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Why does everyone think im Slow or Special?
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user1001
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:16 pm    Post subject: Why does everyone think im Slow or Special? Reply with quote

Or why does everyone thinks that I am retarded?

( Sorry if this offends people.)
I am male and 17 and for some reason everyone thinks that I am retarded or something. I was told that I may have ASD or Aspurgers but I am not sure. I have problems paying attention in class when someone is talking to me and when they do I am like half daydreaming. Plus when someone asks me what we where talking about I would go like What? I don't know why I act like this. I think I have a IQ of 50 to 80 but I am not sure. I am also diagnosed with Degorgie syndrome or VCFS if anyone has heard of that. I am also picked on very easily and I am shy and quiet and socialy akward around people.

The things that bug me the most is when I am being bullied people will come up to me and say things like "Don't pick on him" or they will act all defencive to me and I just find this humiliating. (Sorry if my spelling is bad I am trying to get this out as fast as I can.) I often act like an Idiot and other people call me Idiot when I am near them. They would talk to me and I would just be like responding slowly because I was not paying attention. I would ask this on Yahoo answers but they suck at answering this question. I don't know weather or not that I am retarded but I would like to add more details when I post the rest of this later on. ( I am completlely new to this forum so I am not sure if this is the right seciton to post this in Please tell me if I am.)
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Bloodheart
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:29 pm    Post subject: Re: Why does everyone think im Slow or Special? Reply with quote

Hey! Not all of us over on Yahoo! Answer's suck at answering questions...although granted on this question I may suck at answering it for you. Sorry.

People acted like this with me in high school, I was badly bullied in part because I had constant meltdowns, they seemed to think I was simple or retarded so some other students used to defend me in this way - hell teachers were sometimes the same, it didn't seem to compute that I could be the way I was and not be simple-minded in some way. Now I've noticed people's attitudes and how they talk to me change when I tell them I have asperger's, they talk to me in a quiet soft tone, lean in slightly and speak a little slower, asking me if I understand...it's annoying.

Without knowing you I can't really comment - although I can say you don't have an IQ of 50 to 80 because that is very low, you'd not be able to type this question if that was the case, and by your writing you don't seem stupid, simple, or slow, you maybe have problems that make you seem different to others but that's it. People just don't understand, it's about their ignorance of what is different about you, people think if you're not like them there's something wrong and assume problems like ours mean we can't be as smart or capable as them.
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missykrissy
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

from what you wrote, i'd have to say it's because you say "what?" and "i don't know?" when people ask you questions about something you just heard(but didn't listen cause you got distracted or chose not to listen). there's only so many times that a person can not know what's going on or seem to understand what is said before people start to think they are slow. so basically, your not paying attention which leads you to consistantly not be able to reply appropriatly which effects how people interact with you and what they think of you.
as for getting picked on, you stand out and as a teenager that means you'll be picked on. i am one who is always defending the ones that get picked on. it's not to humiliate them. it's to protect them from bullies who might otherwise get carried away and do something worse than just verbally attack them. if no one tells these people to back off they start to think it's okay to be mean more than they already do. someone has to say something before it gets out of hand.
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danye
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I am also picked on very easily and I am shy and quiet and socialy akward around people.


yep, I was like that, also rubbish at school, bullied because of how I came across and they thought of me as 'thick'.

its far from the case. I have a high IQ but socially not so good.

IQ isnt based on social standing with your peers and at the moment it is a huge and upsetting thing for you, its very hard and also very wrong. Bullies are cowards, they lack something in themselves so act out on others. they are dirt!

You are clearly not retarded, your post was very clear, very indepth and made yourself completely understood.

Spelling also has nothing to do with IQ, some can spell, some cant.
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mgran
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 10:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You obviously have a higher IQ than you think, because your post is clear and coherent. It seems that you have attention difficulties... that has no bearing on IQ. My son is the same... sometimes he seems engaged, engaging, intelligent, articulate... at other times he simply goes blank, and you'd think he was a robot powering down for the night. Don't worry about what other people think. You may grow out of it, or learn coping mechanisms... but you're not retarded.
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pgd
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 1:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Why does everyone think im Slow or Special? Reply with quote

user1001 wrote:
Or why does everyone thinks that I am retarded?

( Sorry if this offends people.)
I am male and 17 and for some reason everyone thinks that I am retarded or something. I was told that I may have ASD or Aspurgers but I am not sure. I have problems paying attention in class when someone is talking to me and when they do I am like half daydreaming. Plus when someone asks me what we where talking about I would go like What? I don't know why I act like this. I think I have a IQ of 50 to 80 but I am not sure. I am also diagnosed with Degorgie syndrome or VCFS if anyone has heard of that. I am also picked on very easily and I am shy and quiet and socialy akward around people.

The things that bug me the most is when I am being bullied people will come up to me and say things like "Don't pick on him" or they will act all defencive to me and I just find this humiliating. (Sorry if my spelling is bad I am trying to get this out as fast as I can.) I often act like an Idiot and other people call me Idiot when I am near them. They would talk to me and I would just be like responding slowly because I was not paying attention. I would ask this on Yahoo answers but they suck at answering this question. I don't know weather or not that I am retarded but I would like to add more details when I post the rest of this later on. ( I am completlely new to this forum so I am not sure if this is the right seciton to post this in Please tell me if I am.)

---
Words: Possible insights may include ADHD Inattentive, central auditory processing disorder (CAPD), petit/absence/TLE/complex partial and so on, subtle speech difficulties. Maybe you have physical features, an expression on your face which many people misinterpret. - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DiGeorge_syndrome - www.vcfsef.org/ - There are some persons who can express themselves far better in writing than verbally. It is not uncommon for some of those persons to be called names like retarded since those persons may not understand speech easily or quickly and may have physical difficulty speaking easily/even breathing easily/normally. - www.values.com/
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eudaimonia
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Why does everyone think im Slow or Special? Reply with quote

Bloodheart wrote:
Now I've noticed people's attitudes and how they talk to me change when I tell them I have asperger's, they talk to me in a quiet soft tone, lean in slightly and speak a little slower, asking me if I understand...it's annoying.


Yeah I get that too.. I went to return a book I'd bought on Asperger's the other day, saying it was not what I wanted, and as soon as the clerk saw the title of the book his attitude towards me changed. He stopped looking at me and, when he went to ring up my credit onto a gift card, he said, "Is this all right for you?" holding the thing up in front of my face.

I asked him if he was new at this.

Sometimes I appreciate it because I know they are trying to be accommodating, so I tend not to find it too annoying. I'd rather be treated gently than be bossed around by everyone, frankly.


Quote:
The things that bug me the most is when I am being bullied people will come up to me and say things like "Don't pick on him" or they will act all defencive to me and I just find this humiliating. (Sorry if my spelling is bad I am trying to get this out as fast as I can.) I often act like an Idiot and other people call me Idiot when I am near them. They would talk to me and I would just be like responding slowly because I was not paying attention.



For one, I am confused as to why it bothers you when people stand up for you while you are being bullied. People sticking up for you in life is rare; appreciate it for what it's worth, it is compassion coming from another human being. They might be sticking up for you because of some judgment about your abilities on their part, but the important thing is that they are trying to show you some kindness.

Second, if someone calls you an idiot for responding slowly, it is because they are not sure of the reason for your slow response. You can always tell them "Could you repeat that? My head was off in dreamland" or something simple like that to show them you are aware of your spaciness.
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user1001
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 8:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What I mean is that when I am picked on I hate being treated like I can't stand up for my self and It just makes it feel like I have to rely on someone to protect me. I find that very frustrating. Also I am wondering am I stupid for being a Junior in a Freshman Math class? I was in there but one of the freshman keeped picking on me for being in there and I feelt really stupid to be in that lower class. I am now out of the class because I was not doing well the rest of the year except on the final. But I would like to know am I stupid for being in a Lower math class?
And one last thing I remembered when I was in cooking class I had a really mean group who thought that I was retarded pecause I would have difficulty with getting the supplies and I woudl also have difficulty with paying attention because my mind is daydreaming and has a headache. So one time I was handleing a knife to cut something and one of the guys said " Don't cut your self" and I asked why and this other girl said that "Oh you just look like you are slow or you look like you do that sort of thing." I feel really emberrased when that happens. I am also Shy and quiet and had self esteem problems to but that is some more reasons why I think that way about my self.
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missykrissy
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 10:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

stop basing your self worth on what other people think of you. it sounds like you have some serious self esteem problems you should look into. no one is exactly as other people see them, especially when that person is already misunderstood because they are different. figure out what you are good at and what makes you feel good and put the time and energy into that instead of worrying about what people who don't really know you think of you. being behind in a class does not make you less of a person or make you stupid. it took me 8 years..yes, EIGHT years to get my highschool diploma. sure people thought i was stupid for taking so long and i got made fun of but the thing is that i did my own way. (not saying you should do this, just sharing) i left highschool in grade 9. i moved out on my own because i felt my family didn't understand me. i was doing horrible at school because i was easily distracted and although i had a couple good friends i was bullied and going to school made me miserable. the next year i signed up for adult ed, which is basically correspondence with the option of going into the school to do your work with help from the teachers. i worked at home. it made my life so much easier. i could have finished alot faster but i didn't want to. i took my time so i could get good marks and make sure i understood everything about what i was learning not just enough to pass a quiz. i also put a lot of my time into other things ie. my special interests which is art and at the time writting. made my life a thousand times better not to have to go to school and hang out with a bunch of losers and stress about deadlines. anyways, you need to look for solutions that will work for you. there has got to be something you can do to help make your life easier and better quality. it's up to you to think it through and come up with something.
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Sweetleaf
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 1:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

user1001 wrote:
What I mean is that when I am picked on I hate being treated like I can't stand up for my self and It just makes it feel like I have to rely on someone to protect me. I find that very frustrating. Also I am wondering am I stupid for being a Junior in a Freshman Math class? I was in there but one of the freshman keeped picking on me for being in there and I feelt really stupid to be in that lower class. I am now out of the class because I was not doing well the rest of the year except on the final. But I would like to know am I stupid for being in a Lower math class?
And one last thing I remembered when I was in cooking class I had a really mean group who thought that I was retarded pecause I would have difficulty with getting the supplies and I woudl also have difficulty with paying attention because my mind is daydreaming and has a headache. So one time I was handleing a knife to cut something and one of the guys said " Don't cut your self" and I asked why and this other girl said that "Oh you just look like you are slow or you look like you do that sort of thing." I feel really emberrased when that happens. I am also Shy and quiet and had self esteem problems to but that is some more reasons why I think that way about my self.


lol I barely passed high school algebra and have yet to pass a remidial math course in college, failing at math does not make you stupid...In fact the way I see it acedemic knowledge does not really reflect true intelligence just the ability to follow directions and abosorb infomation. So don't worry to much about that. I have gotten this kind of treatment in the past and it is frusturating and can be embarrasing...I guess people just tend to assume if you don't conform to the social norms you're not as intelligent. though I don't see it that way, I mean some of the random small talk conversations people have are pretty stupid which is why I don't partake in that. I'm quiet untill something worthy of mentioning comes up.
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Silachan
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

user1001 wrote:
What I mean is that when I am picked on I hate being treated like I can't stand up for my self and It just makes it feel like I have to rely on someone to protect me. I find that very frustrating. Also I am wondering am I stupid for being a Junior in a Freshman Math class? I was in there but one of the freshman keeped picking on me for being in there and I feelt really stupid to be in that lower class. I am now out of the class because I was not doing well the rest of the year except on the final. But I would like to know am I stupid for being in a Lower math class?


That doesn't make you stupid at all. I'm in my second semester of college, and I'm struggling to understand 5th grade math- Dividing / Multiplying fractions and such. Don't worry about what others think of you, but at the same time don't let your disorders become an excuse either.

I have ADD, most likely Aspergers, Sensory difficulties, dysgraphia, dyspraxia, apraxia of speech and auditory/visual processing issues, but I don't let them become an excuse for me. If I find myself daydreaming or not paying attention, I shake my head and get back to what I was supposed to be doing. If someone is talking to me in a low voice that I can't understand, I ask them to speak up a bit or I lean closer to understand what they're saying. I sometimes have to repeat it to myself to fully get it, but then they know I'm listening.

You gotta become aware of the problems you face, so you can work on changing them. I suffered through bullies of all types at school, anything from mental to physical and in between. I had rocks thrown at me. I was tripped, chased into bathrooms or corners, laughed at, taunted, made fun of, you name it it happened. Sure it hurts, but I ended up with a cold outlook and refused to let anyone come close to me without snapping. Now I try to be more friendly, and I don't have the bullying problem anymore (that, and I'm in college). Just try your best to overcome what may be stopping you, and let others know "I'm not slow, I'm just trying to make sure I understand what you say. Could you repeat that so I know I heard you right?"

A little communication goes a long way. Smile
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Plywood
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Math f*****g sucks.
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 1:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Why does everyone think im Slow or Special? Reply with quote

user1001 wrote:
Or why does everyone thinks that I am retarded?

( Sorry if this offends people.)
I am male and 17 and for some reason everyone thinks that I am retarded or something. I was told that I may have ASD or Aspurgers but I am not sure. I have problems paying attention in class when someone is talking to me and when they do I am like half daydreaming. Plus when someone asks me what we where talking about I would go like What? I don't know why I act like this. I think I have a IQ of 50 to 80 but I am not sure. I am also diagnosed with Degorgie syndrome or VCFS if anyone has heard of that. I am also picked on very easily and I am shy and quiet and socialy akward around people.

The things that bug me the most is when I am being bullied people will come up to me and say things like "Don't pick on him" or they will act all defencive to me and I just find this humiliating. (Sorry if my spelling is bad I am trying to get this out as fast as I can.) I often act like an Idiot and other people call me Idiot when I am near them. They would talk to me and I would just be like responding slowly because I was not paying attention. I would ask this on Yahoo answers but they suck at answering this question. I don't know weather or not that I am retarded but I would like to add more details when I post the rest of this later on. ( I am completlely new to this forum so I am not sure if this is the right seciton to post this in Please tell me if I am.)



i hate to say it because im not trying offend you but i knew someone with VCFS and sometime its because of facial charectistics people will asume one is slow
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user1001
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also have this problem where people also think that I don't know what I am doing so when I do a work sheet or other activitys they think I don't know what I am doing and think that I need special help to help me. Like one time I was working on a hands on project and there was this one person who thought that I was not doing it right so he was showing me how to do it even though I know how to do it in the first place it was kind of annoying.
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jackbus01
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 3:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

please stop basing your self-esteem on others opinion on you especially if they involve the word "retarded".
It gets better when you are out of school most likely.
We live in a world of narrow-minded people that don't appreciate the differences people have.
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