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georgewbush
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20 Mar 2011, 12:30 am

NT's, Neurotypicals, or "normal people" generally have received stigma from many people on the autistic/aspergers spectrum.

Why must so many of us look at NT's so disdainfully as if we are superior to them? I agree some NT's are uninformed on autism/aspergers and may not be able to see the world in the same way that you do, but there are also some illegitimate reasons.

Some anti-NT's never experienced much. They had a few bad social experiences (far too few to make generalizations) and then locked themselves up in a sedentary lifestyle for a few years, brooding more and more anger towards NT's.

Or maybe its a way of insecurity or venting. I don't know.

But why do some of us, names withheld, regard NT's as sub-humans.



Robdemanc
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20 Mar 2011, 1:10 am

I don't think I think of them as subhuman. But I do think they are the blind ones in some respects. I think most fail to see the world without their blinkered specks. I suppose I assume they are all preoccupied with socialising and doing the expected things that they never stop to look at the world, never take a step back. I feel I am doing that all the time and so often think I have a more objective view of life and the world.

But I know everyone is unique and we all (NT's included) have a unique view of the world and life.



pensieve
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20 Mar 2011, 5:18 am

I more regard them as human and me as an alien lizard king.
My problem with NT's is the way they judge me or mock my differences. Either they say there's nothing wrong with you or there is something very wrong with you. And they want me to change who I am and be more like them because for some reason the person who I am is unnatural. Now I may be cold blooded, with a scaly tail and wear a crown but I am just as much a part of the natural process as they are.

And those anti-NT's don't just have a few bad experiences but have been bullied most of their life by NT's.
Maybe it's not right to pigeon hole and judge NT's the way I do but the truth is the ones I know have been horrible to me. It gives me strength to separate myself from them. I don't care if it's wrong, it's my way.


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hill-o-beans
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20 Mar 2011, 5:28 am

us the kings? most of us live off their taxes. your reptilian rule sounds very benevolent tho.



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20 Mar 2011, 6:09 am

I was always seen as a rich, little English snob by girls who are 10 years younger than myself. They're that intimidated by me. If they feel that lowly of themselves, why don't they invest in some dress clothes for themselves or shut up. I don't know if this fits into the topic, but I'd thought that I'd mention it.


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ediself
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20 Mar 2011, 6:33 am

I never chose to start thinking this way. In fact I am so resilient that I tend to forget about it , go and try again telling myself that I am the one with the problem and shouldn't blame others for not understanding the way I think, since I'm the one who is different. And then they start talking and I start staring in disbelief again, they say something strange that I will analyse for a few hours afterwards until I pinpoint the reason why it made me feel uneasy.Generally, it was something insensitive or downright insulting, that i didn't understand immediately as being so, because I still don't understand why somebody would attack me out of the blue. I try hard to remind myself not to let my guard down, because I forgive too easily and approach people the way I would like to be approached, and it always ends up in me getting hurt.
For me, seeing them as a "group" and calling them "them" in my head helps me remember that I will not be automatically be accepted or treated in a friendly way, and it's a lifelong process that is only moving slowly because of my tendency to forgive and forget, I NEED to separate myself from them mentally , and learn that there are mean people out there, which I know intellectually but aparently can't emotionally process.
Laying down all the reasons why "NTs are mean and hurtful and stupid" is a sort of survival process, where you train your brain to stop greeting everyone with a wide open heart, because the more you get hurt , the more your self esteem goes down. It doesn't have to last forever, as when you finally emotionally accept that not everyone will like you, you can start to balance your views about NTs in a more normal "some are nice and smart, some are stupid and mean, and I need to know how to differentiate them" view, but I'm not there yet. For now, I'm still too young emotionally, at 33, and I need to grow out of that intinctive trust, by going through a "learnt distrust" phase, until I reach the adult way of approaching strangers, which is: don't open up until you know if this person is nice or mean.



IceCreamGirl
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20 Mar 2011, 7:53 am

I actually envy NTs. I acted weird as a kid, and now I worry so much about what people thought of me back then. I also have major problems with executive functioning. I sometimes worry that I won't be able to live independently as an adult. I wish I could think about something other than how different I am, but it's just how I think :( .



georgewbush
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20 Mar 2011, 11:23 am

There is certainly a stigma against NT's in this forum to the point where the word itself has become pejorative.

But I should make one thing clear. We shouldn't make generalizations about NT's or Aspies. Some NT's are ignorant and misunderstanding (just some Aspies can be such), but many of them otherwise aren't. There are good and bad people in every demographic.

Bullying is something which both commonly happens to both Aspie's and NT's. And some Aspies can be bullies too. It has nothing to do with whether you are one or the other.

In my life, somes Aspies have caused me just as much harm as NT's, but I have no stigma against Aspies.

Another problem, in addition to anti-NT's not having enough social experience to judge so quickly, is that some Aspies (just like some NT's) have a false sense of entitlement. If something goes wrong between two people, it always seems to be
the other person's fault.



emlion
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20 Mar 2011, 11:24 am

my favourite person is an NT.
as is my least favourite person.
bottom line: each person is different NT or not.



poppyfields
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20 Mar 2011, 11:50 am

The NT hate here is why I find it hard to be a committed member here. I think aspies and NTs see the world differeently - but all viewpoints are valid and worthy of consideration. Aspies here always talk about how blind NTs are to things, but guess what? We are blind to stuff too. We all have faults, but we all have good things about us too. I truly believe we can share a world together.

I also hate how people act like every NT is identical when even in my own family their are vast differences. I get really tired of the us vs them in these forums. I get tired of people here acting superior, and thinking they aren't being judgemental because they are a minority.



georgewbush
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20 Mar 2011, 12:00 pm

poppyfields wrote:
The NT hate here is why I find it hard to be a committed member here. I think aspies and NTs see the world differeently - but all viewpoints are valid and worthy of consideration. Aspies here always talk about how blind NTs are to things, but guess what? We are blind to stuff too. We all have faults, but we all have good things about us too. I truly believe we can share a world together.

I also hate how people act like every NT is identical when even in my own family their are vast differences. I get really tired of the us vs them in these forums. I get tired of people here acting superior, and thinking they aren't being judgemental because they are a minority.


Poppyfields, I couldnt have expressed that any better



Arminius
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20 Mar 2011, 2:58 pm

emlion wrote:
my favourite person is an NT.
as is my least favourite person.
bottom line: each person is different NT or not.


I agree. If we want our right to deal with the world on our own terms respected, we should do as much for others. People are people.



DenvrDave
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20 Mar 2011, 5:52 pm

georgewbush wrote:
There are good and bad people in every demographic.


Amen to that brother.



bee33
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20 Mar 2011, 10:56 pm

I think that the negative feelings arise out of resentment and frustration at having to deal with people who can effortlessly do some of the things we struggle with, and who sometimes give us a hard time because we are not as dexterous in figuring out social interactions. It's not so much that NTs are the problem, it's just that interacting with them often creates problems for Aspies.



hill-o-beans
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21 Mar 2011, 2:55 am

i think all minorities (ethnics, gay) feel resentment at the bigger group "as a whole" , even if they can like individual people in the group. It's just a shame aspies will never be cool like other groups. Black people have malcolm x, black power rappers. Gay people have all the cool activists and rock stars like freddie mercury and elton john. What do we have..Napoleon Dynamite, Forrest Gump. Even successful supposed aspies like Spielburg and Gates look nerdy and dull. There are some cool aspies out there though. But we're not all cool.



Nathalie
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21 Mar 2011, 3:25 am

I actually live without other people with ASD around me, so all my friends are NT's. I really love them and care about them and I know for sure they really care about me too.

They just don't understand everything, because they don't live their lives among autisics, I adapt myself more because everyone around me is NT.

But still, people who care about me will try to understand me, and I don't think it's their fault if they fail, or accidently dissapoint or offend me. I also make mistakes.

The most important is mutual respect and will to try to understand eachother in the best possible way. Neither one of us is better or worse, though sometimes it is more difficult for people with ASD, because the world seems strange sometimes.

I think like NT people even more then people with ASD, because I'm a bit fascinated by them and am trying to figure out how their world is. They can ben really increddible self-sacrifising at times.