Summer_Twilight
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 14, 2011
Posts: 690
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 Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 7:44 pm Post subject: Reaching out and being ignored |
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| About a month ago, I had decided to give a party for someone as a form as saying thank you for doing something for me for many years. I had also invited other associated that we both had been affiliated with as well in addition to my own friends. One out of all rest and my closest friends acknowledged the invite. I noticed that these aquiantances looked at my invite but none bothered to RSVP to the situation or let alone show up. I wanted to throw this thank you party and the guest of honor did not bother to show up. What do these social cues mean? Dislike or not I want to know |
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YourMajesty
Toucan
Joined: Apr 02, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 251
Location: Some place where English isn't the native language
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| Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 7:47 pm Post subject: |
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| That has nothing to do with social cues, but with respect and basic decency. |
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Summer_Twilight
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 14, 2011
Posts: 690
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| Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 8:09 pm Post subject: |
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| I didn't think so. I wrote to the guest of honor in advance and and told them what I was doing. They wrote back and said they didn't know if they were coming but would let me know either way. However, they never responded after that. |
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Chronos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2010
Posts: 5231
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 12:00 am Post subject: Re: Reaching out and being ignored |
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| Summer_Twilight wrote: | | About a month ago, I had decided to give a party for someone as a form as saying thank you for doing something for me for many years. I had also invited other associated that we both had been affiliated with as well in addition to my own friends. One out of all rest and my closest friends acknowledged the invite. I noticed that these aquiantances looked at my invite but none bothered to RSVP to the situation or let alone show up. I wanted to throw this thank you party and the guest of honor did not bother to show up. What do these social cues mean? Dislike or not I want to know |
Attending an event can be burdensome sometimes, but I do believe the guest of honor was rude not to at least explain that they appreciated the thought but it wasn't a good time.
As for the others, did you invite them through Facebook? I've seen more than one occasion where a very social individual has invited well over 50 people to an event through Facebook and so few people responded to the invite that the event was called off. For many individuals they had already had other plans. A few others weren't in the area, and of the rest I just got the impression that it was an inconvenience they weren't willing to make, or they were not closely associated with the host. Frequently people attend events not because they think it will be fun, but because they feel it's a social obligation. |
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BMctav
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 14, 2012
Posts: 144
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 7:15 am Post subject: |
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| Summer_Twilight wrote: | | I wrote to the guest of honor in advance and and told them what I was doing. They wrote back and said they didn't know if they were coming but would let me know either way. However, they never responded after that. |
If the person you are wanting to throw a party for couldn't commit, then I think you should have given up on the idea.  |
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Summer_Twilight
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 14, 2011
Posts: 690
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 7:26 am Post subject: |
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| No, I did a nice evite and was doing a thank you/ summer kick-off party for not only these people but my friends as well. I had even written the the person in advance to explain to them that I was going to throw them a party in their honor but they brushed me off by basically saying, "Well I don't know but I will let you know." I never heard anything back from them or from the others who we we both know. So it just turned into a "Summer Kick-Off Party." |
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Summer_Twilight
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 14, 2011
Posts: 690
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 10:23 am Post subject: |
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One more example here- One of the guests who I invited told a friend of mine last week that they could not make it because they had several other parties to attend and then a wedding. My friend said that they showed them the photos. However, I just really feel like they could have contacted me and said no.
Also, do you think it would be okay for me to put my foot down with the guest of honor and explain that I was hurt. If so, how could I do it without putting anyone on the offense? I was thinking of writing a letter to them. |
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NicoleG
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 661
Location: Dallas-Fort Worth
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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| If no one committed to attending, that sucks, but you shouldn't give them a hard time about it. If no one responded, that's rude, but that's become more the norm. Social customs regarding invitations and RSVPs have become so ridiculously lax in modern times, people show up without first saying they will, some will give every indication that they will attend and then don't, and others never respond at all. Just because you want to throw a party, no one is obligated to attend, and about the only time you really have a right to call them on it is if they said they would attend yet didn't and you were put out because you saved them a seat, purchased their tickets, had extra food, etc. on their behalf. |
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Summer_Twilight
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 14, 2011
Posts: 690
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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| A family member and I talked about the party earlier today and their actions. They told me that when you don't get a response it usually is a sign of the turning the invite down. Although it is the norm, I don't like it. It still is no excuse. Whether you go or not, I feel better when someone cannot make it. |
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