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40+ Something L&D - Coping with Dating Snafus (6/10)

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HopefulRomantic
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02 Nov 2011, 5:16 pm

The purpose of this thread is to facilitate discussion among 40+ something WP members about the“the how to of coping with snafus of dating” (there is always going to be some sort of miscommunication/snafus).



gadge
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03 Nov 2011, 12:59 am

Remain calm, don't freak out, sort it out

It will make a great story later


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Rocky
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03 Nov 2011, 3:35 am

Look at it as an opportunity to learn more about your date. How do they respond to this type of snafu? With humor? With creativity? With blame? With understanding? I think you get the idea. Hopefully, your date is not perfect, and will give you the opportunity to show good grace in response to your date's lack of perfection.



HopefulRomantic
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03 Nov 2011, 4:40 am

gadge wrote:
Remain calm, don't freak out, sort it out

It will make a great story later


Gadge,

May I ask where you were about 8 months ago? LOL. My last bf David (who I met on OKCupid by the way) could have benefited from your advice BIG TIME! Suffice it to say, he would lose his cool way too easily (interestingly enough, he would tell me afterwards that part of his problem is that he is half Italian). Isn't that a hoot? I am part Italian myself but I don't justify freaking out due to my cultural heritage. Oh well - and "So It Goes" said Vonnegut.

All in all, I think remaining calm so you still have the opportunity to sort it out later is the way to go!



HopefulRomantic
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03 Nov 2011, 4:56 am

Rocky wrote:
Look at it as an opportunity to learn more about your date. How do they respond to this type of snafu? With humor? With creativity? With blame? With understanding? I think you get the idea. Hopefully, your date is not perfect, and will give you the opportunity to show good grace in response to your date's lack of perfection.


Rocky,

You get it: we are all perfectly imperfect. No doubt little wrinkles/snafus pop up - and if someone freaks out on you - it is most telling. And suffice it to say, I bolt (run for the hills so to speak) if someone I am dating goes ballistic on me (please see most recent ex David anecdote immediately above this post) needlessly.

I have always said that miscommunication or little snafus are par for the course and to be expected ocaisonally. Please consider this: unless two people are mirror images of one another (clones), then in ,,all likelihood, they will have differences of opinion and the like. Inappropriate response to snafus is a huge clue as to someone's character.

When someone remains calm and displays understanding, empathy and grace under fire, I am most impressed. And it's like Hello Gorgeous!

Great Post Rocky!



teamnoir
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02 Jul 2012, 7:44 pm

Listen, listen, listen.

Then apologize if appropriate.

The hard ones are the ones that lead to the other person posting on shared forums about what an ass you are without ever discussing the issue with you directly. I don't know how to deal with those well.