finals are making me lose my mind and physically ill

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my back feels like every muscle in my back is contracted 24 hours a day. I've had a kidney and throat infection within the last 3 weeks, concurrently. I cannot begin to even start to write these papers, the instructions seem to vague and I have to study for 3 final exams.

I usually give up and don't turn anything in at the end of the year. I have already had a self injurious meltdown today and I will not physically harm myself due to this sort of stress. I would rather fail or get a much worse grade than I deserve than cause any more permanent harm to my body, which I already have to live with every day due to past self injuries during meltdowns.

How am I supposed to do this without losing control?

High school or college?

There should really be a law in all university that give students lenience when they get seriously ill. Right now it's inhumane the way they just screw you over as soon as you get sick.

You sound a lot like I am; I don't deal well with stress. As a result, I can count the all-nighters I had to pull on one hand, and I've got a master's. The only way I could deal with college was to start on the assignments just as soon as I was handed the syllabus. I also did the reading assignments immediately after they were assigned; I never let things pile up.

In addition to alleviating stress, turning in an assignment two months before it's due not only startles a lot of professors, it impresses them. Sometimes, they would go over it, then give it back to me with corrections and such.

In fact, about the only time I'd go out was the night before a test. It helped to take my mind off of things. The next day, I'd go over everything very quickly right before the test--at least when I could--and I did well.

college

Yes, I had been in school for weeks with a UTI I didn't feel pain from for some reason. My urine smelled foul but I attributed that to the literal fistful of supplements and vitamins that I take on a daily basis. I don't get fevers, even when incredibly ill, so I had no way of knowing until I was urinating blood. Luckily these acute symptoms of the infection happened on a weekend. I was in school for about a week with one infected tonsil, having to speak during a critique in a drawing class was extremely painful, yet somehow I am able to continue on with my work or tasks that are asked of me.

At the start of the semester I always tell myself that I will do all of the work right away, but I seldom do. I tend to try to avoid distressing situations instead of putting myself through them voluntarily. I am incredibly disorganized with "life" things, less so with material objects and possessions. I seem to do very well in the beginning of the year and can't keep up toward the end. I can't stand to read for very long if it is not reading about one of my interests. I do well on tests, though I always feel that I will fail.

My handwriting is a huge issue for me. I have been diagnosed with Dysgraphia.

I was mostly wondering if anyone else experienced these physical symptoms when trying to do work for school that doesn't interest you.

I have had jobs before, though none have lasted very long, and had little to no problem with tasks asked of me for work so I don't really know why forcing myself to read or write papers when I am cognitively capable of doing so is nearly impossible.

Ditto for me for all of that. I'm pretty sure it's a typical asperger's thing. It really only got to me in courses that I was required to take for "general education" (load of bollocks). People think I'm being immature or lazy but I really can't help my instinctual reaction to these things and it results in more stress for me than most people. I still get the work done despite all the stress and yet people still act like I'm immature/lazy despite everything I go through that they don't have to worry about. On top of that I do better than all of them! I think they're the real whiners.

But anyways, have you tried coffee? It helps me focus on things that I wouldn't usual want to do. I also practice my robot mode where I try my best not to think about how much I hate what I'm currently doing.

Remember, attending college is a choice. College is not the right place for every young adult.

One aspect of college is proving you can meet deadlines and have mastered the material (papers and exams). You know that.




Really!? Do you really think that if you blow off the end of semester work you will get worse grades than you deserve? I would not advocate that anyone stay in college at the risk of their health; never. But be logical and realistic, colleges require performance; not the end of semester blow-off.

If college is not for you, so be it. It's not a life requirement. Perhaps you would be good to yourself to do something else.

But if you reflect logically (not emotionally) and find that you really want college; Dunnyveg's formula (above) is the best course of action.

I'd wager that with a doctor's note you can get a postponement of papers and even some exams. But, you'll need to complete them on another deadline. Ask yourself if that will trigger more stress related illness and if your answer is yes; well, then you have your answer. If your answer is; I want college no matter what, then get the postponements and go Dunnyveg's way.

You are at a crossroad, treat it as such; make a decision to not waste anymore time and money. Either restart your college life in earnest or leave at the end of the semester. Be good to yourself and be true to yourself.

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At the start of the semester I always tell myself that I will do all of the work right away, but I seldom do. I tend to try to avoid distressing situations instead of putting myself through them voluntarily. I am incredibly disorganized with "life" things, less so with material objects and possessions. I seem to do very well in the beginning of the year and can't keep up toward the end. I can't stand to read for very long if it is not reading about one of my interests. I do well on tests, though I always feel that I will fail.

I was mostly wondering if anyone else experienced these physical symptoms when trying to do work for school that doesn't interest you.

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I have a similar problem, I have to fight with myself to not loose momentum around midterms and finals. I often feel like a complete failure and college is so overwhelming at times that I get physically ill. I'll have a meltdown and have to sleep for several days. It's horribly inconvenient because academia never stops. If I get behind I then have to struggle to catch up again which is the source of even more stress.

The best recommendation I can offer you is to contact the disability specialists at your college and register yourself as disabled. Request extra time on exams and the ability to negotiate deadlines with your profs when your health issues get in the way of your studies. My school just added a program specifically for autistic students and I meet with an autism specialist twice a week. This is the first semester I've worked with them, I'm hoping it improves my academic performance. Check and see if your college has a similar program they're "trendy" right now and a lot of grant money is being dispersed to support them.

I have a love/hate relationship with academia. I've decided I want this degree and more than the degree, the field of research I'm in is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Your young and you have plenty of time to decide where you want life to take you.

Yayjess, all the things you mention apply to me. More specifically:

It sounds to me as if you need some self-discipline. I did too, and consequently went into the Navy. So, I didn't start college until I was 22, and was a little more mature. Since I had to pay for most of my schooling (the Navy did have a program, but the money didn't go very far), I worked during the day and attended classes in the evening, which gave me an added impetus to do the work. It is tough.

I too have problems concentrating on stuff that really doesn't interest me. It's back to the maturity issue, which unfortunately is a word we don't hear often anymore. Part of maturity is realizing we all have to do things we don't want to do. More practically, this is the reason I limited my study time each day, but did it every day. If I read or studied much more than two hours, I quit retaining the material.

Here's a thought for you. One of the ways I got through my enlistment in the Navy was to compile a list of the days I had left. Every evening before I went to sleep, I'd gratefully scratch off that date, meaning I had one less day to go. It reminded me that my enlistment wasn't interminable Maybe you could do the same thing.

I've never had substance abuse problems, but I had a brother who did, and attended some twelve-step meetings with him from time to time. They used to say they had to take things one day at a time, or even one minute at a time. When things got really tough, I'd take this approach toward my responsibilities. It was a good way to keep from becoming overwhelmed.

At the time, I was very interested in Zen Buddhism (though I now identify as Christian). Part of Zen is sitting in meditation, which takes great discipline, and did wonders for my concentration. You might want to find a way to incorporate meditation into your spiritual or religious practices.

Having said all this, I loathed and dreaded every minute I spent in school--from kindergarten right through grad school. School for me was a means to an end, and worth it. It put me where I want to be in life.

One of the other posters said college isn't for everybody, and this person is correct. You may want to think about at least suspending your schooling for a while and getting yourself a job--hopefully in a field that comes close to matching your interests.

One final thing: When I was in school, they didn't have any such diagnosis as AS; I thought I was simply a freak of nature. My handwriting not only wasn't very pretty, it hurt badly to do it. And considering most of my upper-level exams consisted of three hours writing in a blue book, today I can barely write at all, and my handwriting is barely legible. I would definitely arrange things so you can use a computer rather than possibly doing permanent damage to yourself the way I did. Barely being able to write out a check today isn't worth it, especially if there is an alternative.

Last edited by Dunnyveg on 18 Dec 2011, 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Right now I'm a junior in high school, but I'm in the middle of my semester exams as well, so perhaps I can help.
I have recently gone through a short period (in fact I'm still recovering from it) where I could not focus on anything (even what I was most interested in) or notice small details and think methodically like I could before. Put simply, I thought I was losing my AS. Eventually I decided to take a hard look at why I was becoming this way, and I came up with one solution: Train your mind. Always be careful to think about things for a long time once in a while, even if it's only about your own special interests. Also, meet with your professors if you are having problems in their class. I've heard that many professors wish that their students met with them more, and that is most often the case at my high school. Of course, there will always be 1 or 2 teachers who assume you're not putting effort into their class. Then you should try and talk to some other students.

I have some medical issues and my physical symptoms are always exacerbated by stress. I also experience a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. I've struggled with this throughout college (I'm in my second year) and haven't found a good way to deal with it yet.

Are you connected to the disability office/academic support at your school? I don't really use the accommodations I have in place, but it's good that I have them because I can always go talk to the lady who works in that office. If I'm having major physical symptoms or panic attacks, I can talk to her and she can talk to teachers for me or help me talk to them.

Yeah I drink coffee almost every day but I take Adderall too, even though I hate it I can't do things I don't feel compelled to do unless I take it, even then its only a band aid over a gaping wound

College is a necessity. You can't survive in this world unless you have a trade or college degree. I already deal with a MASSIVE amount of stress, EVERY DAY. I deal with stress regular people would probably end up in a mental institution over. Do you really think I will be able to take care of myself without being better off than making minimum wage? I can assure you that I won't be able to. I could barely keep my life in order making $12 an hour working 35 hours a week doing insurance.

Unfortunately I was born with a disabling condition which affects my ability to turn things in on time and to be able to perform under duress. Why are you even here?

Considering the fact that my IQ is very above average and that I have no issues with learning or comprehension. My main difficulty with school is doing things the way that instructors want them done.

thanks for trolling

I am 100% not surprised that you are not on the autism spectrum, its people like you that make the world a terrible place to live in every single day, though somehow I think that that makes you happy. Thankfully I have learned how to deal with people who are antagonistic and exclusionary in person, you can't do much when people hide behind the internet as far as mocking someone until they are in tears but when I do it brings me as much joy as trolling does to you