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Weiss_Yohji
Toucan
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:28 pm    Post subject: Feel like killing people Reply with quote

Once again, I encountered this lovey-dovey couple at work. I wanted to kill the man in the most brutal manner I could think of and take his woman for myself.

Also, it seems like girls at work totally disregard me, going toward other guys. What the f**k does it take to get them to notice ME? Am I not good enough? Do I not have any appeal? If this keeps up, I feel like I may go and kill someone, because I deserve all the love far more than they do, goddamn it! Even if I have to eliminate all the competition!
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Dark_Lord_2008
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You sound like you are a psychopath. Planning on killing innocent people to steal their girlfriends.

You chose the Asperger lifestyle. It takes a lot of effort to be more sociable and appealing to people.

Anyway I hope you are joking that you are planning on killing people. If not, well seek psychiatric help. Medication and counselling is what you need.
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Greatsharkbite
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well if I may ask, what is your approach with women?

Unfortunately for the shy guy--approach matters more for initial interest. Even the "confident" guy with all the girls make the first moves, even if its just trying to befriend them.

Talk to them and eventually ask them out.

I know your venting, but also probably need to drop some of the resentment before you talk to them, they will notice. Also.. maybe not talk to the girls at work at all, you might need to find a different crowd to shake off those biased feelings.
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sacrip
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand how you feel. When someone accomplishes something that I once wanted for myself but failed to get, I can't be happy for them. Like graduating college or getting a great job in their 20's or having the big dream wedding with the beautiful girl they love and all the family is there or even just HAVING a family that's close and loving instead of distant like mine, I just get annoyed hearing about it and secretly sneer even as I shake their hands and say "great job!"

That said, I'm going to tell you something, and you're not gonna like it and you won't believe me right now but here it is: You absolutely MUST get rid of this idea that you 'deserve' a girlfriend. Not only is it not true, for anyone, that attitude will actually poison you from the inside out and make it that much harder to ever get the girl, because, yes, she can tell the difference between you wanting HER, as an individual, and just wanting to hold hands with someone in a skirt as a means of self validation. No, they can't actually describe it in terms like that, so they just use their goto word, creepy.

So how do you get the girl? I wish I knew, cause I'd bottle it and make a million. But you have, have, HAVE to be comfortable in your own skin. Whether you know it or not, you give off a million little vibes all the time that cue people's subconscious sensors and if you think you're a loser, so will everyone else. The opposite isn't ALWAYS true (that's why we have assholes), but it's more true than not. I had to learn this the hard way, all of it, so take it for what it's worth.
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purchase
Phoenix
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I second the medication and counselling suggestion.

Now logically, in the context of modern human society, killing people will not "eliminate the competition" but put you in jail.

I know how horrible jealousy is. What a bad feeling.

You can have the life you want and you can be a member of a lovey-dovey couple annoying people around them, you can, in the near future, but first I really think you should deal with your feelings of anger and jealousy and... rage I guess, cause as you know you can't kill people and it must feel horrible feeling these things.
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Dark_Lord_2008
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Self centred, lack of empathy, paranoid, jealous, envious, resentful and bitter are traits that will put people off being friends with you let alone women wanting to date you.

The OP is singing to the the tune of Shannon Noll's: "What About Me"

"What About Me"

Well there's a little boy waiting at the counter of a corner shop
He's been waiting down there, waiting half the day
They never ever see him from the top
He gets pushed around, knocked to the ground
He gets to his feet and he says

[CHORUS:]
What about me, it isn't fair
I've had enough now i want my share
Can't you see i wanna live
But you just take more than you give

Well there's a pretty girl serving at the counter of the corner shop
She's been waiting back there, waiting for her dreams
Her dreams walk in and out they never stop
Well she's not too proud to cry out loud
She runs to the street and she screams

[CHORUS]

So take a step back and see the little people
They may be young but they're the ones
That make the big people big
So listen, as they whisper
What about me

And now i'm standing on the corner all the world's gone home
Nobody's changed, nobody's been saved
And i'm feeling cold and alone
I guess i'm lucky, i smile a lot
But sometimes i wish for more than i've got

[CHORUS]
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sacrip
Phoenix
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haven't you guys ever had dark thoughts? Felt a frustration so intense you can't see any way out of it without something totally drastic? That doesn't mean you're gonna do it, just that the thoughts are there, in spite of whatever you'll actually do. Give the OP some credit for saying what I damn well know we've all thought in our heads once in a while. Frankly, I expected more consideration from someone named Dark_Lord_2008 Wink

That said, self esteem building is a long journey in unknown territory with an outdated map and advice from ten trolls who all know a secret path but they're all in opposite directions. You need a small victory, a success, in ANYTHING, to get you started. Learn to do a new thing, make a new friend, write a short story, beat that game you haven't played in months. You need a check in the win column, and action is the only way to get it.
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MountainLaurel
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 11:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sacrip wrote:
I'm going to tell you something, and you're not gonna like it and you won't believe me right now but here it is: You absolutely MUST get rid of this idea that you 'deserve' a girlfriend. Not only is it not true, for anyone, that attitude will actually poison you from the inside out and make it that much harder to ever get the girl, because, yes, she can tell the difference between you wanting HER, as an individual, and just wanting to hold hands with someone in a skirt as a means of self validation. No, they can't actually describe it in terms like that, so they just use their goto word, creepy.


Rarely have I read a truer discription of what NOT do in order to be attractive to women. Sacrip has written a gift to you, Weiss.

I'll add, relationships are not a competition. Women are not prizes to be won in a competition. Until you understand this truth, women WILL avoid you.

Anger and frustration are anti-aphrodisiacs.
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Weiss_Yohji
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
You chose the Asperger lifestyle. It takes a lot of effort to be more sociable and appealing to people.

Nobody f*****g chooses autism. You either have it or you don't.
Quote:
Well if I may ask, what is your approach with women?

I used to have little problem with approaching the ladies up until 11th grade. I've been painfully shy ever since. Everyone has been giving me the cliched "Just go talk to her" advice. That doesn't even explain how I'm supposed to even build up the nerve to ask a woman out when I don't have that!

I've tried asking coworkers if they know anyone they can set me up with, but all they've done is kick up dirt. I feel like they've f*****g disregarded me and not even bothered to help me. If this keeps up, they might as well pay for it with their blood. One of them (Hereafter M) keeps pointing out certain women there and saying that they should be his girlfriend. If the girls keep gravitating towards M, I may just have to rub his ass out. What the blue f*****g hell does it take? I'm surprised I haven't even snapped yet. Why must it be so mystifying? WHY THE GODDAMN f**k DID I HAVE TO BE BORN AUTISTIC? WHY DID MY PARENTS HAVE TO HAVE ME? WHY DO OTHER GUYS HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO APPROACH THE LADIES BUT NOT ME?
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Greatsharkbite
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I think you've gotten some really good advice from the people who've replied.

I agree and always have agreed with it for a long time, nobody deserves a girlfriend. People are individuals and you have to treat them as such.

As far as building confidence to go over there and talk to them--thats a long slippery road that varies for each person. Whats making you not have the nerve to go over there and chat? What makes you want to chat with them in the first place? Just being a girl isn't enough--and it may be actually counter productive. Some of the "cliches" of advice work. Tell yourself that you're worth it, make a list of things that you could actually contribute to a relationship--and know they are occassionally VERY hard to manage and ask if you want that. Ask yourself what you'll be contributing if that person just gets to know you as a friend and if they're even worth having as a friend--or girlfriend.

Nice personality, treat her with respect, loving, attentive, good listener, respect her as an individual, able to make her laugh? This is just the personable stuff also--none of that starts by being territorial of a girl who you're not even with. This isn't critique, just advice.

Don't "rub" the guy out, if he's an idiot--let him be an idiot. If they're dumb enough to like him for that, you should lump them in the idiot category also.
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Chronos
Phoenix
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Joined: Apr 23, 2010
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 1:47 am    Post subject: Re: Feel like killing people Reply with quote

Weiss_Yohji wrote:
Once again, I encountered this lovey-dovey couple at work. I wanted to kill the man in the most brutal manner I could think of and take his woman for myself.

Also, it seems like girls at work totally disregard me, going toward other guys. What the f**k does it take to get them to notice ME? Am I not good enough? Do I not have any appeal? If this keeps up, I feel like I may go and kill someone, because I deserve all the love far more than they do, goddamn it! Even if I have to eliminate all the competition!


You can't "take a woman for yourself," at least not such that she will love you and want to be with you. She is a person, not an object. The girls at work don't disregard you. They notice you. They aren't interested. I don't know why. Maybe it's because they detect that you have a low emotional IQ and don't understand that attraction and love does not work on the basis of who deserves it and who doesn't.
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John_Browning
ON A LIST SOMEWHERE
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Joined: Mar 23, 2009
Posts: 4456
Location: The shooting range

PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Weiss_Yohji wrote:
Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
You chose the Asperger lifestyle. It takes a lot of effort to be more sociable and appealing to people.

Nobody f***ing chooses autism. You either have it or you don't.
Quote:
Well if I may ask, what is your approach with women?

I used to have little problem with approaching the ladies up until 11th grade. I've been painfully shy ever since. Everyone has been giving me the cliched "Just go talk to her" advice. That doesn't even explain how I'm supposed to even build up the nerve to ask a woman out when I don't have that!

I've tried asking coworkers if they know anyone they can set me up with, but all they've done is kick up dirt. I feel like they've f***ing disregarded me and not even bothered to help me. If this keeps up, they might as well pay for it with their blood. One of them (Hereafter M) keeps pointing out certain women there and saying that they should be his girlfriend. If the girls keep gravitating towards M, I may just have to rub his ass out. What the blue f***ing hell does it take? I'm surprised I haven't even snapped yet. Why must it be so mystifying? WHY THE GODDAMN f**k DID I HAVE TO BE BORN AUTISTIC? WHY DID MY PARENTS HAVE TO HAVE ME? WHY DO OTHER GUYS HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO APPROACH THE LADIES BUT NOT ME?

Even if you killer her boyfriend and nobody ever found you out, if you approached her, your odds of going out with her are no better than with anyone else you have ever met, and she'll probably figure out you are in an unstable state of mind and take care to avoid you. Go find a therapist before you end up in jail forever or found incompetent and committed forever. Not only will you not accomplish anything by killing people, but you will be remembered as a world class loser if you do- even more so because AS delayed social skills cause so few people to understand you and that will make your motives seem even weirder to people. You wouldn't be the first murderer with AS to be remembered for all time as a retard. Therapy can help this. Killing won't help your social skills or your chances of a relationship, so go get help!
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MollyTroubletail
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speaking as a "girl", I'm attracted to affectionate, loving, intellectual guys with or without Autism. You could try listing your personal traits that make you a good person for a girl to date. Are you smart? Funny? Generous? Kind? Patient? What are your best points? You will want to present yourself as a decent guy with self-respect who respects others. At this point in time you're neither respecting yourself nor others, and this needs to change before you try to approach girls without scaring them.

Of course, I don't need to tell you that girls are not attracted to jealous, raging, psychopathic, murderous felons. Well actually some girls are attracted to them, but they're all busy writing love letters to Death Row inmates. So long as you continue to feel nothing but murderous rage towards girls, obviously you'll scare them away. And if you really do snap and go on a rampage, you'll wind up bending over to pick up the soap in the prison showers and making butt-love to Big Bubba. There won't be a single "girl" there except for you.

Now it could be that your rage is out of control and nothing anyone can say will change the way you feel or what you plan to do. If that's how you feel most or all of the time, and you want to change it but can't, if you're obsessing over it, you need counseling immediately. I've gone through a period of time myself where I felt I needed to kill or maim people, and it got so intense and so constant that I wound up in a mental ward on anti-psychotics till I stabilized. There is no shame in it, and if you think you need help, please get help right away. Living with such feelings is extremely disturbing and painful, and I know it from personal experience. You don't have to live in such pain. There is help available for you, you just need to ask. If I could do it, I know you can too. Go to your local hospital Emergency Room and ask for an emergency psychiatric evaluation, and they will help you immediately.

You can live a good life with girlfriends and later on maybe a wife. You may never be the most popular guy but you'll have what you need in life. But the only way this will definitely not happen is if you continue on your current self-destructive path. I know this because the same thing happened to me. Please make the right choice. We care for you.
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MountainLaurel
Phoenix
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Weiss, GreatSharkBite has given GreatInsight.

I often read men on this site remark something like you did; How will I ever get the confidence to approach ladies?

The truth is that the other guys who you think are approaching ladies; don't start with women by approaching them.

People in the workplace generally have occaisions to simply have time in the proximity with the opposite sex. Those other guys simply enjoy those little moments with some of the women. They're not doing anything like pursuing at first. They just enjoy talking with some of the women. They're not putting any pressure on themselves to do anything except enjoy the encounters when they occur.

Because these situations are so natural and unforced, sometimes the women enjoy their time with those men. Mutual company, mutual enjoyment, no pressure, no big deal. This is the start of attraction. Once it's come to a guy's attention that there is a specific woman who's company he consistantly enjoys, then he may decide to ask her out.

By that time they have built a rapor and the likelyhood that she might accept him has increased. No crazed desperation to be accepted, just mutual enjoyment taken, perhaps, to the next step. Nothing homicidal, nothing suicidal, no snapping. Actually, no big deal at all.

Weiss, have you ever simply enjoyed the proximity of any of the women in your workplace? Just enjoyed some of the conversations your job requires with some of your lady co-workers? That's the starting point. Work on that for the next six months with the ladies and stop talking to your male co-workers about it.
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John_Browning
ON A LIST SOMEWHERE
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Wait until you can avoid coming across psycho though or you will blow it for good with them and they might tell her co-workers.
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"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."
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