40+ Something L&D- Deciphering What Your Date Says (5/10
"Let's just be friends."
He: "You're threatening my independence."
She: "Let's keep our relationship on a superficially friendly level, and see each other only in public."
"You're too nice."
He: "You are not putting out for me."
She: "I think you are gay."
"This doesn't feel right."
He: "I'm already in a relationship, and I'm afraid to be seen with you."
She: "I have unresolved issues from previous relationships."
"I love you."
He: "Let's have sex (again)."
She: "I own you now."
"You are special to me."
He: "I took a shower, shaved, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes before coming over."
She: "I'm about to utter some more sentimental words and phrases. Please try to pay attention."
"I wrote a poem for you."
He: "I'm trying to impress you with what passes for my sentimental side, so please don't laugh."
She: "I'm about to utter a seemingly endless series of unrelated words and phrases. Please try to pay attention."
"Don't cry."
He: "Ohmigawd, what the f*&^%#@ did I do? What the f*&^%#@ am I going to do? PLEASE STOP!"
She: "Seriously, don't cry. It makes you look like a totally emasculated wuss."
"Do you think she's cute?"
He: "I think she's cute."
She: "Please say something that reaffirms my self-esteem, even if it to only point out how fat she looks."
"Will you go out with me?"
He: "Please?"
She: "Hypothetically speaking, if I were to seriously ask you to go out with me, would you consider it?"
"Sorry I'm late."
He: "I know that I'm late and I hope you won't hold it against me."
She: "Tell me that I'm worth the wait, or I'll act cold and distant until you do."
"I'm sorry."
He: "Please stop being angry with me."
She: "Please don't become angry with me."
_________________
teamnoir
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 30 Jun 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: Menlo Park, CA 94025
Between my natural tendencies as an aspie, (only recently discovered), and my participation in several major things the board rules prevent me from discussing here, I tend to be pretty direct. And I tend to encourage the people around me to be so as well.
So basically, I tend to take people at face value, or their word. In the situations where I won't, or can't do that, then...
a) the relationship has some serious trust issues anyway and
b) I'll generally keep those things to myself for a while until they resolve more.
If someone isn't clear, then I ask. In several communities in which I travel, that's considered good form and there are community values for helping each other be more forthcoming and direct in their communications anyway.
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