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I wish I had a boyfriend! 1, 2  Next  
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zeldapsychology
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: May 05, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 3324
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 11:14 am    Post subject: I wish I had a boyfriend! Reply with quote

Sorry to make ANOTHER topic on this but I just clicked FB and saw my friend/her BF pic. of them together I HATE IT! and am in a way jealous! I WANT THAT! I want a boyfriend to hug up on talk too etc. Part of me though wants to focus on college work so that's good. but I'm always seeing pics. of those 2 on FB. Sad I guess I need to not think about it as much. Sadly as a child who was homeschooled as a female Aspie I've never learned this mimicry behavior that I hear so much about. Sad So going back to college I've considered trying this behavior since it supposedly has worked for other Aspies (acting NT) as they say. When reading on AS females it mentions friends we have while young are nurting and supportive then they go there separate ways therefore the Aspie female has no friends. THIS IS ME! I had nurting caring friends but now NOTHING! Sad I hope I can do this mimicry stuff and be a better NT (I'm not so sure though) Sad
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Kilroy
I'm not David Bowie
Phoenix


Joined: Apr 25, 2007
Posts: 13321
Location: Beyond the Void

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 11:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well collage is a good place to start
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Negolin
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker


Joined: Mar 01, 2010
Age: 44
Posts: 175

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 11:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

find or start an aspie group on campus.
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Rodland
Blue Jay
Blue Jay


Joined: Jul 20, 2010
Posts: 83
Location: finland

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 11:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

To find a boyfriend try some on-line dating site (such as OKcupid which is free) if you have not already tried.

You don't necessarily get anything from there but it's fun anyway to check out if there are any interesting people in your city

I find myself on-line dating sites the most easiest way to approach people when looking for sexual relationship
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Lene
born to lurk
Phoenix


Joined: Nov 28, 2007
Posts: 3543
Location: East China Sea

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 12:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zelda, I was in exactly your situation when I started college. Looking back (and isn't hindsight great Confused ), I'd really recommend forgetting about worrying and just be yourself. Join clubs if you like them, hang around wih people you like (unless they appear to be avoiding you) and be friendly with everyone you meet.

College is big enough that some people will like the real you, and if you don't meet the 'guy of your dreams' by being yourself, then you won't if you try to be someone else either, you'll just end up with an identity crisis.

Simple rules; be nice, learn a few body signals (i.e. how to tell when people are bored) and smile. Smile
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Phoenix


Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 32
Posts: 14785
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Erisad was used to whine like you " Waaa, all other girls have bfs" , "Waaa, guys don't like me , I am fat" . She stopped this since she got a new date.


I really hope that you get a bf ASAP, so you can stop all this whining.
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Pistonhead
Really That Big
Phoenix


Joined: Jun 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 4732
Location: Bradenton, Florida

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Those are all the wrong reasons to want a boyfriend. Try actually liking someone for a change rather than just expecting someone to do everything you want for you so you can have everything your friend has.
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DemonAbyss10
The Drill That Pierces The Heavens
Phoenix


Joined: Aug 24, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 2508
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pistonhead wrote:
Those are all the wrong reasons to want a boyfriend. Try actually liking someone for a change rather than just expecting someone to do everything you want for you so you can have everything your friend has.



quoted for truth
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 25
Posts: 13062
Location: United States

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Erisad was used to whine like you " Waaa, all other girls have bfs" , "Waaa, guys don't like me , I am fat" . She stopped this since she got a new date.


I really hope that you get a bf ASAP, so you can stop all this whining.


Lol. Hi Boo. XD

Yeah, I opened an OkCupid account. Even though I already have a date scheduled for when I go back to school (so he won't get scared off by my mom) I still get messages from guys on there. Some of them are interesting and I message back and others are so stupid that I don't reply.

Point being, look but not too hard. Seriously, being a girl on a dating site you'll have guys messaging you before you know. Granted, I still sent some messages out myself because it doesn't hurt to be a bit friendly.


Last edited by Erisad on Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ChekaMan
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker


Joined: Aug 18, 2010
Age: 36
Posts: 184
Location: Whitstable,UK

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would be happy to date you and maybe, if it worked out for us, become your boyfriend, but I am 32 years old, probebly a bit old for you.
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kissmyarrrtichoke
Toucan
Toucan


Joined: Apr 12, 2009
Posts: 288
Location: Oxford

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ditto. I'm 19 and have never even kissed anyone, whereas many of my friends are drifting off with boyfriends and I feel very left out. I'm too scared to admit my feelings to people, though I have only ever had one, possibly two crushes, so I don't know whether I will ever find anyone I love, and above all who can cope with my eccentricities. Hopefully what they say about there 'being someone out there for everyone' is true.
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bewarethebob
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Apr 05, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 627

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yup.
it blows.

i want that too
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Seanmw
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 26, 2009
Age: 24
Posts: 3639
Location: Bremerton, WA

PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 3:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wishing you luck on your upcoming boyfriend-hunting expedition in the wilds of suburbia. remember to switch out the bullets for tranquilizer darts thumleft
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 25
Posts: 13062
Location: United States

PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kissmyarrrtichoke wrote:
Ditto. I'm 19 and have never even kissed anyone, whereas many of my friends are drifting off with boyfriends and I feel very left out. I'm too scared to admit my feelings to people, though I have only ever had one, possibly two crushes, so I don't know whether I will ever find anyone I love, and above all who can cope with my eccentricities. Hopefully what they say about there 'being someone out there for everyone' is true.


I didn't get my first kiss until I was 19. So who knows? It could happen this year. Wink
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OddFiction
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Aug 10, 2010
Age: 38
Posts: 1090
Location: Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was never involved with dating until I was 20/21 and yet I had feelings for girls (one girl especiallly) up to that point - I was always just too nervous to approach. When I was in my late 20's, I was approached by a girl I worked with.

It wasn't the best relationship ever - but it was good, and introduced me to the real world of dating and I found that it was good. I'm 34 now and have had three other relationships with women - all of whom approached me.

My best advice is to find a guy who tries to find you in order to spend time talking to you about topics you share interest in, and assume he is interested in you. Go from there.

I didn't lose out by not dating until later in life. In fact I think being alone that long helped me learn to be confident in my own self and satisfied in my own company, which makes dating a lot healthier and a lot less painful when you don't have it. Enjoy single. Embrace yourself. And the right guy will come along at the right time, and you'll connect.
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