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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13669
Location: My house
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 Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 1:24 pm Post subject: Does anyone not take friendship seriously anymore |
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Online or in real life.
I don't really have friends in real life but online I had stopped taking friendship so seriously. People come and go. People disappear all the time and people turn on you, people act all flakey on you. Some may say they want to be my friend and then I never see them online ever again after we had talked once or they just ignore me when I try talking to them. I don't know if they are being flakes or I scared them off.
So anyone I talk to online, they are just more of an acquaintance and not a friend. I don't know if I have scared him off because I don't know if they are just making excuses because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I am not going to assume they are being honest just because they are aspie because aspies can lie too like NTs.
I just got so sick of all the flakes and scaring people off I don't take friends seriously anymore.
Also people you have as your friends on any websites like Experience Project or Facebook etc. they can just remove you any time they want so it's not a real friend you have because it's basically a collection of people you have as friends. People can remove you for lots of reasons like you never talk to them or they don't like what you post on your wall, they don't like that you are inactive or they remove you for something you post. So I don't take that seriously either.
I find it better to not take friendship so seriously because then I have no hard feelings if they stop responding to me or disappear off messenger. |
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Tim_Tex
Professor Hineybottom
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 41865
Location: Houston, Texas
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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I have that issue as well, and it hurts so much. On the other hand, I understand that some people become busy with other things, and don't have as much time to spend with their friends, because these new things now take priority.
But it's very difficult for me because I become very emotionally attached to people.
Last edited by Tim_Tex on Fri May 25, 2012 8:57 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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jhighl
Raven
Joined: Apr 19, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 121
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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| eah same here. For awhile i didnt see the point in freind and relationships and still am un easy about these two things. lol i thought i was the only one. |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87359
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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DJFester
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 06, 2009
Posts: 1024
Location: Minneapolis MN USA
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 5:22 am Post subject: |
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That's why I stopped using things like ICQ, IRC, etc. quite some time ago, and will not join Facebook, Twitter, or anything like that, either. I learned that people I thought were friends would suddenly turn on me, eventually lose interest in talking to me, suddenly change their online status to "busy" or "do not disturb" as soon as I logged on to purposely avoid me, or turn out to be completely different IRL from the person they portrayed themselves to be online. My wife and her family are always on Facebook bragging about everything they do, and that holds absolutely no interest to me, either.
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You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks. |
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ELpH
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 03, 2012
Age: 38
Posts: 15
Location: Southaven, Ms
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 10:48 pm Post subject: Re: Does anyone not take friendship seriously anymore |
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| League_Girl wrote: | Online or in real life.
I don't really have friends in real life but online I had stopped taking friendship so seriously. People come and go. People disappear all the time and people turn on you, people act all flakey on you. Some may say they want to be my friend and then I never see them online ever again after we had talked once or they just ignore me when I try talking to them. I don't know if they are being flakes or I scared them off.
So anyone I talk to online, they are just more of an acquaintance and not a friend. I don't know if I have scared him off because I don't know if they are just making excuses because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I am not going to assume they are being honest just because they are aspie because aspies can lie too like NTs.
I just got so sick of all the flakes and scaring people off I don't take friends seriously anymore.
Also people you have as your friends on any websites like Experience Project or Facebook etc. they can just remove you any time they want so it's not a real friend you have because it's basically a collection of people you have as friends. People can remove you for lots of reasons like you never talk to them or they don't like what you post on your wall, they don't like that you are inactive or they remove you for something you post. So I don't take that seriously either.
I find it better to not take friendship so seriously because then I have no hard feelings if they stop responding to me or disappear off messenger. |
In the past few months I have dealt with friends flaking out on me or me scaring them off in some way or another. If a friend wants to hang out or needs help that is alright to me. |
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Casstranquility
Raven
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 121
Location: Vermont
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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I stopped taking some friendships as seriously. Especially after one friend referred to me as "only an online friend", as if that meant anything to me. They were a real friend to me, they disappeared from my life for three and a half years because I wasn't that important. And I didn't know that. Then there were all of the people I used to email who each disappeared from my life one at a time. I was also rejected by an offline friend, and it hurt so much that I gave up trying to get close to anyone. (Except for a very special relationship, but I wanted more than friendship.)
I can only handle a couple of serious friendships anyway. One or two friends is enough. (And I already have more than that...)
I have 49 Facebook friends. Only two of those are friendships I take seriously. All but my family are kept in the dark as to when I'm online.
I am one of those friends who will stay invisible on chat so I don't have to deal with talking, even if they are a friend. I don't have an interest in doing that for very long. I ignore texts from family too, sometimes. They might keep me texting or chatting longer than I want to be bothered.
(I've only given one person a place in my life where they can chat and text with me without my wanting to stop.)
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Let us comfort each other, and move tenderly when we are able. Let us hold hands and walk bravely, or fearfully together; for as long as there is Love, there is Hope, that everything will be okay, including the things we say are not. |
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