| How many of you lost your virginity by 19? |
| Yes |
|
6% |
[ 5 ] |
| Yes |
|
6% |
[ 5 ] |
| No |
|
43% |
[ 35 ] |
| No |
|
43% |
[ 35 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 80 |
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thechadmaster
Addicted To Driving
Joined: Feb 14, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 1120
Location: On The Road...Somewhere
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 Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:45 am Post subject: Why Can't I Get a Date? |
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If this sounds like a rant, i'm sorry....
i am a 19yo straight male, who has never had a "real" date, what i mean is.
take this example from last friday night... a girl that i work with (shall remain nameless) asked me if i wanted to go to a indie rock concert at a local underground club, i said yes
(a SEVERE lapse in my predictable judgement) but i had a good time, and even got into a mosh pit, (i never do that) i was trying to get out of my predictable boring self, and i suceeded for a couple hours, on the way home we stopped ina parking lot behind the mall (after hours), she grabbed me and kissed me (that's all... seriously), then she took me home. the next day i was having second thoughts about the sincerety of the date, granted we had been good friends for almost a year, but something was amiss, come to find out, she had asked every guy at work to go with her, because her father has a rule that she cannot go to a club, without someone with her. the next day at work, she was stone cold to me, i asked her if she wanted to do something next weekend (now today) but she told me she had to "clean her fishtank". come to find out, she was just using me, to go out.
but, things have always been like this, i cannot get a date, people tell me to cheer up and realize "youre only 19, you have your whole life and somoeone will come along"
bullshite, dont they watch movies like "ameican pie"? I am missing a rite of passage, not by choice, by force. Me and my aspie self could never be able to drive a car so i missed that rite of passage. I am missing out on so much, do you know what i am going to do after work tonight when everyone else from work is out enjoying themselves? i am going to sit at home, put a frozen dinner in the microwave, and listen to some emo music. when people at work tell me about the time that they had last night, i want to beat the living sh** out of them for "rubbing it in my face all the damn time". I do not have depression, but there are times when i just get sad/lonely, usually in the evenings,
in american society, it is shameful to be 19 and still a virgin, it is every man's RIGHT to have children, for once, it was not the U.S. government who did not deprive me of this right.
Taking the Lord's name in vain, to me is much more vulgar than the word "f**k" but last saturday, i almost used it, for the first time since 6th grade when i hit my thumb with a hammer, during shop class.
Call me cynical but i hate love.
thank you for your time in reading this.
_________________
I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. |
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Sorce
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 03, 2005
Age: 28
Posts: 621
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| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 10:01 am Post subject: |
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That's surprising. At my old job everyone knew about everyone else's love life because most of the people there had big mouths. You just need to get yourself out there more. Going to a concert is a big step, and you're already ahead of people on this site so don't feel so bad. Look up threads of people that have never been kissed. I'm a 21-year-old virgin in America, and I don't feel too pressured to lose it now. It also helps that I don't take love advice from movies such as American Pie. Everyone does have the right to have children, but are you even in the position to take care of a child right now? As far as going out with your co-workers, have you ever asked to go with them?
edited because it's too early in the morning to write. |
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thechadmaster
Addicted To Driving
Joined: Feb 14, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 1120
Location: On The Road...Somewhere
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| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 10:07 am Post subject: |
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thanx sorce, as a matter of fact, i have asked around, ususally i get a blank stare or even a "what the hell are you thinking?" everyone is taken
_________________
I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. |
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unclenutcracker
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 03, 2006
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 10:54 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, you sound kind of like me at that age. Sigh... romance can be extremely frustrating and bad for the self-esteem. Unfortunately, that doesn't keep the hormones in check. I don't know, I think a lot of people get a creepy/wierd vibe from us. That and... some people think it is OK to take advantage of us since we don't immediately understand what is going on.
I lost my virginity with a fellow "disturbed" virgin girl two months before I turned 19 (she was 19 at the time). Heh, we are still dating (thought we've slept with other people at points). Annoyingly, sex gets easier to find when you aren't looking for it anymore. |
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lastwish
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: May 21, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 181
Location: uk
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| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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i am 19, never had a real date either (or even a fake one) mostly because since i left school i never talk to any girls.
having the confidence to go to a club is a lot better than me m8
i think things will work out eventually.. |
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theMascaraSnake
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 06, 2005
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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| lastwish wrote: |
i think things will work out eventually.. |
stop kidding yourself
I'm in my 40's, 30 years or so of puberty and I've had access to sex for about 5 years of that max, currently 4 years since I was with anyone and that was very brief and 3 years before that
sorry to strike a note of realism but it's better to know these things |
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thechadmaster
Addicted To Driving
Joined: Feb 14, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 1120
Location: On The Road...Somewhere
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| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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| unclenutcracker wrote: | | Annoyingly, sex gets easier to find when you aren't looking for it anymore. |
heard that one a hundred times, tried not looking, got lonlier
exactly: mascarasnake
_________________
I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. |
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ELLCIM
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 23, 2005
Posts: 513
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:51 pm Post subject: |
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| thechadmaster wrote: | | unclenutcracker wrote: | | Annoyingly, sex gets easier to find when you aren't looking for it anymore. |
heard that one a hundred times, tried not looking, got lonlier |
Yeah, you're right. If I were to be "not looking", I'd fall under the radar and nobody would notice me. That's what happens every time and I end up getting frustrated. I'm one of those people that doesn't get noticed until I put myself out there and seek attention. As an elderly gentleman said to me at work today, just sitting around doesn't get you anywhere. It's unfortunate but that's the life of an Aspie. |
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pineapple
Phoenix
Joined: May 01, 2006
Age: 28
Posts: 622
Location: california
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| Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 11:30 pm Post subject: Re: Why Can't I Get a Date? |
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| thechadmaster wrote: | If this sounds like a rant, i'm sorry....
I am missing a rite of passage, not by choice, by force. |
Hey. I used to think this too, but man, let me tell ya...this viewpoint on virginity that you have can only lead to pain. 
When you're super-eager to lose your virginity, you can easily end up jumping into things that you may regret. Don't mean to sound like your mom here, but it's true. 
You can't tell if people are virgins by looking at them. Believe me, people are not having as much fun as you think. There's lots of people that hold off on sex, for a lot of reasons. |
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Enigmatic_Oddity
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 05, 2005
Posts: 1995
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| Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 12:55 am Post subject: |
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| The incident with the girl kissing you in the car park sounds suspect to me. Are you sure she was just using you to go out? It's not like she had to kiss you to get you to come out with her... maybe she is attracted to you and is denying it for some messed up reason. |
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theSPECTRE
Toucan
Joined: Aug 25, 2004
Posts: 260
Location: USA PA
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| Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 2:02 am Post subject: Re: Why Can't I Get a Date? |
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| thechadmaster wrote: | If this sounds like a rant, i'm sorry....
i am a 19yo straight male, who has never had a "real" date, what i mean is.
take this example from last friday night... a girl that i work with (shall remain nameless) asked me if i wanted to go to a indie rock concert at a local underground club, i said yes
(a SEVERE lapse in my predictable judgement) but i had a good time, and even got into a mosh pit, (i never do that) i was trying to get out of my predictable boring self, and i suceeded for a couple hours, on the way home we stopped ina parking lot behind the mall (after hours), she grabbed me and kissed me (that's all... seriously), then she took me home. the next day i was having second thoughts about the sincerety of the date, granted we had been good friends for almost a year, but something was amiss, come to find out, she had asked every guy at work to go with her, because her father has a rule that she cannot go to a club, without someone with her. the next day at work, she was stone cold to me, i asked her if she wanted to do something next weekend (now today) but she told me she had to "clean her fishtank". come to find out, she was just using me, to go out.
but, things have always been like this, i cannot get a date, people tell me to cheer up and realize "youre only 19, you have your whole life and somoeone will come along"
bullshite, dont they watch movies like "ameican pie"? I am missing a rite of passage, not by choice, by force. Me and my aspie self could never be able to drive a car so i missed that rite of passage. I am missing out on so much, do you know what i am going to do after work tonight when everyone else from work is out enjoying themselves? i am going to sit at home, put a frozen dinner in the microwave, and listen to some emo music. when people at work tell me about the time that they had last night, i want to beat the living sh** out of them for "rubbing it in my face all the damn time". I do not have depression, but there are times when i just get sad/lonely, usually in the evenings,
in american society, it is shameful to be 19 and still a virgin, it is every man's RIGHT to have children, for once, it was not the U.S. government who did not deprive me of this right.
Taking the Lord's name in vain, to me is much more vulgar than the word "f***" but last saturday, i almost used it, for the first time since 6th grade when i hit my thumb with a hammer, during shop class.
Call me cynical but i hate love.
thank you for your time in reading this. |
That excatly what I've been saying!
_________________
In this country. You gotta have the money. Then when you get the money you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get the woman.
-Tony Mantanna
-Scarface
Say Good Night to the bad guy - Tony Montana
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Xuincherguixe
High Priest of the Followers of Squiggy
Joined: May 10, 2006
Posts: 1419
Location: Victoria, BC
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| Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 2:54 am Post subject: |
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| theMascaraSnake wrote: | | lastwish wrote: |
i think things will work out eventually.. |
stop kidding yourself
I'm in my 40's, 30 years or so of puberty and I've had access to sex for about 5 years of that max, currently 4 years since I was with anyone and that was very brief and 3 years before that
sorry to strike a note of realism but it's better to know these things |
Things will work out if you force them to work out.
We're all far more powerful then we realize. And even if we don't have that kind of power? We can grow till we get it.
Things are not hopeless. There is a solution, it might not be easy to find, it's probably going to be hard. But the hard things are the only ones worth doing.
We shouldn't buy into this powerless nonsense. Even if for some reason you are. Because at least then you can struggle.And the best struggles are the ones you can't win. And you know, maybe you're wrong about the whole 'no hope' thing.
So yeah. I don't think that things will get better on their own. But that doesn't mean they can't get better. |
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jonathan79
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 02, 2006
Posts: 532
Location: FoCo
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| Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:11 am Post subject: |
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| Sorce wrote: | | It also helps that I don't take love advice from movies such as American Pie. |
Yes, that does help!  |
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SkippyP
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 08, 2006
Posts: 72
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| Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 11:14 am Post subject: |
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| If it's that big a deal for you, maybe you should just get an escort and get it over with. That might even be better, because there will be no social akwardness; she'll leave afterwards. |
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thechadmaster
Addicted To Driving
Joined: Feb 14, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 1120
Location: On The Road...Somewhere
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| Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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| SkippyP wrote: | | If it's that big a deal for you, maybe you should just get an escort and get it over with. That might even be better, because there will be no social akwardness; she'll leave afterwards. |
I dont want an escort, i want a real relationship thank you for the advice though
_________________
I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. |
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