Joined: Feb 24, 2010 Posts: 8258 Location: Great Britain
Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:44 am Post subject: I seem to want to see someone humiliate themselves
I don't mean somebody tripping over or anything. I mean I want to see somebody behaving in a way what makes them the center of attention and makes other people look. I want to see somebody screaming and yelling and having some sort of tantrum in public and drawing attention to themselves. That way, for once, I won't feel like I'm in the spotlight and then there will be someone acting ''weirder'' than me (although I don't actually behave in any way that makes me humiliated, but I still get people staring at me as though I do, so I want something to happen what takes people's eyes off of me and on to someone who really is doing something signifficantly unusual and attention-drawing). Also it's something interesting happening, rather than the same old scene. I don't mean violence.
Does anyone else sometimes want something like this to happen? Someone else to have all the attention drawn to them instead of to you? _________________ Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23
Joined: Dec 19, 2011 Age: 16 Posts: 4624 Location: England
Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:46 am Post subject:
I did that last night. And I've done it loads of times before. And I don't really like to see it happen, maybe because I do that. _________________ I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want.
Joined: Dec 12, 2009 Age: 18 Posts: 43978 Location: Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:53 am Post subject:
I used to _________________ Ten's radio show: Next repeated at 7am and 9pm BST Monday at www.ldok.net
My site: www.thinking-different.com
Skype: fiftypencepiece (ConeFool)
Joined: Feb 17, 2012 Posts: 869 Location: Thornaby, UK
Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:17 am Post subject:
I told you how to appear invisible to people. You have gone down the drawing attention to yourself. I know it works, because others can tell you.
They will direct themselves at the most stood out thing, because it grabs they attention. Up to you to ignore the advice or live with it. _________________ INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
“When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.”
Joined: Feb 17, 2012 Posts: 869 Location: Thornaby, UK
Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:56 am Post subject:
syzygyish wrote:
Schadenfreude
Was that at me? If so in what way are you using it? _________________ INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
“When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.”
Joined: Feb 17, 2012 Posts: 869 Location: Thornaby, UK
Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:13 am Post subject: Re: I seem to want to see someone humiliate themselves
Joe90 wrote:
That way, for once, I won't feel like I'm in the spotlight and then there will be someone acting ''weirder'' than me (although I don't actually behave in any way that makes me humiliated, but I still get people staring at me as though I do, so I want something to happen what takes people's eyes off of me and on to someone who really is doing something signifficantly unusual and attention-drawing).
Do you remember me saying dancing round like a monkey. While you say I am not with that nutter? When going out clubbing with oranage face tans? _________________ INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
“When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.”
Why do you think you draw attention to yourself? If you're not doing anything unusual then its probably all in you're head. When I was younger I thought the same way, whenever people looked in my direction I always assumed it was me they were looking at and felt self conscience. I always try to remember that most people are as concerned with what you are doing as you are them, so not at all.
Joined: Feb 24, 2010 Posts: 8258 Location: Great Britain
Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:31 am Post subject:
Colinn wrote:
Why do you think you draw attention to yourself? If you're not doing anything unusual then its probably all in you're head. When I was younger I thought the same way, whenever people looked in my direction I always assumed it was me they were looking at and felt self conscience. I always try to remember that most people are as concerned with what you are doing as you are them, so not at all.
Yeah, I know it probably is all in my head, because I know I don't do anything unusual, nobody has ever pointed anything out (like close relatives who I know would be honest with me because they know I have low self-esteem and fear of humiliation), but it just seems so real.
And I have (only ONCE) quite intentionally humiliated myself about 3 years ago. I was having a crying fit in the middle of a busy bus-station, and everybody was staring at me. I was crying because my boyfriend had been really nasty to me and I was feeling so devastated. But, being as NTs lack empathy, they only saw the ''unusual'' side of my behaviour and just decided to point and laugh instead, instead of guessing how upset I was feeling judging by what I was crying about to my friend. I wasn't acting threatening, I was just crying and whining, and not quite knowing where to put myself and do harshly pacing about a little. Nothing too drastic, but enough to attract attention.
But I expect to have attention drawn to me when behaving like that because I was DOING something to make people look. But when I'm just standing or sitting around being normal like everyone else, I don't think I deserve to be humiliated. _________________ Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23
Yeah, I know it probably is all in my head, because I know I don't do anything unusual, nobody has ever pointed anything out (like close relatives who I know would be honest with me because they know I have low self-esteem and fear of humiliation), but it just seems so real.
And I have (only ONCE) quite intentionally humiliated myself about 3 years ago. I was having a crying fit in the middle of a busy bus-station, and everybody was staring at me. I was crying because my boyfriend had been really nasty to me and I was feeling so devastated. But, being as NTs lack empathy, they only saw the ''unusual'' side of my behaviour and just decided to point and laugh instead, instead of guessing how upset I was feeling judging by what I was crying about to my friend. I wasn't acting threatening, I was just crying and whining, and not quite knowing where to put myself and do harshly pacing about a little. Nothing too drastic, but enough to attract attention.
But I expect to have attention drawn to me when behaving like that because I was DOING something to make people look. But when I'm just standing or sitting around being normal like everyone else, I don't think I deserve to be humiliated.
I think an event like that would make you more inclined to think people are looking and judging you, like a feeling of paranoia but I assume you would have felt like this before hand. I can definitely relate to you're experience with NT's though. During my time at school I was regular mocked and made fun of and not one person ever defended me and I had never done anything to provoke it. All for being quiet and a bit different, which I think is where those old feelings stemmed from for me, and some feelings I still have to this day.
Just remember, if you are carrying out you're normal day and you don't think you are acting odd, there's a very good chance you're not! Just try and be happy with the person that you are, its always better to be unique and interesting than normal and dull.
Joined: Feb 04, 2007 Age: 46 Posts: 7362 Location: nobody else but thou and me
Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 7:38 am Post subject:
TechnoDog wrote:
syzygyish wrote:
Schadenfreude
Was that at me? If so in what way are you using it?
No!
Off course not!
I was purely and only pointing out a basic precondition that all humans succumb to
....Between you and me,
it's only matter of time before people get old
and all the silllyness
that they think is so important , just slides off their backs
but, of course, it takes about a hunndred years for a NT to figure out that
but by then _________________ Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle... -Jaleb
It is not until all you're answers are proved wrong
that you will start asking the right questions
Joined: Nov 12, 2011 Posts: 6783 Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 8:34 am Post subject:
Well, if you want to see someone do humiliating things here are some pretty funny ones. They are from a show called Impractical Jokers. It's four guys who challange each other to do embarassing and humiliating things in public as a contest between them and they film it.
I know that you meant that you wanted them to be there in the same place with you to draw attention away from you, but short of hiring a midget with a pot bellied pig on a leash to run interference for you I don't have any suggestions.
I'm posting these in hopes you will watch and they will cheer you up some. I just discovered this show a few weeks ago and I love it. I laughed so hard the first time I watched it, I was crying. I almost peed on myself it was so funny. I hope you get a smile from these clips from it.
And remember, your most embarrassing and most humilating moment is just someone else's passing amusement. That applies to everyone. Hardly anyone else will remember the things you did that embarrassed you, and thats the way it is with everyone. Our own actions stand out in our minds and we remember them long after everybody else has completely forgotten. They carry more weight with us and mean more to us than to anybody else. I know that you can't just turn it on and off, and it's certainly not this simple, but please try to remember that the way you are perceiving things in those situations is probably not how it actually is. You probably do blend right in but if you are afraid that you don't, you will interpret everything as a sign that you don't. I know that's probably not a lot of help, and knowing that won't make you feel any better, but maybe remembering it when you are out and about can help you try to at least question yourself when you think that people are laughing at you.
Anyway, here are some funny clips. I hope you like them.
