ardentauthor
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Dec 28, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 30
Location: Eastern U.S.
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 Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 8:21 am Post subject: Do you hide your mental illnesses? |
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If you are depressed, do you act cheerful in public, no matter how hard it is? If you are very anxious, do you try to appear calm?
I think people should try to hide their problems from the public eye, and usually from friends. If they can't understand (which most can't), displaying your disorders will only lead to discrimination. |
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Bun
Bunnymen
Joined: Jan 09, 2012
Posts: 3250
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 8:39 am Post subject: |
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| I hate my depression, so yes, I try not to let it be known to anyone that matters. But otherwise, there are also the type of people who'd think depression is the same as feeling a bit sad - or anything voluntary and attitude-based - so they won't understand it anyway. |
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AldousH
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 06, 2010
Age: 25
Posts: 159
Location: SE Europe
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:23 am Post subject: |
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| No. I don't know if it's because I don't care for most people's opinions or because I want to commune with those who feel the same. I think this is a bad thing, that I have to work on. I've been having friends tell me that they're tired of me being so sad all the time. |
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Aimless
innocent bystander
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 8159
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:28 am Post subject: |
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I eventually learned that people didn't want to hear about my depression, not necessarily
because they didn't care or didn't want to help, but that they couldn't and felt frustrated.
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Detach ed |
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Wandering_Stranger
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 07, 2012
Posts: 1138
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:40 am Post subject: |
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| Given the reaction I've had from some, (that I'm faking it) I've had to hide it, yes. |
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Kareninovna
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Age: 18
Posts: 37
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:44 am Post subject: |
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I'm terrible at suppressing my feelings, so no, I tend not to. It probably helps that I'm open about my depression and anxiety, having told my entire health class about it while presenting a project on the matter. And having had a fair share of panic attacks and breakdowns in school.
At the same time, I won't shout it from the rooftops. If it's not pertinent to the discussion, I won't bring it up. Same goes for Asperger's. |
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questor
Hermit
Joined: Apr 24, 2011
Posts: 1983
Location: Twilight Zone
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:00 pm Post subject: Hiding problems. |
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Yes, I try not to dump my misery on others, unless I am in a really bad way. A few years ago, after problems with a relative, I was homeless, jobless, and my other health problems had gotten worse. Naturally, my minor chronic depression escalated to a major depression under that massive load of problem induced stress. Eventually other relatives managed to help me out, by buying me a trailer to rent in another state. The state I had been living in didn't think my health problems, and lack of job and home qualified me for any cash benefits, and they even gave me a hard time about getting Medicaid, but did deign to allow me to get food stamps. Once I moved to the other state and met the residency requirements, I was able to get temporary cash assistance, Medicaid, and food stamps. I used the cash assistance to pay bills, including rent to the relatives who got me the trailer. I used Medicaid to get some help for my health problems, and was able to use my subsequent medical records to qualify for SS benefits, as my health problems have left me unable to work any more. The state that gave me a hard time was PA, which is a shame because I like a lot of other stuff about PA. The state that took my problems seriously is NY. I have relatives here, too, who provide a support network, as well. Also, I like the part of NY I am living in. Although I am not actually by any of the lakes, it is the Fingerlakes region--a very nice area nature wise, and with lots and lots of lovely mountains all around. 
This improvement in my living arrangement, including living alone, which is best for me, and in my financial situation, and in getting medical assistance, resulted in bringing my major depression back down to my normal low level chronic depression. I can deal with my normal level of depression okay. That major one was a problem, though. Glad that's over with. I still occasionally have "blue funks", which are a little deeper than usual, but as long as I don't have a lot of other things going wrong, I am able to use my coping methods to work myself out of it.
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Most people don't want you to dump your negative emotions on them, unless there is something they can do to help. If they give you advice each time you dump on them, but then you don't follow the advice, and just keep dumping on them again, it's a real turn off. I mean, if you refuse the help, why should they keep listening to your drama queen routine? All you are doing with that is adding unnecessary stress to their lives, and they already have enough of their own without having yours added onto their load. So, skip the drama queen act. It's a lousy show.
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As for my Asperger's, only my sister knows, and that's only because she guessed on her own. I did try to tell my elderly father, but he didn't want to hear it, so I dropped the subject. I haven't "come out" about this with others. I prefer to keep it on a need to know basis. |
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FireBird
Can't think cows will eat me!
Joined: Feb 13, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 2296
Location: Cow Town
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't usually hide it from my friends because all my friends have mental illness as well. I have a friend that is bipolar and PTSD, another that is autistic and ADHD and possibly bipolar, and another that has schizoaffective disorder. So, we don't mind sharing about our experiences. With regular people I don't usually tell but sadly either my mom does or my annoying brother does. In a way I don't like everyone knowing but in other ways they still treat me with respect and don't think badly of me. They truly understand what I am going through. At one of the restaurants we go to, there is someone there that also suffers from bipolar disorder so I told her about my autism and schizoaffective disorder. Because of that she annoys my annoying brother because she knows that my brother is annoying. I love my brother though and he is huggable. I love him. I hug him as well to annoy him. He is the huggable lovable brother. I am an artist that starves. That is what artists do. According to one of the sites I went to 90% of artists starve and make less than $1000 a year with their starving art. Did you know that I am in the 10% and still make very little money? I make around $2000 with my art for the business each year and only because of all the shows we go to. Without the shows my art by itself makes less than $100 a year. Starve for the win! Sadly I am fat because of all the poisonous pills. I have gained massive weight even though I ain't eating much right now due to the depression. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:00 pm Post subject: |
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I'm actually trying not to bottle things up too much, because every time I reach my breaking point it's worse than if I just have symptoms rather than trying to hide them. However I try not to be very open about it in situations where its just going to bring me more pain, like if I am worried I'll get ridiculed or something.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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IdahoRose
Imaginary Friend
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Joined: Feb 25, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 18651
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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| When I was younger, I hid my mental illnesses from my best friend. She had no idea how bad I had depression or anxiety until one day a panic attack prevented me from going to her house and I had to tell her about it. She said, "I had no idea you were struggling. You always seem so happy." Truthfully, she was the only thing in my life that made me happy at that time. That's why, in her eyes, I was just fine, when in reality, I was a wreak whenever she wasn't around. |
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mntn13
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 07, 2011
Posts: 1006
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:01 am Post subject: |
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I decided a while ago to tell my kids what is going on with me, not in detailed whiny mode but just tell them so they weren't confused or think my behavior was their fault or anything like that.
I don't have friends to tell irl and I absolutely do not share with other family members for various reasons.
But I spend a lot of energy when I have to go out (to a store or something necessary) to hide my anxiety and I have a sort of 'cheery' fake covering I put on temporarily that is the best I can come up with to blend with normal people.
When I get really depressed, it is impossible to hide it. |
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NullCoding
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 01, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 42
Location: Philadelphia suburbs
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:19 am Post subject: Re: Do you hide your mental illnesses? |
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| ardentauthor wrote: | If you are depressed, do you act cheerful in public, no matter how hard it is? If you are very anxious, do you try to appear calm?
I think people should try to hide their problems from the public eye, and usually from friends. If they can't understand (which most can't), displaying your disorders will only lead to discrimination. |
Yes and yes! My official list includes *deep breath* AS, iT-ADHD, GAD, clinical depression, and a slew of learning disabilities...not to mention all the side effects of AS.
For example, it's hard to hide that the left side of my body functions at maybe 90% efficiency compared to the right. But I can disguise everything else. I'm like a cat. People think I'm happy, or at least content, but never ever can guess the truth by the way I carry myself and the way I act around 99% of people.
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http://nullcoding.deviantart.com - Art
http://ncprime.blogspot.com - Programming |
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FroggySmiles
Hummingbird
Joined: Apr 11, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 23
Location: Moon
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| Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:59 am Post subject: |
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| I tend not to tell people about my depression. My imediate family knows, but beyond that I don't tell too many people. Most think I'm always happy. I have told boyfriends, but at least one always threw it in my face during an agurment. |
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caveman2
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 18, 2012
Age: 73
Posts: 29
Location: Hawaii U.S.A.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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Most of the time I don't talk about it, especially to NT types.
I write all the time, journal type stuff, nothing that I would imagine anyone would want to read. I write because it seems to help, it fills up my mind and I don't think of other things. Even in my writing I get tired of repetitious material but sometimes that is the only way to survive it seems.
I'm not at all sure I am able to hide who I am, mostly I avoid people and social situations as much as possible. I can be around people if we are both doing something that does not require social questions and answers but require long periods of solitude between them. |
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kt24
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 06, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 154
Location: a world of my own
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| Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 8:12 am Post subject: |
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Most people who know me know I have AS and depression.
Very few people know that I suffer from SA, GAD and selective mutism as well as probable PTSD.
Even fewer know I've been referred to a psychiatrist about possible bipolar.
Most of the time, I can manage to hide most things- so much so that it's unusual for anyone to know I have AS (they just think I'm weird), and think I'm just very serious (rather than depressed).
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AS, depression, GAD, Social Anxiety, Selective mutism, endometriosis, chronic fatigue syndrome/ME ...what fun!
How am I still going? |
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