Joined: Jul 09, 2011 Posts: 5079 Location: CT, USA
Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:43 am Post subject: So some girl gave me her number, now what?
So I was standing in the convenience store I go to, hanging out with my friend who's the clerk there, and there was a carnival in town, and this girl randomly walks in, end of shift, wanting to buy cigarettes.
So she starts talking to me, and I'm just like "wtf" but I guess I manage my way through my conversation. She asked me if there was anything fun to do around here, and I was just like "Yeah I don't drink or anything, well, I might not do anything fun, I ice skate though, that's pretty fun" something like that. I made myself look, well, I guess exceptionally Aspie by the things I said. Regardless, after talking for like 2 minutes, with this girl I've never met in my life, she asked if I had facebook, and then asked for my number, and before I could respond to see what she wanted to do/what was happening next, she wrote down hers and gave it to me told me to text her, and said she's around at the store often.
So, I texted her, about 45 minutes later, probably in a weird Aspie fashion also, and no response yet. I don't know, she's attractive and stuff, she seems, very uh, I don't know, charismatic and whatever. Probably what people here would refer to as "NT."
So I guess my question is, if it's not all an elaborate ruse by her to just play with random guys like that and she's not high (my friend who's the clerk told me she was not) and she texts me back, then what do I do? Where do I go from then? Maybe this is a ridiculous thing to ask here, and I should just "go with the flow" and see what happens, or I'll get completely idiotic advice, I don't know. Apparently, I'm pretty oblivious to like, social cues or whatever, I didn't even really get that she like, was into me or whatever until she was asking me for a phone number.
So now what? What I do? I mean I did what I can for now, but what is expected of me if she responds back? Also, one text, right? When is it acceptable to communicate again? My sister said don't text too often as seeming too interested will make you seem creepy? Man, what a silly science these people are, way too many variables to watch. These same people say computer programming or engineering is hard, but damn, what about all the variables people have to account for in a romantic relationship? What? OK, I'll stop rambling, but uh, yeah, any advice/comments would be helpful. By the way, in real life I pretty much talk how I'm posting here, (DXed NVLD would explain that a bit) so you can formulate any advice based on that. Thanks.
Joined: Mar 31, 2011 Age: 28 Posts: 448 Location: Midwest USA (Switzerland is Where the Heart Is)
Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 1:50 am Post subject:
If I were in your shoes, I would relax and let her lead. And I would let her know after a little while that I can please her best if she'll tell me what to do. (God, I love to be dragged around on an assertive woman's leash! )
Joined: Oct 19, 2008 Age: 41 Posts: 2536 Location: Europe
Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 2:56 am Post subject:
My advice to the OP is to not push things too hard, I assume that you have texted her to say that you would like to meet her again.
1. Do not bombard her with lots of text messages, send her one and then relax and wait.
2. If you are going to meet think of something fun for both of you. Maybe go for a walk with her in the park and take her to a cafe.
3. If you do go on a date do not ask her for sex or try to "chat her up", you can talk about close to anything but see point 4.
4. Do not discuss with her anything contraversal, such as do not discuss with her the scandal associated with the judge Clarence Thomas
5. Do not let the discussion turn into one about your special interest unless she wants to discuss it
6. Do not "talk for england", let her get a word in. You should pay attention to what she has to say. She is more likely to like you if you pay attention to what she has to say for herself.
7. Before you meet her, scrub your body in the shower have a close shave, tidy your hair. Wear clean clothing and make yourself look smart.
8. If you invite her for a meal then pay for her food and drink.
9. If you think you might kiss her after a meal then do not eat garlic unless she has been eating garlic also.
10. If you both smoke then, be prepared to provide her with a light. One guides to manners say if a man and his lady sit down to have a smoke then the man should provide the lady with the flame from the lighter to allow her to ignite hers before he ignites his ciggy. (I think smoking is horrible but I am just telling you this in case she smokes)
11. If she hardly knows you then she might be nervous about getting in a car with you, but if you have a car and are going to meet her in your car then make sure it is clean (inside and out). Make sure that it is not littered with fast food rubbish or other stuff. Also drive in a sensible manner, do not try to show off you wild driving moves to her. Also offer to give her a ride home if she goes anywhere in your car, if she says no thank you then just drop her off where she wants to go.
12. If you have access to a cute looking dog, then if you are going to go for a walk in the park bring it along. Make sure you can keep the creature under good control and that it walks and behaves well. Do not for example turn up with a pitbull which tries to eat every small child you encounter. _________________ Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !