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glo1973
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02 Nov 2006, 7:56 pm

can somebody please explain what a melt down is as when my son loses his temper or whatever i call it a flip and i would like a better termanolgy for it



MrMark
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02 Nov 2006, 9:19 pm

Temper tantrum?


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MishLuvsHer2Boys
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02 Nov 2006, 9:19 pm

Take a temper tantrum in a normal child that doesn't last long and isn't as focused or intense and increase that to a longer period of time, that's the way I would describe it. A temper tantrum often the child is aware of things around him/her, at times with a meltdown the child forgets at times what caused him/her to get that far in emotional outburst and all and it can sometimes be triggered by being overwhelmed especially sensory wise and all.



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02 Nov 2006, 10:32 pm

I still get meltdowns (maybe once or twice a year... depends...) and I'm an adult (or 'least I'm 'sposed to be, heheh)...
Only in times of great stress AND sensory overload, though... And it's exactly that: I become completely unaware of my surroundings, and often even injure myself.

I really wish I didn't do that anymore; it really worries the bf and I wind up having to make excuses to co-workers / friends / family afterwards, which stresses me because I'm a really bad liar.

Is this abnormal in adults?



walk-in-the-rain
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02 Nov 2006, 10:53 pm

Temper tantrum is not really an equivalent term because they are associated with manipulation and bad behavior - meltdowns are often uncontrollable when they reach that point. The control part needs to be worked on before the person goes into overload. Here is a very good article about meltdowns and shutdowns and there is also a comment at the bottom from a psychologist who has written a report for parents called Fragile World on The Spectrum.

http://thiswayoflife.org/blog/?p=69



three2camp
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03 Nov 2006, 10:19 pm

Thank you for that link - so much of that is what I had long suspected.



CelticGoddess
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07 Nov 2006, 10:05 pm

DrowningMedusa wrote:
Is this abnormal in adults?


I don't think it's abnormal at all. Two weeks ago I attended an Autism Symposium and heard a variety of people speak (Attwood, Willey, Grandin, Blackburn etc) and Ros Blackburn said she still has meltdowns from time to time. Temple said that no amount of tools or coaching will prevent an autistic from screaming when they're put in a position that they can't handle. For her, it's hearing a hairdryer. She said it's like a dentist drilling a nerve.



ster
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08 Nov 2006, 12:43 pm

hubby still has meltdowns, although he works very hard to control them........



hyper_alien
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08 Nov 2006, 7:14 pm

I had a meltdown yesterday


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Namiko
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09 Nov 2006, 12:21 am

ster wrote:
hubby still has meltdowns, although he works very hard to control them........


That's kind of what tends to happen as people get older. They learn what they react to and learn to try and take the appropriate measures to either lessen the severity or control it altogether.


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02 Dec 2006, 10:35 am

No, I wouldn't say meltdowns are abnormal in autistic adults. Even though we try to control them, we get into situations sometimes where we are completely overloaded and revert to atavistic behaviour.

I had a bad meltdown in the doctor's surgery 4 weeks ago because I thought she was
completely dismissing my concerns and making me out to be the one in the wrong because I was having sensory issues with noise where I work.

It ended up where I did quite a bit of damage to myself and she was just sitting there drumming her fingers on the desk! I need to see a doctor regularly to get repeats on my prescriptions.

Anyway, the following day I was told I had to see another doctor. It didn't go well either, especially when she said it was just too bad if I wasn't coping with the sensory issues and I started screaming (something I rarely do). Then when she later on suggested that I go back to my other doctor, I started swearing and screaming (again, things I usually don't do).

It is horrible feeling like a cornered rat and that is why adults still have meltdowns. I try and control myself for months at a time and then one day it gets too hard to stop the emotions from exploding outwards like an erupting volcano.


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ster
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03 Dec 2006, 11:07 am

pandora, so sad that you had to put up with incompetent drs....hope you find a dnw one that's better



Pandora
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03 Dec 2006, 11:11 am

Thanks ster. What annoys me now is some people are saying I should go back to her. I was supposed to have a pap smear too but wouldn't want her to touch me as I think she might be too rough.

I have to find someone within the next 6-7 weeks to get another prescription written out for Efexor. The pap smear can probably wait a little bit.

I'm also getting some grief from my younger daughter's dad. He said I should apply for a medical retirement from work. I said they will only say I am not sick enough and it relies on finding a doctor who would give me 3 months off work first. I cope okay with work most of the time. Also, if I had to leave, it would be hard to get another job should I need one.


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DataSage
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03 Dec 2006, 2:12 pm

Meltdowns are completely normal. I usually have 2-3 a semester in school (particularly around this time of year). Social anxiety can sometimes increase this, or push one to the brink--I know that's what happened with my most recent one.

It's so tough to control, especially when you feel like no one is listening to you. They're hearing you, but you know they're not LISTENING. It's aggravating, and as Pandora said, you feel so cornered and helpless, and the frustration level builds to a point where you simply CANNOT maintain your cool whatsoever. The problem is, some NTs are so damn judgemental that if they're in the presence of a meltdown, they'll try painting it as a psycho-scene, which REALLY pisses me off... especially if you think they're your friends.



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04 Dec 2006, 7:12 am

People say "just control yourself" and I do keep a lid on a lot of things for a long time but every 12 months or so, it just gets too much. They say "use your strategies" to avoid getting frustrated in the first place eg. don't get irritated by the annoying things other people do but again, it gets hard to use those strategies when you are at the point of no return.

We tend to cope well for a while and then explode.


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SweXtal
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05 Dec 2006, 5:32 am

When I get a meltdown in a serious way I can forget my respiratory needs and simply stop breathing. It not helping with a skull injury induced ephilepsy. I manage to live alone though, through medication.

My meltdowns simply gives me a lockup that can leave me out of the world for about a minute and then suddenly continue a conversation I was stopping/pausing/halting for a minute and not be aware that I've been passed out.

This has made me a very careful driver and I don't drive except I have a licensed driver at my side knowing my short blackouts.

When I goes into empathy blackouts, for example a kid being taunted, I have to turn my eyes to my fingertips just to be able to move my focal point to whatever is available.

There's a lot of these small thingies cross-margining authistic behaviours but still leaving me in the asperger field.