muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1072
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 Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 6:20 pm Post subject: What skills do you have that you didn't have in high school |
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I learned to not talk to strangers. Don't interrupt or intrude on people.
Don't get personal with people.
If it feels uncomfortable, weird, or you have to "try", don't do it. It's probably rude.
You don't have to answer to them if you don't want to.
Men relate by doing things together. Women relate by sharing and talking.
If they're staring, you did something wrong.
That is what I learned since middle school in the 9th grade.
Currently I am almost done with tenth and have no friends except for my cousin, who is normal but a nerd.
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"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive" |
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as408
Blue Jay
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Joined: Mar 26, 2011
Age: 31
Posts: 96
Location: San Jose, CA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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understanding that just because someone has a super strong opinion, it doesn't make them correct
understanding that just because two people are friendly with each other, doesn't mean they actually like each other
they could simply be being polite
being able to talk with girls (on a friendship level)
generating spontaneous humor (jokes, wisecracks, humorous observations)
driving an automobile
if someone at work disrespects me, i still maintain a purely professional demeanor
that somebody laughing in response to something I said doesn't automatically mean they are making fun of me
being able to chat with strangers
not being overly eager to please all my co-workers everytime |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8229
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 5:57 am Post subject: |
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I've learnt not to talk about my special interests too much with friends. In High School, others knew I was so obsessed and they stopped being friends with me, and kept saying, ''you're so obsessed!'' and in a science lesson we were looking up psychology on the internet and one of the girls happened to be looking up Autism and she found one of the symptoms under it was ''being fixed on a subject/talking and thinking about it non-stop'', and she pointed to me and said, ''maybe you have Autism - you're fixed on a subject and can't stop talking and thinking about it!'' and that was the first time somebody had ever suspected my condition that I learned to hide for so many years. Then one day one of them said, ''you're going to lose a lot of friends in life if you don't learn to keep your obsessions to yourself a little bit,'' and that actually got through to me, and so now I have friends that I didn't have in school and I have learned to keep my obsessions to myself.
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23 |
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as408
Blue Jay
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Joined: Mar 26, 2011
Age: 31
Posts: 96
Location: San Jose, CA
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 12:37 am Post subject: |
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I whole heartedly relate to this special interests thing and inundating others with it.
| Joe90 wrote: | | I've learnt not to talk about my special interests too much with friends. In High School, others knew I was so obsessed and they stopped being friends with me, and kept saying, ''you're so obsessed!'' and in a science lesson we were looking up psychology on the internet and one of the girls happened to be looking up Autism and she found one of the symptoms under it was ''being fixed on a subject/talking and thinking about it non-stop'', and she pointed to me and said, ''maybe you have Autism - you're fixed on a subject and can't stop talking and thinking about it!'' and that was the first time somebody had ever suspected my condition that I learned to hide for so many years. Then one day one of them said, ''you're going to lose a lot of friends in life if you don't learn to keep your obsessions to yourself a little bit,'' and that actually got through to me, and so now I have friends that I didn't have in school and I have learned to keep my obsessions to myself. |
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muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1072
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 1:43 am Post subject: |
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| as408 wrote: | I whole heartedly relate to this special interests thing and inundating others with it.
| Joe90 wrote: | | I've learnt not to talk about my special interests too much with friends. In High School, others knew I was so obsessed and they stopped being friends with me, and kept saying, ''you're so obsessed!'' and in a science lesson we were looking up psychology on the internet and one of the girls happened to be looking up Autism and she found one of the symptoms under it was ''being fixed on a subject/talking and thinking about it non-stop'', and she pointed to me and said, ''maybe you have Autism - you're fixed on a subject and can't stop talking and thinking about it!'' and that was the first time somebody had ever suspected my condition that I learned to hide for so many years. Then one day one of them said, ''you're going to lose a lot of friends in life if you don't learn to keep your obsessions to yourself a little bit,'' and that actually got through to me, and so now I have friends that I didn't have in school and I have learned to keep my obsessions to myself. |
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The thing is, I just DONT KNOW anybody, I NEVER talk to anyone about my special interests
I dont really have any odd interests anyways
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"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive" |
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biribiri20
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 23, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 131
Location: New York
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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I think making eye contact and being able to run errands for my parents were the biggest ones for me. Just ordering food at McDonald's was like a death sentence in itself. I didn't have any friends in high school until my last year there so I had no one to share my special interests with anyway.
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I like making friends! Even if I'm not the best at it ^^;
Diagnosis: ADHD-PI, suspected AS
Your Aspie Score: 142 of 200, Your NT Score: 74 of 200, You are very likely an Aspie
AQ: 38/EQ: 16/SQ: 52
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JesseCat
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 27, 2011
Posts: 228
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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Things I have learned working as a salesperson throughout college and being forced to talk to on average over 100 different people in a typical workday:
Don't ask a million personal questions.
It's okay to go up to people and say hello. No one is going to take out an axe and chop off your head if they don't want to talk to you.
Even if people reject you, it's not the end of the world.
Don't tell people your personal problems when first meeting them.
Don't go on and on about an obscure topic/special interest.
Act interested in what people have to say.
A sincere compliment goes a long way. |
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Colinn
Majestic Phoenix
Joined: Apr 08, 2012
Posts: 2191
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:10 pm Post subject: |
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After High School my eye contact vastly improved as well as my shyness. Now I can look and talk to anyone if I have to, not so good at the talking part but hey, one step at a time.
I also learned not to become dependent on people and just do things on my own, which has been necessary for me most of the time now that my number of friends has lowered.
One last important thing would be standing up for myself when I feel its appropriate. I've always been naturally polite so normally if people were criticizing me or insulting me I would just accept it. |
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Aspertastic424
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 04, 2012
Posts: 87
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| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:27 am Post subject: |
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Its funny. Everything ahs kind of fallen into place. I learn to use my time well, to handle things in my own control, my own sphere of influence.
Too not think too much about speaking to people. To just get out and meet people, and work at activities even if they dont seem like much fun. Also getting things done better adn quicker, without quite the parental support i used to recieve |
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NicoleG
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 661
Location: Dallas-Fort Worth
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| Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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| JesseCat wrote: | | Act interested in what people have to say. |
I'll add a corollary to this one:
Find someone interesting.
I started with the lady tellers I see at the bank almost daily, and when one of them started talking about her garden I started asking simple questions that allowed me to seem interested. The thing is, even if I don't find the topic all that interesting to discuss, by listening to what she's saying and forcing myself to ask pertinent questions, I actually am showing interest, and if I'm actually listening and paying attention to her answers, I'm learning something about her and her life that I didn't know before. Hence, I'm getting to know her, even it's just as an acquaintance. I will probably never share a meal with this lady, but I am practicing important social interaction and learning about how to pay more attention to others outside of myself.
This is by no means required. I'm a social person, and at the time I was dealing with how to get past the stigmatism I'd earned for being non-emotional and uncaring. Showing interest in a person displays to them that you care. I may not care one lick about gardening, but I do care that this nice lady behind the counter is having a good life. I'm not feigning caring, but I'm able to show it via feigning an interest in her gardening. It's a small price to pay for learning valuable social interaction. |
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