NTs: How do you experience the World differently?

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Hi everyone

I posted this question in the general autism discussion area, but it was recommended I post it here, so I thought why not?

For all of you wonderful NTs with children on the spectrum...

I have mild asperger's myself, and I am very confused about how it is that my experience of the World is different to that of an NT. I only got diagnosed this year, and previously have spent 31 years assuming that my way of thinking/perceiving/experiencing Life was the same as everyone else's (despite the fact I couldn't understand them as well as I thought I should lol). I was wondering if anyone can give me their own opinions on how an NT experiences the World differently to an Aspie?

I understand this is an almost impossible question to answer, but theories/opinions/experiences would be most appreciated

Thanks

Tough one. I understand the unspoken communication going on, such as tone, cadence, expressions, where people look, the non-literal in words, the context of the situation - many other things, all these have meaning. I can read peoples moods, do small talk, flirt, manipulate (although I don't) etc. All that kind of stuff.
When you look at it largely junk skills

Interesting question. I'm NT and my son has AS. It seems to me that one of the biggest differences involves what we pay attention to. If my son and I both walk into a party, he and I will SEE exactly the same visual scene. However, my attention will immediately (and mostly involuntarily) be drawn to the people in the room. I will usually be only dimly aware of the inanimate objects in the room (unless there is something really unusual about them).

In contrast, my son's attention will immediately be drawn to the inanimate objects in the room. Quite frequently, he will point out some small change in the way the furniture was arranged, or a new lamp, or something like that. He is amazed at my inability to see things like that.

In a way, his attentional habits and mine are probably BOTH perfectly logical. I get a great deal of useful information from looking at people's faces, so of course that's what I tend to look at. My son gets much less information from faces, so there is little reason for him to selectively attend to them.

It strikes me as being quite like an experience I once had walking into an electronics shop with a friend that has Asperger syndrome. He has a strong special interest in electronics. He can get a great deal of useful information from looking at the various electronic parts lying around. I know little about electronics, though, so I get very little information from looking at them -- so I noticed different things when I entered the room.

I told my son recently that, when the two of us enter a room, virtually NOTHING is going to go unnoticed. I commented that this is probably the right way to think about NT-AS interactions. With cooperation, our differences strengthen us both.

I love that you say this because I totally believe it. My dream is to have society see the differences in both of these populations and recognize the advantage of putting an NT and AS person together. Can you imagine how much progress can be made with these 2 different minds working together? They really do compliment each other. It's a shame that people focus on the deficits so much that they can't see the benefits.

To answer the OP's question...here's a few that I can think of...these are differences between me (NT) and my son (AS) and my husband who is most definately AS but not diagnosed. My son see's the details, I'm a big picture girl, he lives in the now, I think about past,present and future. I need socialization, to see and talk to people, my husband is perfectly fine with just me, my son has few interests, I'm interested in everything, my son needs structure and repetition, I like change, I thrive on it, my son is inflexible and it's hard to get him to do what others want or do something a different way, I personally like change and to do things different because I get bored with the same thing.

I probably have some "differences" myself but consider myself NT so I can somewhat compare the differences between my brother (AS) and my daughter (AS) and myself.

My daughter seems to perceive some sensory input far more intensely than I. Sometimes she is hypersensitive, but sometimes she is less sensitive. For instance, some noises that don't bother me at all will cause her to hold her ears. She also hears sounds that I do not (we tested this with a dog whistle App and her range of hearing is FAR greater than mine). As far as injuries, a paper cut can drive her insane for a week where other times she can be upset and injure herself severely and seem to not feel it at all. Also, smells and textures are far more pronounced to her though I am sensitive to smells as well. She LOVES some textures and will seek them out and repetitively rub them on her skin as she enjoys the tactile sensation. She also chews on everything so she has some oral issues.

As far as the greatest difference from me and those I know with AS is frustration tolerence. This may be exacerbated by the sensory issues, but both my daughter and my brother can become overwhelmed quite easily. This most likely leads to extreme anger/rage and they cannot be calmed down-it's like a storm they have to go through on their own. I, on the other hand, have a greater threshhold for frustration and can intellectually think myself through and calm myself down mentally. I don't go "over the ledge" of the anger/rage as it seems my daughter does. My brother, who is 38 also has this so I don't know if it can improve with age.

The other differences of course are how their brains work. My daughter is very pattern oriented and can spot a repetitive pattern very, very easily. She picks up on the things most people don't "see" or percieve usually. She also has a strong memory for obscure things (my brother does as well) where once she sees something she can spot it again. For instance my daughter sees a book on a bookshelf and can state who also has that book. And she notices if someone wears a shirt they've never worn before. Both my daughter and my brother have a sort of eidetic memory. I remember my brother being very young and helping me with my chemistry homework-he was far too young to be able to understand it-yet he did and memorized all the elements.

My brother has the ability to see something run and understand how it works which just confounds me. It's like he can mentally take something apart in his mind and manipulate the parts to see how the thing works. He spent his childhood taking everything apart and putting it back together. His toys never stayed intact nor were they used as toys but engineering elements that he could use in another fashion. I always kept my things and treasured them-as I think an NT is more likely to do. Things held meaning to me, whereas they did not/do not with my brother and daughter. She can become attached to things but not in an emotional way-just in a utilitarian way. She never hugged on baby dolls but she would snuggle up with a flashlight.

As far as differences with emotion-I just don't know. While my brother is very unemotional and unexpressive, my daughter is very attached to me and appears to be very empathetic with living creatures. She mourns the loss of our pets. Goodbyes are very difficult for her. As far as socially, I enjoy being around people somewhat (not a lot-I am somewhat of a loner) while my daughter is extremely overwhelmed with social interaction. It is laborious for her-it does not come naturally.

These are just a few of the differences I can think of off hand-these are ways we are different-things they do that I can't or don't do. But there are so many more.