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petrel
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19 Nov 2010, 8:26 am

I've been reading everything and listening to podcasts (UCDavis MIND has some good podcasts on autism and aspergers)..

Everything seems to agree that there is little empirical evidence that social skills classes really produce measurable long term benefits.

My daughter is in a therapy group for teen girls which is nominally labeled as a social skills group..not specifically for autism spectrum issues, it also deals with anger management and ADHD and other things, but largely it does focus on social issues. It seems to be a positive experience for her, and I'm not inclined to change it. But mostly what she's getting out of it is a chance to talk about her life and whatever troubles she may be having, and a chance to see that other girls also struggle. Whatever, it's hugely beneficial to her outlook on life.

But I keep thinking she could really use to have specific practice with reading expressions, tone of voice, etc. which I don't think they're really doing at her group. It may be an issue that's too specific to her to benefit others. Or, reading these studies, perhaps it just doesn't really help. What do you all think?



DW_a_mom
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19 Nov 2010, 5:12 pm

I honestly don't know. I kind of take things moment by moment. Grab everything that is offered to me that I don't have to pay for (as long as my son is on board with it, of course), seek solutions when I see specific and important issues looming, work with my child myself best I can on the things I actually "get," and as long as I'm seeing my child happy and thriving and moving forward (more or less, it is never perfect) I assume I can call it a day.

If you see a need, you find something that might address it. There aren't enough hours in the day for our kids to work on every little skill, and we wouldn't want to over-schedule them, anyway. So, you're constantly picking your battles and making choices. I realize it is really easy to get guilt-ed into wondering if you've done "everything you can," but I also think it is important to actively fight that mentality if (important if) you have a child that seems to be progressing and seems to be relatively comfortable in his or her own skin. Get on that merry-go-round, of doing "everything you can," and you'll end up frustrated, exhausted, and broke. And, odds are, your child won't be any better off for it. You know when the need dictates that you do it anyway, because the momma bear kicks in and you are driven towards finding a solution. When you find yourself sitting on fence going maybe, maybe not ... I'm kind of learning that it means the need isn't real enough to invest in. We'll save that energy and financial investment for the next true crisis.

My son does get some social skills, basically through speech, and the format has varied. This year they are having lunch bunches. He doesn't mind the speech classes, and he likes lunch bunches, but he has mixed feelings about the effectiveness of the therapy overall. He's getting a good handle on what he is supposed to do, but doing it remains quite a problem. He has also often said that one problem with speech therapy is that it doesn't teach anything about middle school slang and lingo, and that it is that slang that confuses him most.

How is that for a non-answer answer?

FYI, my son did a group similar to your daughter's a few years ago, and that seems to have been very productive for him. I'm not exactly sure how, but he grew up during that year and he liked the group quite a lot.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


bjtao
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19 Nov 2010, 9:04 pm

My son is in social skills class. He very much enjoys it and his social skills and verbal expression have significantly increased. I believe his improvement is due to many factors, not just the social skills class.



Mumofsweetautiegirl
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20 Nov 2010, 4:53 am

I'm looking into some social skills groups for my daughter. With that said, I don't necessarily believe that a social skills group is the best way for a child to learn social kills, or that it should be relied on as the only or primary source of getting your child to learn social skills. I see it as more of an add-on for learning social skills. I think social skills are best learnt by immersion in society and by giving your child as many opportunities as possible to be around or interact with other people, in a variety of contexts and with a variety of people. My daughter is learning social skills from her mainstream classroom, her ASD classroom, my friend's kids, neighborhood kids, the playground down the street, her siblings and her cousins. :)



liloleme
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20 Nov 2010, 7:11 am

For my 8 year old son who was bullied in the private school we sent him to at 4 & 5 his social group really helped him to bounce back and want to be social again. He still has difficulties and I agree that you cant depend only on a social group but it was kind of like a spring board for him. He is in a public school now in France and has made a close friend and his teacher says he desires to be part of the group in play and school work. He also has an aide at school now that helps a lot.



DenvrDave
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21 Nov 2010, 1:31 am

Hi petrel, we had very positive experiences with social groups when my son was transitioning from elementary to middle school, during the ages of 10 to 14. Very helpful. One possible suggestion would be to talk to the group leader and ask if they could devote sessions to the things you listed, like having one session on reading expressions. A good social skills group leader will be open to and even welcome suggestions from parents. Especially if you're paying their bill. Good luck :D



petrel
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21 Nov 2010, 3:31 pm

Interesting replies.. its true what she's doing is hhelping her general outlook, so in that sense it's worth it and we will keep it.

I just wondered about specific social skills issues. Reading your answers, I also realize I have no real idea what they typically work on in these.. I mean, she knows basic manners and ettiquette. Not that she's comfortable - she totally isn't and could use practice with typical everyday interactions. Sadly she gets very little since she is socially isolated, even in a group. But she could also use practice with more subtle things. I don't know if that's even typically addressed in 'social skills' class or if really they just do the more superficial things.

Good idea to ask the group leader. I'll do that tomorrow. Thanks all.



momsparky
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21 Nov 2010, 7:52 pm

DW, if you can trust your son with this information (sadly, there's a lot of slang that is not kid-friendly) I use this: http://www.urbandictionary.com/