iheartmegahitt
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 Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 9:10 pm Post subject: Why the R word hurts... |
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| Quote: | WHY THE R-WORD HURTS
Advocates explain why the R-word is so hurtful when used in jokes or as part of everyday speech.
The R-word is EXCLUSIVE
“What’s wrong with "retard"? I can only tell you what it means to me and people like me when we hear it. It means that the rest of you are excluding us from your group. We are something that is not like you and something that none of you would ever want to be. We are something outside the "in" group. We are someone that is not your kind. I want you to know that it hurts to be left out here, alone.” – Joseph Franklin Stephens, Special Olympics Virginia athlete and Global Messenger
The R-word IGNORES INDIVIDUALITY
“Words matter. People don't need to scoff at others to make a point. Everyone has a gift and the world would be better off if we recognized it.” – Tim Shriver, CEO of Special Olympics
The R-word equates intellectual disability with being DUMB OR STUPID
When saying the R-word, “What we mean is that he is as stupid as someone who is mentally handicapped, and we mean that in the most derogatory sense. The implication is that the only characteristic of mentally handicapped individuals is their stupidity.” – Crystal, Stanford, CA
The R-word spreads HURT
“It is wrong to pain people with your language. Especially, when you have already been made aware of your oral transgression's impact. Make no mistake about it: WORDS DO HURT! And when you pepper your speak with "retard" and "retarded," you are spreading hurt.” – John C. McGinley, actor and star of the hit TV show “Scrubs”
The R-word is OFFENSIVE
“The word retard is considered hate speech because it offends people with intellectual and developmental disabilities as well as the people that care for and support them. It alienates and excludes them. It also emphasizes the negative stereotypes surrounding people with intellectual and developmental disabilities; the common belief that people with intellectual and developmental disabilities should be segregated, hidden away from society, which, in my opinion, is really old fashioned.” – Karleigh Jones, Special Olympics New Zealand athlete
The R-word is INCORRECT
“When you say the "R" word it makes people feel bad and it hurts my feelings and I don't want to hear you guys say it. Instead, you can call me a leader, a hero, or a human being, but please don't call me the "R" word.” – Dony Knight, Special Olympics Oregon athlete
The R-word is DEROGATORY
“Because the word has become a casual description of anything negative or flawed, ‘retarded’ is no longer considered an appropriate way to describe people with intellectual disabilities. And any use of the word, even when used as slang and not intended to be offensive, is hurtful - because it will always be associated with people who have disabilities.” – Sara Mitton, Board Member, Treasure Valley Down Syndrome Association
The R-word fosters LONELINESS
“It hurts and scares me when I am the only person with intellectual disabilities on the bus and young people start making “retard” jokes or references. Please put yourself on that bus and fill the bus with people who are different from you. Imagine that they start making jokes using a term that describes you. It hurts and it is scary.” – Joseph Franklin Stephens, Special Olympics Virginia athlete and Global Messenger
The R-word is HATE SPEECH
“I don’t think you understand how much you hurt others when you hate. And maybe you don’t realize that you hate. But that’s what it is; your pre-emptive dismissal of them [people with intellectual disabilities], your dehumanization of them, your mockery of them, it’s nothing but another form of hate. It’s more hateful than racism, more hateful than sexism, more hateful than anything.” – Soeren Palumbo, student, advocate, brother to a sister with an intellectual disability. |
I wanted to share this because I notice a lot of people who don't really understand it. I also have a borderline intellectual disability along with Autism and ADHD. I also have a best friend, who is like a sister to me with a mild intellectual disability and this word really hurts her. She hates the R-word.
It might not be a word that hurts you but it hurts others with disabilities. It hurts me because I've always hated the use of this word.
And to those who life out of the country of the US, it's okay if you don't understand the word but at least understand the trouble it causes here in the US. It's really become a big problem here when people use it like this:
| Quote: | | The R-word, “retard,” is slang for the term mental retardation. Mental retardation was what doctors, psychologists, and other professionals used to describe people with significant intellectual impairment. Today the r-word has become a common word used by society as an insult for someone or something stupid. For example, you might hear someone say, “That is so retarded” or “Don’t be such a retard.” When used in this way, the r-word can apply to anyone or anything, and is not specific to someone with a disability. But, even when the r-word is not said to harm someone with a disability, it is hurtful. |
So, I only hope this will help you understand it better.
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AdamAutistic
Snowy Owl
Joined: May 02, 2012
Posts: 140
Location: Rhode Island
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| Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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this looks similar to the "that's so gay" thing.
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Teredia
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Age: 22
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| Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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-_- Retard is a level of IQ back in the 80's when they used words to describe what category of IQ you fell into instead of just numbers., the numbers reflected the categorized group you fell into.
Like i had an IQ of over 150 when i was 7 and i was called Brilliant.
Stupid, Dumb, Brilliant, clever, bright are all words used on that scale of categorisation.
Its just that society has twisted the words to suit themselves and use them as insults..
like Gay used to mean happy and lesbian is a person who comes from the Greek Isl of Lesboss....
I am sure there are a lot of other words out there whose meanings have been changed to suit society...
Its like If i was to say "i have a wet p****" people would look at me n call me a sick bastard, but if i was to say "my cat is wet" they'd be cool with it n know my cat just got wet...
so yeah the meanness is in the word thanks to how society uses the words - unfortunately..
by the way even wrong planet wont let me type P U S S Y because apparently its a baad word... its a damn cute term for a cat and Puss is the female of the domestic cat while the male is the Tom.. also puss is the white/yellow stuff that builds up under the skin usually seen in pimples/zits and is made from dead skin cells and bacteria... |
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oxjox
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 20, 2012
Posts: 57
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| Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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No, that's pus. Though to describe something as 'being covered in pus', you could call it 'p****'. [<- Censored?]
In any case, my two cents:
On many occasions, I have been called both stupid and intelligent. I don't like either of these words. I don't feel that they even have a meaning.
I'm not expecting everyone, especially not those without understanding of life as an outcast, to put as much effort into the contemplation of meaning and the spirit of words, to the level that I do.
However, one day, I am sure common knowledge will include understanding the difference between political correctness and making allowances on behalf of the freedom of others.
Then perhaps discrimination and segregation will finally be found where they belong: in history. |
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MrBackward
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 01, 2012
Age: 22
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Location: Victoria, Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 11:25 pm Post subject: |
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While I have never been called the R word I have been called ignorant and dumb. This is not true but sometimes i can see the validity from an NT perspective, I have adopted the ideology that the R word can be equated to held back which I have flipped on many people to explain why they are retarded.
Through my life I have worked hard to gain the philosophy that I dont care what other people think but I still disdain any sort of condemnation or bullying esspecially when I see how much it can hurt my little brother.
People will always twist words and meanings, who knows maybe one day shoe, egg or feather will have a negitive connotation.
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WerewolfPoet
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Posts: 366
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| Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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I completely sympathize, and, on some level, emphasize, with the sentiment expressed in this post. Because of my social awkwardness, I have often been perceived as intellectually impaired. The only impairment of my intellectual abilities, as far as I am aware, are those relating to social and emotional matters. A friend of mine often uses this "R" word to describe me at times (I have come to discover that she associates Aspeger's with impairment). Even though I am logically aware that she uses the term in jest, the word still hurts my feelings to the point of inducing tears.
It may be a simple arrangement of symbols and characters, but words have a lot of power to them, and this power can leave quite a sting. |
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oxjox
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 20, 2012
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| Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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Egg is an insult in New Zealand. Nowhere else?
I think it comes from 'egghead'. But what kind of attack is that? |
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Rainy
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 24, 2012
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 2:35 am Post subject: |
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| Pretending that people don't see retarded people as stupid or dumb isn't going to solve anything. |
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Aprilviolets
Slave of my ginger cat.
Joined: May 07, 2011
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:44 pm Post subject: Why the R word hurts. |
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I know what you mean there's an even worse word though the "S" Word.
I was called "SPastic" or Spacca when we went past the primary or high schools while I was at the special school.
I hate that word its horrible so I understand you not liking the "R" word. |
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Teredia
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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| oxjox wrote: | No, that's pus. Though to describe something as 'being covered in pus', you could call it 'p****'. [<- Censored?]
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Thanks =) im surprised no one has corrected me on that since i learned that in grade 2... teachers these days... arent the most "intelligent" creatures out there =)
(PS sorry ive insulted any teachers, im a teaching student)  |
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Teredia
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:53 pm Post subject: |
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| oxjox wrote: | Egg is an insult in New Zealand. Nowhere else?
I think it comes from 'egghead'. But what kind of attack is that? |
NZ Australia needs to dissown its next door neighbour... Egg? Seriously? Wait i seriously need to ask some of my kiwi mates if this is true for them also O.O wow you know how are its not to fall off my chair laughing right now O.O |
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Sora
away away
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Age: 25
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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There are words in other languages/countries used similarly to the offensive use of "retard" in English.
In Germany, the word used in much the same way (to insult, to joke about something) is "behindert" which simply is the word for "disabled".
I am sure there are similar words with similar uses and backgrounds in other languages too that also get used to casually as "retard". When trying to inform people with English as a foreign language, I think it's a good idea to compare the "r-word" to the words used in other common languages that are the same or most similar in meaning.
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League_Girl
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| Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 12:54 am Post subject: |
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Honestly I think anyone who is offended by the R word are hypocrites because they use words like stupid and idiot and moron or imbecile and they don't find them offensive either. But yet they all mean people who lack intelligence, low IQs. Also the fact dumb means unable to speak and they are also not offended by that word. Don't forget lame. Also insults to people who can't walk.
If I am going to be offended by the R word, I will mind as well eliminate these words from my vocabulary but since that make it so hard for me because then I wouldn't know what word to use, I can't be offended with the R word.
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heavenlyabyss
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| Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 5:51 am Post subject: |
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Well well well, some strange points of view here.
The OP is right though." I used to use the "r word" often in casual conversation but then someone told me it offended her because her sister had Willie-Prader's syndrome, and was mentally retarded in the clinical sense. So, after she said that I made extra sure not to use it around her. I mean, it's just the polite thing to do.
I also try not to use it in everyday conservation with others, even though I occasionally slip. I guess there are more descriptive words I could use. When other people say it, it now sounds kind of jarring to me because I realize it is pretty offensive to some.
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iheartmegahitt
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| Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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| League_Girl wrote: | Honestly I think anyone who is offended by the R word are hypocrites because they use words like stupid and idiot and moron or imbecile and they don't find them offensive either. But yet they all mean people who lack intelligence, low IQs. Also the fact dumb means unable to speak and they are also not offended by that word. Don't forget lame. Also insults to people who can't walk.
If I am going to be offended by the R word, I will mind as well eliminate these words from my vocabulary but since that make it so hard for me because then I wouldn't know what word to use, I can't be offended with the R word. |
Not really... I mean... retard comes from 'mental retardation'. If you were to say, "that's stupid" then you aren't actually referring to the CURRENT medical term. Most people will say things like, "Oh you are so retarded" or "stop being a retard". It's not just saying, "That's retarded" but the actual use of the word that has gotten out of hand over the years since they got rid of the use for calling them those words.
They aren't trying to stop the word but i think some are trying to change what the word means. Instead of someone having mental retardation, they are trying to make the change for it to be 'intellectual disability' or 'cognitive disability' or whatever.
It's the word itself that actually comes from mental retardation.I know a few states have actually changed it in school systems were instead of using Mental retardation, they use intellectual disability and not just the schools alone but as a diagnosis. I mean I've always been a bit offended by the diagnosis since that word came up and people use it to mean stupid or dumb.
Put yourself in the shoes of someone with an intellectual disability, maybe even down syndrome and think of how THEY feel being referred to as dumb or stupid because of that word.
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