption IS an alternative. It's not easy, but at least it isn't destructive. I'm very much in favor of open adoptions if young parents can mentally and emotionally handle it because it sends the message that AT LEAST the reason why the child was given up was not because the birth parents hated him or her. It gives you a chance to know the child without having the responsibility of raising the child yourself. Don't deny a child you helped create the joys of life.

Something that p!sses me off is how often the father (since we're talking about men here) distances himself from the responsibility of children. On the one hand, my kids are terribly inconvenient and often interrupt my work. But on the other hand, while I'm sitting at my keyboard writing or recording a song and my children come in and start competing for my attention, it's just as easy to snatch both of them up, run to the boy's room, and watch them jump on the bed while playing Kraftwerk videos on Youtube (they LOVE "Autobahn"). I mean, my toddlers are CRAZY about Kraftwerk!! !! WTF??? Everyone else is watching Barney and Spongebob, and my kids are learning to appreciate techno.

I would think that would-be fathers would be more encouraging of abortion because it's an easy way out. Given my own somewhat reluctant experience, I have to admit that it looks to me the easy way out SUCKS. These "men" aren't really men at all, in my opinion. My wife actually has a day job, is exhausted by the time she gets the kids home, and doesn't really even feel much like peanut butter sandwiches or hamburger helper at the end of the day. So while she decompresses in front of whatever crap she's watching on HGTV, I get the pleasure of listening to little boy and little girl giggles while I demonstrate some professional wrestling moves on them on the bed. You can't tell me being a father isn't worth it! The only scary part about it is the uncertainty leading up to it the first time. It's scary because you have to wonder about how you're going to deal with all the changes in your life. In all honesty, it's not really that much of a change. More like you have an extra roommate in your house. That's really it. They're more like pets than people the first couple of years, and then they're just fun (except, I hear, during a brief time between 8 and 10 years and later between 14 and 16, by which time you start wondering why it's so quiet in the house).

I think it's the wrong question. Of course men should have an opinion. All people are entitled to opinions on all subjects.

The question should be, "What weight should be given to a father's opinion in the assessment of whether or not to terminate a pregnancy?"

Both personally (as a man) and professionally (as a physician), I think abortion is a question for a pregnant woman to decide herself, in consultation with her physician, and as many other people as she chooses to involve in the discussion. For some women, that would be no one else. For other women, the circle may be much broader.

women what do you think of what the men have said. don't be shy

I just think that sure, it is true that women should have all the saying on abortion or not. But in case the father preferred an abortion and the mother didn't, it is only fair that the father loses all the obligations.

If the decision of having children or not is 100% on the mother's side, so should all the responsibilities. It is rather asymmetric when a side gets 100% of the decision power but only 50% of the responsibility for the decision. If women should get, as I think is fair 100% of the decision power, they should also get all the responsibility (unless a contract such a marriage is in place, of course)

I mean, assume that a woman had all the 100% right to decide whether to abort or not. If the baby is born and it turns out the woman cannot maintain the baby, then it is 100% the woman's fault as she should have taken the decision to abort. In the current way of events, the father would still have obligations to the child even though the decision to have the child was not on him, at all.

Note that rape is a different topic and men that incur to it should as always get all the weight of law on them (in those cases abortion should be forced by the state, really)

Decisions and responsibility for the decision should go together.

PS: I personally don't care as I do not really have any interest in sex whether for reproduction or not.