Why don't women like me?

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I am a guy in his 20s. I'm single and a virgin for life due to the fact that I'm overweight and don't shower often enough. But that shouldn't matter, should it? Why do women have to be so shallow? All I want is a decent, good-looking girlfriend (7/10 or higher) who isn't concerned with superficial things like looks.

I'm starting to lose hope. I've been playing the numbers game for quite some time, must have asked out at least 60 women in the past year. All of them rejected me because they're shallow bit¢hes who judge me by things that don't matter. I have no male friends; I only have friendships with women, and most of these friendships are the result of my (so far) fruitless attempts to get in their pants.

I am really desperate. I have no interests or hobbies other than sitting around in my room wishing I was getting laid. I have no job and live with my parents. Maybe if I made $100,000 a year and drove a Mustang, girls would go for me. I don't know; I just wish someone would love me. I don't even care about sex anymore. I just want a relationship. Why does prostitution have to be illegal?

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've been friend-zoned so many times it's not funny. Can anyone please help me?

I hope this is sarcastic...

Maybe it's NOT that they are shallow and they have other GOOD reasons to reject you like you make weird advances on them or something.

Seriously, if you're a virgin you shouldn't be so obsessed with getting laid, after you've had sex 1000 times (literally) you'll start missing your hand and those fast jerk off sessions.

FYI don't drive a Mustang to pick up girls. Maybe if it's a V6 convertible (women hate GOOD engines and solid GOOD roofs) with the "warriors in pink" (breast cancer) package and you fill the trunk with Smirnoff it will have some sex appeal. With your $100,000 income you'd be better off with a Maserati GranTurismo (it's been scientifically proven that the sound of a Maserati makes women want it) or maybe a Ferrari California. You could also try a Mazda MX-5, Porsche Boxster and all the little cute cars.

Also, get a hobby. At least start coding or something since you promote Debian.

God, not this crap again. If we offered you any advice, would you even take it or do you just want to b***h for it's own sake?

1) Take a shower more often. Is that so hard? Take one at least every other day, and at any time you want. Smelling bad makes people not want to be around you even if the people you are around are just acquaintances. Smelling bad when trying to date is just a plain turnoff.

2) You are being pretty shallow yourself. Trying to build a relationship in a week and only to get laid? Considering you aren't even trying to being your A-game when it comes to making an impressive first impression, any girl that would be willing to sleep with you now (without you making major changes) is probably more trouble than she's worth.

You need to improve your hygiene and go see a therapist to work on you outlook on relationships. Most people here are not in a position to help you. You need professional help.

So, what's the difference between a satirist and a troll? Usually a book deal and a decent haircut.

Stop whining and take a freakin' bath.

LOL

Listen, I'm really not that shallow. I care about a relationship as well. I'll even buy a girl roses and expensive chocolates before I ask her to sleep with me. And I'm not really going by looks that much. I just want someone who looks somewhat decent, like this:



You know, a 6 or a 7.

Also, there's another reason you should bathe - did you know that food trapped within your skin-folds can get terribly infected?

If bathing isn't an option, I understand that some people keep ferrets for this purpose.

Cute animals are chick-magnets!

Good luck

Ferrets smell worse than LordoftheMonkeys, so it makes no sense why they'd help