A vent about public schooling and homeschooling

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Because of unrelated reasons to being in actual public schools, I have taken my oldest out of public school and enrolled her into a virtual academy. I really like the program, but working with my daughter, I have realized how far behind she is. The school systems have abandoned her. They put her in lower level classes because of her processing speed, and she was bored out of her mind. One of her favorite classes last year was science, and that was her only college prep class. She loved the challenge. Now this year, I have been working with her one-on-one. She couldn't tell me what the subject and the verb of a sentence were. She knows now, and picked up on it pretty quickly, but in the mean time, she is behind because I have to teach her the basics she should have already been taught. There is so much more, but I am so angry at these school systems.

If she had been dx as AS several years ago, maybe the intervention would have been different. I don't know. All I know is that I am working with this kid for probably 10 hours a day trying to get and keep her caught up. She can do it, but it is draining on both of us. (Oh, she is in the 10th grade for anyone who is wondering).

I am just worn down. I need a nap.

Everyday is a new day!

I do a whole lot of computer and video work with my kids. They like it, it holds their attention, and it gives me a break. In the "comments" section of my free Austic Kids youtube channel, you might find some online activities to help her, especially if remedial help is needed. I also have a free Speech and Vocabulary Channel, free Reading and Grammar Channel, and free Math Channel.

The "favorites" sections of the channels contain teaching tips and video by experts for parents, teachers, and other experts. The "playlists" contain videos taken from other educational youtube channels. The "comments," "friends," and "subscriptions" contain links to other channels and websites of educational interest.

The "links" on my website, www.freevideosforautistickids.com contains links to games and ebooks mainly for younger kids or for remedial purposes.

I also have a bunch of links to free science youtube channels (see "subscriptions" and "friends" on a free Science Channel that I;ve started but not had time to complete. The just started Science Channel is at http://www.youtube.com/user/vids4autkids4.

Anyway, good luck! Congrats for making the effort!

Unfortunately, many (most?) schools don't seem to be equipped to deal with Aspie kids, so they tend to be diagnosed as "slow" or other labels. I know I had difficulty throughout school not because I was "slow," but because I was bored. I actually grasped most lessons easily and became bored as the other kids held things back. I also had problems relating what I knew, because I don't think in a traditional way. For example, in math when I needed to show my work, I couldn't, but didn't feel I needed to because I had the right answer anyway. But the class insisted I do things the way we were being taught and that I needed to show how I got my answer using their method. So I just checked out mentally.

The best thing to remember is that Albert Einstein did not do well in school and was thought to be "slow."

A good resource for you might be the book Multiple Intelligences: New Horizons in Theory and Practice by Howard Gardner. He writes about the different ways people learn, and how traditional schools try to teach everyone the same one way.

((((((((((hugs)))))))))

I know you are in a tough situation, but I am glad you are filling in the gaps for your daughter. I wish every school district knew how to offer every child exactly what they need, but that just isn't realistic. So, rant away .. and take lots of naps

I'm sorry that your daughter has been a child "left behind".

You sound like a wonderful mom who is doing her utmost to do what's right in giving her child the appropriate education that the school should have done.

Hang in there, and the hours sound long; I admire your daughter for her tenacity to learn.

Yup. Unfortunately, the problem is that public schools are generalists in every way - and they just aren't equipped to deal with things outside the "norm." Doubly unfortunately, this means that in some way every single kid is going to have some area where they aren't served well by the public schools.

One good thing: because our kids are well outside the "norm," we know our kids need specialized attention. Hopefully, we as parents can either give that to our kids or find someone else who can, but just the knowledge that our kids need their education to be individualized puts us ahead of most parents.

I think this is also why so many kids on the spectrum fall through the cracks in the public schools - the special services, again, are designed to be generalists; to seek out and support every possible difference that's out there. Sometimes this means that they are looking at so much information that they misinterpret it. It also means that your choices are typically mainstreaming, inclusion, or separate special ED - and for many of our kids, none of those options are sufficient.

Good job mama! It is hard to step out of the public school box. We have done it this year (6th grade). I would encourage you to focus on what works for your daughter and not worry about "catching up".

What's the upside of burning either one of you out? It is so great that the two of you will be able to focus on what she needs. Take that nap! She will have the best outcome if she likes it, so have fun! (perhaps "fun" is a stretch, but you know what I mean, right?

You are doing such a great job and kudos to you for being your child's advocate! It's a tough road (we went through a similar situation, although my daughter is only 9). The good news is that our kids are very bright and since we know them so well, our ability to work with them (and understand their learning nuances) will accelerate the process- you will see that working one on one with her, she will be gaining (academically) at a much faster rate. It will "click".

As an example (I've used this before), last year in 3rd grade, my DD essentially did not pass Science. Her teacher did not understand her learning differences (my daughter doesn't like working in a group particularly, she has huge fear of "explosions", so the unit on gases was a nightmare for her - particularly the in-class science experiments being done without a lot of guidance for her). What was really frustrating was that I was in school volunteering every day! I never heard a peep about how she was not getting work done. Instead, this particular teacher let her sit in a corner and read "science books". This year, she is way ahead of her virtual class in science and is slated to finish that course by mid-April (as opposed to mid-June); mainly because she loves science so much and we tend to do more than 3 lessons a week! I knew she loved life sciences, so the grade she got in school was *not* a reflection of her capacity to learn. It sounds like your daughter is the same way.

Do you have a special ed program through your virtual school? I only ask because we have asked for some accommodations to be made for specific state requirements (more time on math tests, seeing if she can type for the written portion of the state standard, etc.) and the school has been able to comply. Perhaps some small accommodations can be made for your DD while she is currently catching up...it may be worth asking. 10 hours a day is a lot of work for both you and her! I know that at our virtual school, we can have it set so that the progress bar is only set at 1% per subject per week. It is standardly 2.5%. So far we haven't had to use that metric, but if necessary, I plan on slowing down for some of her harder subjects.

They do have a special services department, and I will be contacting them. I am disappointed at them right now too though. Her intervention specialist pushed her to take a benchmark test she was not ready to take (too much stress causes her mind to blank and she cannot even add 3 and 2 - literally). I made her stop taking the test, had to give her 2 of her anxiety pills and sent her to bed. The rest of her day was shot because of the test. Her intervention specialist and adviser really got an earful from me about it. I told them she would finish the test when I say she is ready.

Thankfully, the class she is most behind in is English. I think I am going to work one on one with the teacher. She really wants me daughter to succeed, and has worked with her. I think he we can tailor something for her, it might work. The other classes she can catch up on easily. I am not too worried.

I am still trying to figure out this virtual school thing. I did it pretty quickly, and I am still learning.

I was a teacher before moving into the private sector. I have a graduate degree in my subject, but quickly found that the schools don't want "content people", they want education majors.

In other words, people with graduate degrees in English, Math, and Science, need not apply. Teachers with graduate degrees cost too much, and they don't want "content people."

The teachers your daughter had probably don't even know what a verb is either. Your daughter is behind because the school system is behind. Kids should be learning math and science: instead they are learning recycling and about black history month.

You did the right thing pulling her out in order to homeschool: she will catch up quickly. Nevertheless, I wouldn't worry so much about measuring your child against arbitrary standards put into place by a dysfunctional education system. Find out what she is good at and enjoys, and then let her learn as much as she wants. Homeschooling is liberating!

I can't do it. I have the knowledge, but the way things are going, I do not have the time. She has been having issues comprehending (she claims - I have my reasons for my doubts) and to do two units that should have only taken an hour and a half at the most, took over 3 1/2 hours. There was NO need to take this long except that she did not feel like doing it, so she started acting like she was.

I realize that some of you are going to jump on me for saying that, but I know my daughter. I know when she really is confused, and I know when she is playing to get attention. She is playing me (I know - I used to do this for attention when I was her age), and I am not doing it any more. I spoke with her counselor today, but he is of no help. I mentioned the times she does not seem to understand and he said it was inattention. It is not inattention if it is actually happening. It almost looks like a partial seizure, but she can answer questions.

I am seriously looking for a privates school for her (Ohio has an autism scholarship program). I do not think I can do this homeschooling. It is too much time. I have to go back to school myself, and as it is now, I cannot leave her alone at all (to even get my normal errands done). I am staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning just so that I can have time for myself and wind down. I even had a drink tonight to relax, and I NEVER drink to relax.

I am just so frustrated. If for some reason all her behavior IS all because of the Autism, then I can accept that, but I want her to have the skills (and me too) to deal with it and to get through it. I am dealing with a 16 year old who is 9 and has NO coping skills. She is getting mad at me for taking away the skills to calm down that work for her, but if I would allow her to do these skills she has figured out, she would never get work done. Her counselor suggested that she had a list of additional things she could do to calm herself down, but I think it is going to be a fight to do it.

Right now, I have no life. I even have to spend all my time with her and not pay as much time with her sisters when I am making her sit down and do her work (they get attention, but it is way out of proportion to what her sisters get).

Why could she sit down in a brick and mortar school, but at home, she is taking longer to do things than at her old schools, AND she is not behaving the same around them as she is around me? Why does she listen to them? Why will she socialize (even though it is just a little bit) at school, but refuse to call these same friends from home?? I am going to scream.